Very nice that The Onion occasionally takes a break from their humorous satire pieces to write about real people and their dreams. This young man sounds like several of the people I know who have went on to wear the title Law Enforcement Officer.

http://www.theonion.com/article/insecure-frustrated-bully-with-something-to-prove--33427

"My message to my troops is if you see anybody carrying a gun on the streets of Milwaukee, we'll put them on the ground, take the gun away and then decide whether you have a right to carry it." - Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn