Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Favourite expressions...

"uglier than homemade sin on Easter Sunday"
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<br>from Christine "you can't polish a turd"
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Talk is cheap, it takes money to buy whiskey! If you want to howl with the big dogs at night, don't pee like a puppy in the morning. Couldn't hit a barn if he was in it!

when you need to take a dump real bad, you might say that you're "prairie doggin"
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<br>when you're out for the evening with a tightwad you might tell others that he's "tighter than bark on a tree"

If I see somebody do something really dumb...I'll tell them "I have a head in my pants with more brains than that" I also like to say "Busier than a cat in a barn full of rats" or "Busier than a bartender selling penny shots"

I also describe some people as "Crookeder than a ball of baby snakes"

If ignorance is bliss,then you should be very happy.
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For my brother-in-law: he's so dumb you could stuff his brain up an ants butt and it would roll around like a bb in a box car
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<br>Colder than my mother-in-law's heart
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<br>My personal favorite (tried to use it as my signature but its too long): There's two dates they carve on your tombstone, everyone knows what they mean, what's more important is the time known as that little dash in between

Argumentative,
<br>How would you like a fat lip!
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<br>You chap my butt!
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I almost forgot what I told Wifey to put on my tombstone:
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<br>Deer trembled at the mear mention of his name.
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<br>Couple others I've always liked:
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<br>I've been thrown outta lots nicer places than this!
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<br>It aint like it's a pig-pen or a corn-crib or something important.
<br>(When working on a project) (We used it alot when working on racecars)
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<br>Never argue with an idiot. He just drags you down to his level and beats you with experience!
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<br>BTW, Razz. Welcome to the campfire.
<br>7mm

7mm
<br>Thanks, looks like a good gang here. Look forward to some good posts and discussions.

don't eat yellow snow...
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For those of you who milked cows in the South when bitter weed was blooming, you will appreciate this one:
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<br>Makes my butt crave bitter weed! TM

Like any old cowboy, gun-maker Iver Henriksen was good at ginning-up his own sayings --
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<br>"penitentiary horses" (zebras)
<br>"He's so tight, you can't drive an icepick up his ( )*( ) with a ten-pound sledge."
<br>"His neck just grew out and haired-over."
<br>-- and about an old cowboy pard of his, friend of mine, with a reputation, "Sometimes, he's so mean, Mattie has to feed 'im his beans with a slingshot."

heh heh try this on those annoying sorts..
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<br>'you seem to me to be a well balanced individual, but only because you have a chip on both shoulders'
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<br>or stupid people,
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<br>if he had two heads he'd be twice as dull
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<br>if he had another brain cell it would get lonely
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<br>if beauty is skin deep she was born inside out
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<br>keep incest in the family (banjos play....)
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<br>he had a face like a blind cobblers thumb ...

Well, if we are easing over into insults then one I have used and like is:
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<br>Boy, you sure have a lot of class. Unfortunately all of it is pretty damn low.
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<br>BCR

logstove:
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<br>Some of my favoriotes have already been mentioned. Here's a few more.
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<br>"Spank my monkey" (going to the bathroom)
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<br>I'm on it like a duck on a june bug.
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<br>Like putting 10# of contents in a 5# bag.
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<br>"She could make a dead man cum." (Mick Jagger)
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<br>KC
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Confused: He didn't know whether to wind his watch or scratch his ass.
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<br>Reversed : Bassackwards
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<br>Unusual: Queer as a football bat.

Peter Ustinov told of a professor whom he'd known, who could really pin his students to the boards with his capsule appraisals of 'em. He cited this example --
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<br>"Mr Starchblood sets abominably low standards for himself, which he unfortunately fails to achieve." [allowing for my rickety memory, only approximately verbatim]

Thought of this one going into the clinic today. Nervous as a cat in a rocking chair factory. TM

My step father would describe fat people by commenting
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<br>"Rendered, she'd make 100 pounds of lard"
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<br>"shes a year around gal, keep you warm in the winter and sleep in her shade in the summer.
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<br>So much for political correctness
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