Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Calling in sick excuses

From Phoenix Business Journal-

Employee just put a casserole in the oven.
Employee's plastic surgery for enhancement purposes needed some "tweaking" to get it just right.
Employee was sitting in the bathroom and her feet and legs fell asleep. When she stood, up she fell and broke her ankle.
Employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
Employee woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it. My favorite
Employee had a "lucky night" and didn't know where he was.
Employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn't get out.
Employee had a gallstone they wanted to heal holistically.
Employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
Employee wound up the airport and somehow boarded a plane.

i had a bimbo that worked for me call me up begging to be off a few days because a cute guy she just met wanted to fly her to atlantic city for the weekend. i said yes and then laid her off at the first chance i had. nice T&A only goes so far.

Had an employee call in sick because he "thought" a spider bit him in the eye.

Had the same one call in because he couldn't find his truck and was going to go search for it.

Another called, he was diabetic, said he ate a flat of cinnamon rolls and could not see.

Anal glaucoma.



I don't see my ass coming into work today.

Had eye trouble and just couldn't see going to work.

Had one call in that the snow was to bad and he lived in a trail park next to the plant

There are some good ones out there. Honestly I can't say anything, I have been out for 10 days due to bone marrow testing for lymphoma and a non-existant white blood cell count.

I got the big fmla locked down on this one.

Lol


Really though, my employer has been great with me over all my health stuff.

That's a good one...

Can't come in. My arm is in a cast.

Had a kid around 21 or so working for me who always had excuses for being late or not showing up. The last straw was when he called to say he was up most of the night and was tired so he drank a few 5 hour energy drinks and was suddenly not feeling well and wouldn't be in. Told him not to bother coming back.


Hope I was never that stupid!

My best one was a cedarchopper who called in that he drank a Mountain Dew bottle of Roundup ( he stole from us BTW) by accident and he didn't feel good enough to come to work.

I've just decided to vote for Hillary, which made me very sick. But I should be ok by tomorrow because Madonna's coming over tonight.

I do remember one guy when I had my roofing crew.

Said he just remembered that he was supposed to report for his 11/29 suspended sentence. Which was no longer suspended...cause he went back over and beat up his girlfriend AGAIN.

I knew a girl that called in sick three days in a row from rug burns on her cheeks.

I've heard quite a few, and used a few myself. My friend however has one that keeps on giving. His grandfather died. The first time I heard it I said I'm sorry to hear that. He said that's ok... he died 5 yrs ago. But they don't know that, and I didn't lie about him dying.

by the way I have never lost an unemployment appeal from anyone I have fired and there have been a bunch

Told my boss I was having vision problems. Can't see my self coming in tomorrow. He laughed and said 8 am the day after. Best boss ever, also bust my balls for him and he acknowledges it. Its a give and take setup. Told him I am invited to a Kansas phesant this January. His response he and the family will enjoy a phesant dinner. You bet they will.

As an Air Traffic Supervisor, Miami ARTCC

Got a call one morning, 'Hey Gene, this is Valerie (in her most pathetic voice) I need sick leave today' OK, I say take care, 'hold on' she says. 'Hey Gene, this is Rob, I need sick leave too' Approved.............

While working in Miami, got a call from John.... 'I need sick leave' OK, whats the problem? 'I just woke up, I'm in Key West, I don't have any underwear on, I don't know where they are or how I got here'

Same location, Bob called one morning, 'Hey Gene-o, I need sick leave today'.... then I hear in the background coming over the Black-Point Marina loud speaker...conditions for Biscayne Bay ....light chop, sky clear, east wind 5-10...... APPROVED....

Was working at a Lucidol chemical plant. The reciptionest for the entire plant received a personal phone call, and then grabbed her coat and ran out the door with no explanation to anyone.
She returned about 45 min. later, and she excitedly explained that her neighbor called and told her that the power went out in their neighborhood.

She had to run home to reschedule her VCR recorder so she wouldn't' miss her favorite Soap Opera !!

They fired her on the spot.....

One day when we were getting our previous home re-roofed one of the crew showed up a couple of hours late. His excuse was that he had forgotten to charge his ankle monitor overnight and couldn't risk having it go dead.

During breaks and lunchtime that day he was stuck on the patio with his leg attached to the power outlet. His boss gave him a pretty good lecture about not being late again.