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Joined: Sep 2006
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Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,005 |
So, I'm enjoying my second cup of joe this morning, perusing the innanet news and chortling over Broomstick One's email woes, when one of my nurses comes in and yells, "There's a baby being born in the ambulance bay!!!"
"Yeah, right," I said. I ain't gonna get taken in by THAT old joke again. But when the charge nurse bursts in and gives me that look, I realize it ain't a joke. So I put down my cup and walk briskly out to the ambulance bay.
Sure enough, there's a little ol' gal in the front seat of a Chevy with a squalling baby wrapped up in an old blanket in her lap. His head is wet, as is the car seat, which is a pretty good sign of a recent birth. So we scoop her onto an ER cart with the babe in her arms, and I give the kid a quick once-over as we wheel her into the ER and straight thru to the elevators for the OB department upstairs.
Kid looks and sounds great, so I head back to my desk to write up my note. Nurses are all chattering happily (nothing makes a nurse happier than a newborn baby... nothing).
So the charge nurse gets back downstairs from OB, and one of the nurses asks here, "Was it a girl or a boy?"
Charge nurse shrugs. "Dunno. I just got 'em up there. Did you see, Doc?"
"Yep," says I. "It's a boy."
"You sure?" one of the younger nurses asks.
"Well, he had a little penis," says I, holding up my pinky in imitation of a little baby dick.
"Well, that don't mean shee-it," says Charge. "I mean, look at Hillary..."
One. Two. And on three everybody cracked up. I guess everybody in my ER is plannin' on votin' for The Donald.
Last edited by DocRocket; 10/29/16.
"I'm gonna have to science the schit out of this." Mark Watney, Sol 59, Mars
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 19,825 Likes: 3
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 19,825 Likes: 3 |
"Not in an open forum, where truth has less value than opinions, where all opinions are equally welcome regardless of their origins, rationale, inanity, or truth, where opinions are neither of equal value nor decisive." Ken Howell
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Oct 2015
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New Member
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New Member
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 9 |
That got me smiling and laughing this morning, Thanks for that.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 7,306
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 7,306 |
Who said Texans don't have a sense of humor?
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." **Edmund Burke**
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." **Benjamin Franklin**
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,005
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,005 |
"I'm gonna have to science the schit out of this." Mark Watney, Sol 59, Mars
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301 |
The first time I shot myself in the head...
Meniere's Sucks Big Time!!!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 5,611
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 5,611 |
Love it! Great Story.
Re the chief nurse giving you that look...
I was having breakfast in an African country with a U.S. medical doc on a short term team when a drill sergeant kind of ER nurse from the States burst in to say that a girl had been stung by a scorpion. We went out on the porch where the doc looked at the red sting spot on the girl. He nodded approval at whatever pain relief and comforting the nurse was doing and said, “We'll have to wait a few minutes to see if she reacts and goes into (?? some kind of medical term) before we know how to treat this, and he turned to go finish his last bit of breakfast. The nurse glared at him like she wanted to kill him. Inside, he took a sip of coffee, looked at me across the table and said, “I don't think I handled that well.”
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,270 Likes: 13
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,270 Likes: 13 |
God bless Texas----------------------- Old 300 I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull Its not how you pick the booger.. but where you put it !! Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,270 Likes: 13
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,270 Likes: 13 |
Good to hear they support trump. Alice is predominately democrat
God bless Texas----------------------- Old 300 I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull Its not how you pick the booger.. but where you put it !! Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,272 Likes: 41
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,272 Likes: 41 |
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 6,412
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2011
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Hillary did say something about nurses, didn't she?
Me solum relinquatis
Molon Labe
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Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 96,081 Likes: 19
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 96,081 Likes: 19 |
Yeah, they're gonna turn them into drs. Just givem a few more years, if they get the chance.
Ecc 10:2 The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but that of a fool to the left.
A Nation which leaves God behind is soon left behind.
"The Lord never asked anyone to be a tax collector, lowyer, or Redskins fan".
I Dindo Nuffin
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 3,871
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 3,871 |
Thanks Doc. I needed a good laugh this morning. That is a goodun. Cheers NC
don't judge until you have walked a mile in other persons' moccasins' SUM QUOD SUM........HOMINEM TE ESSE MEMENTO
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 10,755 Likes: 1 |
good way to start the day all around,,,,
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,899
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,899 |
One man with courage makes a majority....
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 1,088 Likes: 1
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 1,088 Likes: 1 |
Great news!
When my son was a few months old he was in a major hospital. I left at nearly 10pm when the nurses were changing shift and cut across the ambulance bay. A brown Kingswood (Holden car, sort of famous in Australia from the '70's) came racing across and into the bay, i had to move out of the way.
As it went past I could see someone across the front passenger seat. Screeched to a halt and the driver yelled out "She's delivering"!
Nurses rushed over and a doctor came out from the ED. Next minute, screaming baby and someone yelled out "Its a girl".
A cheer went up from the crowd!
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 17,152 Likes: 5
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 17,152 Likes: 5 |
Walked into the OB suite to do a labor epidural; it was 0200, the usual night-buster for OB. At home, 20 min earlier, aroused from my much needed slumber, the OB nurse in charge said, "yep, she's 4-5 cm and is requesting an epidural".
"Ok, start the protocol and I'll be there in a twenty". Upon arrival, the young lass is writhing with excruciating low back pain. Second pregnancy--"let's check her again", says I.
"OM gosh, there's the head"
"Yep, call her PCP and I'll be in the surgery lounge waiting in case he needs anything".
Multiply this times 1-0-0 times over a thirty + year career of interrupted sleep. I really didn't mind and was always happy with pink, flailing arms and legs and a robust cry without any attendant intervention.
And those are the ones beside those who did get epidurals or emergent c-sections which was another 1-0-0 times the number above above.
All in the rear view mirror now and though it had its gratifications, I miss it about like a case of chronic hemorrhoids.
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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Sheeeitt!!! Unless it is an enormous clit, .... Boy!
Sean
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