Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Lasting words heard on hunts

I grew up in the "pheasanty" part of ND during the late 80's and 90's. Dad and a couple of his buddies were prolific bird hunters. About the time I hit Jr High dad always brought me with. The worst label you could earn among the crew we ran with was "Leg-Shooter". Happens a lot cause people swing to the middle of the bird, which on a pheasant is about even with his thighs and his arse. You'll blow a lotta feathers off, drop one or both legs, but the 'old ditch-parrot is gonna keep right on flying. Do that once or twice and you'll be blamed for every BB in every leg/thigh for a very long time.

We’d called it a day after hauling in some meat and trophies our hunters had taken. Enjoying a beverage in the tent with 3 other guides

One of the hunters had stayed out with another guide and another hunter hopin to score. But he soon gave it up and headed back to camp. There’s a lil river or creek you have to ford to get to camp right by camp.

The client shouts “ hallo the camp, where do I cross the river?”

One of the smartazzes I worked with never missed a beat “ where it’s shallow”


Still cracks me up

Moose hunting fall of 13 in AB. We get to a small stream that usually they jump across, but, it's too wide, so, I do out my brand new Wiggys. Guide use them, gets across, tosses them back, I come across and he's quite happy with this new option. Throughout the week we use them a few times. Last day, I'm crossing the same creek as the first. I find a softer-deeper mud bottom than I'd found before and find myself floundering about. I did finally wallow my way outta the muck, but I got wet. NEver one to take myself too seriously, we have the whole camp just about in tears as The guide and I describe wallowing about, nearly losing a wiggy, etc, etc, etc. so, at the end, we decided the new "code words" for someone who gets into situations in which he's neither experienced nor useful would be, "He's in over his Wiggys". That pretty much brought the house down, at which point I presented the guide with my now dry wiggys as a gift.

"That's why they call it hunting."

That's the best piece of meat I've ever put in my mouth... He's never have lived that one down.

This wasn't hunting related but ...

USFS trail crew camp. One of the guys described his recent date something like this: "She is divorced and said her ex was a real pervert. He must have been, because she wouldn't do anything strange with me."

I ran into Brian a few months ago and reminded him of those 42 year old words.... I'm bad.....

My #2 son, Mooseboy, was 9 when I took him out for his first yute hunt. He had been out with me before and watched me take deer. However, he was still growing into the sport, and the hard part was keeping him awake in the blind. In the spring, I'd let him come out with me turkey hunting. It wasn't the sleeping that was a problem, it was the snoring. However, he did manage to call in two hens with it. They came up and stuck their heads over the blind.

Now it was deer season. I'd recently acquired a new Marlin 336. It was a warm afternoon in mid-October. I had a spot picked out in one of the pastures to put up a hasty blind and wait for the deer to show up. We came early and Mooseboy, instead of his usual snoring, stayed awake and fidgetted. He insisted there were no deer coming, and it was hopeless, and I'd dragged him off into the middle of a god-forsaken field. I kept reminding him that the deer generally didn't show up until sundown or shortly thereafter. That wasn't good enough. He was in the middle of a real 9 year old snit when a loud noise came from over his shoulder. His hands froze on the rifle.

"Wh--what's that?"

"That, oh best-beloved fruit of my loins," I replied, "Is the deer you said were not coming, arriving."

He turned quickly, and may have seen the three white tails sailing through the oaks as the deer departed.

i shot a deer once while hunting with a buddy. he was watching the deer on the side of a real steep ridge at 300yds with his binoculars . when i shot he said 'he's running straight down the mountain,no its [bleep] and elbows,he's flippin' i'll never forget him screaming that.

Had a family member that used to say, "you know, theres a lot of air around them sons-a-bitches" any time he'd miss anything.

Posting at our club a couple of years ago we started talking about sporting good stores. One of the guys says "I like to shop at Academy, I really don't care for Dicks". One of the older guys says "ooooooo I love Dicks". We all about fell off the proch.

Where’d I hit?

A true story, my wife’s first elk ( around 1972 or so and she was very inexperienced), hunting near Jackson Wy. The party went separate directions. She shot a cow (elk.....smart a$$e$), which was witnessed by someone not hunting, who came over to talk to her. She knew that she needed to field-dress the kill, but had never done it. She asked the man for help, his response...” I’ve can’t do it, but, I’ve read about it, I’ll talk you thru it”! memtb

The huntin' was great, but the shootin' not so good!

"I missed because I suck."

About 20 years ago, the State of Maryland raised our bag limits for deer to 6 bucks and 30 does. So me and a guy that works for me had a contest to see who could kill the most deer.

Our favorite saying was, "If it's brown, it's down."

More like multiplying by zero.

2 yrs ago my oldest son shot a buck (his 5th deer) and got me to help. Buck dropped close by and I told him since I did the first deer he shot, showed him everything again on the second, and his grandfather had done the others it was time for him to do this one. He informed me that he had watched a YouTube video on it last night, no problem. So I'm holding a leg and waiting. He looks at me and asked how to start. My reply was you watched the video, what'd they do? He said I missed that part. I told him to grab the pecker and start there but cutting it off. His reply, with my hands? I said, you can use your teeth but I use a knife. It was an entertaining event to say the least.

A friend that had me and High Brass to his camp several times described deer running by him as, "that deer went by me with a rocket up his azz" !

High Brass used to say "That's why they call it hunting and not killing".

I grabbed the wrong gun

On a goat hunt in SE Alaska, We ended up moving to the other side of the lake (about 1 mile across) in which we were dropped off at. We left the big tent and most of our shiet and headed out with a 2 man tent.

We were there 3 days longer than expected because of weather and the float plane couldn't make it in. He finally arrived and was where he dropped us off but of course saw no sign of us. I fired a round and a minute later he was in the plane, started it up and was headed off at a good clip.

My pard chambered a round and said 'If he tries to take off, I'm shooting him down'

Aussie farmer to me during a cull........"Did you use a round nose on that one?" "Yeah, how did you know?" "They sound different when they hit and work better than a spire point!"