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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 26,678 Likes: 21
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 26,678 Likes: 21 |
My wife got one of them damn Alexa machines a few days ago. I don't really talk to it because it scares me. I have told her to play piano music or the like for dinner. I was in the mood for a little comedy today, so I gave her a command. "Alexa, play fart noises." She said it wasn't available without an upsell of some sort, and she asked me if I wanted to upgrade. I said "no." Then she had the audacity to tease me by giving me a one fart sample of what I was missing. It was a good 'un I mean to tell you. Does anyone know how much the upgrade costs?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,359
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,359 |
Paul! PAUL! smash that thing to bits now, before it is too late!!!!!! 
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 26,678 Likes: 21
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 26,678 Likes: 21 |
Paul! PAUL! smash that thing to bits now, before it is too late!!!!!! I was impressed that she knew what a fart was. I have since learned that she doesn't know what a queef is.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 815
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 815 |
I just asked our Alexa to fart and it was a long juicy one. Reeked. You need the white trash version like ours. Dave
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,274 Likes: 41
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,274 Likes: 41 |
She's worthless unless she can scratch your balls.
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,079 Likes: 3
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,079 Likes: 3 |
"Social order at the expense of Liberty is hardly a bargain” de Sade
"He who'll not reason is a Bigot, he who cannot is a Fool, and he who dares not is a Slave."SirWilliamDrummond
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 42,192 Likes: 66
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 42,192 Likes: 66 |
Make Gitmo Great Again!!
Who gave the order to stop counting votes in the swing states on the night of November 3/4, 2020?
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,720 Likes: 6
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,720 Likes: 6 |
First time on my iPad with Siri turned on
Siri says what would you like to do?
Go Fugg yourself !
I didn’t understand.
I said Go Fugg yourself.
Dave, That wasn’t nice.
Well no chit.
Think you need a time out.
I shut the damn thing off. But my wife sure was laughing. 😃
Swifty
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,286 Likes: 9
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,286 Likes: 9 |
Paul, you do know it's not really a "She" don't you?
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,274 Likes: 41
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,274 Likes: 41 |
Poor Paul, he got a transgender robot..........
Jim-
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 26,678 Likes: 21
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 26,678 Likes: 21 |
My wife bought one of them damn robot vacuum cleaners too. That thing is possessed. Wherever I am in the house it will immediately seek me out when it comes on and stay within 10 feet of me until I move. Next thing I know, it's at my feet again.
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Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,926 Likes: 1
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,926 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,182 Likes: 2
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,182 Likes: 2 |
It is useful for 9 out of 10 problems...
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,182 Likes: 2
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,182 Likes: 2 |
My kids give Alexa a workout. I’m waiting for the day when it yells, “GFY”!
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 Likes: 1
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 Likes: 1 |
Amazing how willingly people are to bring sheit like that into their house. Though I ain't surprised that mama wears the pants.
"Dear Lord, save me from Your followers"
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 46,965
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 46,965 |
My wife got one of them damn Alexa machines a few days ago. I don't really talk to it because it scares me. I have told her to play piano music or the like for dinner. I was in the mood for a little comedy today, so I gave her a command. "Alexa, play fart noises." She said it wasn't available without an upsell of some sort, and she asked me if I wanted to upgrade. I said "no." Then she had the audacity to tease me by giving me a one fart sample of what I was missing. It was a good 'un I mean to tell you. Does anyone know how much the upgrade costs? Maybe your life. I won't ever have one of those in my home, car, or anyplace.
We may know the time Ben Carson lied, but does anyone know the time Hillary Clinton told the truth?
Immersing oneself in progressive lieberalism is no different than bathing in the sewage of Hell.
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Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 12,157 Likes: 18
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 12,157 Likes: 18 |
We don't need no stinking alexa….
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 20
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 20 |
My wife got one of them damn Alexa machines a few days ago. I don't really talk to it because it scares me. I have told her to play piano music or the like for dinner. I was in the mood for a little comedy today, so I gave her a command. "Alexa, play fart noises." She said it wasn't available without an upsell of some sort, and she asked me if I wanted to upgrade. I said "no." Then she had the audacity to tease me by giving me a one fart sample of what I was missing. It was a good 'un I mean to tell you. Does anyone know how much the upgrade costs? Paul, if you get the upgrade can you burn it to a CD and fax it to me?
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,286 Likes: 9
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,286 Likes: 9 |
My wife got one of them damn Alexa machines a few days ago. I don't really talk to it because it scares me. I have told her to play piano music or the like for dinner. I was in the mood for a little comedy today, so I gave her a command. "Alexa, play fart noises." She said it wasn't available without an upsell of some sort, and she asked me if I wanted to upgrade. I said "no." Then she had the audacity to tease me by giving me a one fart sample of what I was missing. It was a good 'un I mean to tell you. Does anyone know how much the upgrade costs? Maybe your life. I won't ever have one of those in my home, car, or anyplace. The way things are moving the only way to avoid such things are going to be doing without. Your TVs, Vehicles, a short stroll down Main Street America are all gonna have us tuned in and wire tapped out... It's headed that direction now
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 26,679 Likes: 10
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 26,679 Likes: 10 |
"she laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed!
I shot the toaster.....
It's all good now.....
FJB & FJT
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