Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Best and Worst Product Reviews

Here are my top two favorites;

Worst; "The sight is not very accurate straight out of the box, and some zeroing will be needed. As soon as you zero it, though, you’ll find that this small red dot sight is as accurate as other models ten times its price"

Best; "First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile."

Anyone else have their favorites?

Ed

Well, my wife's certainly does.

Being a damn plumber, I’ve seen a lot of cshit. I never seen any that sparkled or smelled like flowers

The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee



February 12, 2018
Size: LargeColor: Military Green Verified Purchase

I bought this product as a gift for my beautiful wife. We have three sons and she loves the military green color. I thought this gift would be perfect with its three wild wolves representing the three small pups we have at home while the rest represents me as her moon and stars.
Upon arrival, I decided to reveal this wonderful gift to her early, as I could not contain the thoughtfulness that went in to this Valentine's Day present. Her reaction was different than I anticipated.

I thought for sure she'd be excited. When I pulled that shirt out of its plastic sleeve there was a look of awestruck wonder that had appeared on my wife's face. For a moment, I thought that she may have mistaken this shirt for tickets to Disneyworld or a few scratch-offs as her expression of joy was one I had not seen since the last time I surprised her with an Oreo Blizzard. With the fury of the she-wolf that had dwelt long in slumber deep down in her bones, she attacked me and stole the shirt from my grasps. Before I could open my eyes she had adorned said shirt and had me pinned to the floor. She leaned in close and began sniffing my head and neck. I could feel her honing in on my jugular and it was at this time I first feared for my life.

Suddenly in one swift motion, she took me straight from the floor and threw me over her shoulder. I felt like an innocent kettlebell being manhandled during an afternoon WOD. The last thing I remember is the weightlessness I felt as I soared through the air. I landed so hard on our bed that I blacked out. I can’t say what happened next. This may be due to the head trauma I sustained or perhaps it is my subconscious doing all it can to protect my now fragile psyche; blocking the experience from my recollection.

I woke up two days later. I am not sure where she is now. Our pillows and cushions have been ripped to pieces in the living room and cotton covers the floors like a winter wonderland. All the shoes in the house have been torn up and it appears someone used the business end of a toilet brush as a chew toy. Our home is eerily quiet. The silence is periodically broken by moans that I can only assume are coming from an injured cat in the distance. There are claw marks on the back door as it swings wide open, allowing the cold February air to fill our home. I am scared to leave. I've now locked myself in the bathroom and am writing this review for the safety and concern I have for other husbands.

Take my advice. For Valentine’s Day, get her a gift card.

(one of thousands of reviews for this shirt)

Ed, I read that one about the gummy bears a while back. Cracks me up. That woman has a future in comedy writing if she chooses to change professions.

I'm mostly impressed he knew how to spell Murgatroyd.