Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Car Wash Blues

After seemingly weeks of rain, it finally dawned clear and dry yesterday.

I decided to take the Nissan Pathfinder to the nearest drive thru car wash. You guessed it, 1000 of my closest friends decided to do the exact same thing at the exact same time.

So I get into line and slowly inch my way to the electronic pay station. Drive up and insert my debit card like it says to do. Display pops up “Are you a rewards member?” No. “Do you want to buy 6 months of washes for the price of 3 months?” No. “Do you want to upgrade to the deluxe wash?” No. “Do you want to get the rain-x treatment for your vehicle?” No. “Is your vehicle more than 10 years old?” It seems as if the car wash is not responsible for damage to your vehicle if it is more than 10 years old. No. “Is this a debit or credit card?” Debit. “Do you want your receipt emailed to you?” NO! “Please enter your password.” XXXX. “Please wait for the arm to rise and proceed.”

So I drive forward and the dude points to the sign that says “Hands off the steering and leave your vehicle in neutral.” The little chain thingy starts moving and I am finally going into the bay. I get all sudsy and then none of the brushes work and the final rinse doesn’t work.

I go to the office and complain, even bring the manager out to look at my truck bed load of suds. He says, “No problem, I’ll give you a rewash free.” Decent guy, I think. So he prints out a bar code on a piece of paper and says “Here, scan this when the machine asks for your debit card.”

So I get into line and slowly inch my way back to the electronic pay station. Drive up and, instead of inserting my debit card, I scan the bar code like the manager says to do. Display pops up “Are you a rewards member?” NO! “Do you want to buy 6 months of washes for the price of 3 months?” NO! “Do you want to upgrade to the deluxe wash?” NO! “Do you want to get the rain-x treatment for your vehicle?” NO! “Is your vehicle more than 10 years old?” NO! Then the display pops up with “Sorry we are unable to process this transaction, please insert your debit card.” So I scan the barcode again.

Display pops up “Are you a rewards member?” NO GOD DAMNIT! “Do you want to buy 6 months of washes for the price of 3 months?” NO GOD DAMNIT! “Do you want to upgrade to the deluxe wash?” NO GOD DAMNIT! “Do you want to get the rain-x treatment for your vehicle?” NO GOD DAMNIT! “Is your vehicle more than 10 years old?” NO [bleep]!

I look in my rear view mirror and the car load of kids behind me are cracking up at the old man in front of them punching the schidt out of the machine with his finger. I guess this is progress, but it ain’t fun to me.

I would love to be able to program the dude’s car that invented that particular card reader so that every time he inserted his key it asked “Are you sure you want to start your car?” “Do you want to do the de luxe start up option?” “Did you forget anything you need to take with you?” “Is your auto insurance up to date?” “Please enter your password.” and “Would you like an electronic record of this start up emailed to you?”

Sounds like you luck and my luck with those machines, are about the same. Did you get your vehicle washed?

If it had a kiss my ass button it would get pushed more than any other one. Ed k

I give a guy a few bucks and pull it onto the rails. He spray preps the whole truck then presses a button that starts the whole production. At the end are two guys with fresh clean towels that dry off all the places that they can reach (it's a tall F350). Easy-peasy.

Most car washes here are you holding a wand.
Some have an automatic bay, only daylight hours, not used often. (Never been in one for a car, used a few with a semi)


Folks here aren't paying for an automatic, and you never know how much mud the previous customer
had.

Lol, At least the kids had fun......

I have a car and truck wash in my driveway.

Gas pump, -20F ambient with a 15+ MPH wind and the LCD screen on the pump has slowed to less than 1/2 speed.

Do you have a Loyalty Account?











Do you want a car wash?











Is this a Debit Card?












Would you like a receipt?













Select fuel





















Begin pumping. Pumping what? My hands and ears are frozen and I've been exposed to the cold for so long I can't remember why I'm outside..............

God forbid you have a fleet card and also need to enter a passcode and vehicle mileage because when the screen is so cold that it's slowed down, the numbers on the key pad don't work worth a hoot either.

And the friggin commercials that they are putting on gas pumps nowadays. I have identified the local ones that do not have a mute button, and refuse to get gas at those locations.

I will pay for gas, not commercials.

Geeze, the Chevron pump asks, would you like a wash?
Punch the number on your receipt.
That’s it.

Haven't washed my cars and trucks in at least 3 years

I watched a dyke in a pickup right in front of me TOTAL one of those automatic car washes one day...

No telling how much damage it did to her truck either.

She drove it off the pipe tire guides at the floor of the wash, and went straighten it up, and tore the hell out of everything!

It progressed to the point of rapid acceleration in reverse then forward. Bang! Bang! Bang!


I backed the hell up, since I was next in line, and knew the car wash wasn't going to work now anyway... and didn't want her totaling my truck in her insane frenzy.

Sure wish they had video phone apps back then.

....... There it is !!............. We NEED those things incorporated into these control units. All in the name of honest, open feedback so that there can be an accurate, comprehensive, database that can correctly gauge customer satisfaction. Perhaps along with a "Eff U." button, perhaps?

ERK: I like it, I like it!! Great idea. Maybe one that says "Do you want to go through a bunch of bullschidt or just do what you came here to do?"

I do my own. Takes about 30 minutes

I use only the brushless ones, because those damn whirling cat of nine tails ones bend, break, or gouge everything.

Mine say "Pick your Wash" then "Insert Card". That's all. Drive ahead until the green light turns red and put it in Park. Undercarriage, Double wash, Rinse, Spotfree rinse, Wax, then 60 seconds of blow dry. $8.

I get my truck washed when the windows get so dirty I can barely see through them. The car wash I go to is exactly as you described but it does a great job. The electronic payment screens are placed where the sun is in your eyes and can't see the screen. I always pull past the screen and get out so I can squat down low enough to get out of the sun. It's so bad that they usually have an employee at the screen to key in your payment and wash selection.

The only problem I ever had at this car wash is when a young man in a Ford pickup put his brakes on at the exit so the blower would dry his truck more. When I came out of the rinse water I saw his brake lights and slammed on my brakes so I wouldn't hit him, The guy behind me hit my truck because his windshield was covered in soapy water and he couldn't see my truck even after he hit me. Instead of leaving the young man pulled in one of the vacuum stations and I pulled in behind him so he couldn't leave. I got the car wash manager and told him what happened.

It turned out there several vehicles that had front/rear damage from having to stop in the car wash. I has my trailer hitch in that day so I didn't have any damage but the guy had a lot of damage to his small car. The young man denied that he put his brakes on so I told the manager and all the drivers with damage I would be a witness for them. I don't know how insurance companies handled all the claims but young man caused all the damage.

Why not save money and just wash your rig in the rain? Gods free car wash

Even when the sun's not in your way, you can't see them while wearing polarized sunglasses either.