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Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 329
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OP
Campfire Member
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 329 |
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant.
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it.
FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT...DIE IF WE MUST...BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER...IN GOD WE TRUST!
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 7,896 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 7,896 Likes: 1 |
I tried that on my wife one time, but she wasn't choking.
"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem."
Ronald Reagan
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,000 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,000 Likes: 2 |
Did any obstruction come flying out?
When a country is well governed, poverty and a mean condition are something to be ashamed of. When a country is ill governed, riches and honors are something to be ashamed of
. Confucius
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319 |
"All that the South has ever desired was that the Union, as established by our forefathers, should be preserved, and that the government, as originally organized, should be administered in purity and truth." – Robert E. Lee
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,626 Likes: 52
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,626 Likes: 52 |
That was a good one. I love your jokes
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,626 Likes: 52
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 152,626 Likes: 52 |
Wifey thought it was good too!
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,799 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,799 Likes: 1 |
Hind-lick maneuver.......gotta remember that one......... 
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,375 Likes: 7
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,375 Likes: 7 |
Back about a decade ago, I was still taking my deer to the processor in Lennoxburg, KY. It was owned by two brothers and a sister, and they were getting up there in age. To say these folks were old school types understated the situation greatly.
One night I nailed a buck around sunset and had a hard time getting it out, because I was hunting alone. I showed up at the store about 10 minutes before closing and I saw the fellow closing up.
"You probably think I'm gonna open up again just fer ya! Ain't gonna happen."
"It IS 10 minutes before you regular closing," I replied.
"Too late, Come back t'mara. I gotta go see Jake. He's in the hospital."
"I'm sorry to hear that," I said. "I hope it isn't serious."
"Well," he replied. "They all thought he had Blue Roses."
"Blue Roses. That's what the doc said." (He meant Pleurosis) "The thought it was Blue Roses, but they've decided he's got the New Mown Hay." (Pneumonia.)
"I hear that can be bad," I replied.
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