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Strange Shootin' Stuff
copyright 2004 - Stephen Redgwell



Hey Bubba, I gotta get me one of them BIG scopes that all the real gun experts use. I'm lookin' for one of them large, subjective lenses of about 150mm, so's you can spot a gnat on a deer's ass at 600 yds...at night...in the fog. And, of course, a stockular lense that has a massive rubber ridge on it, so's my eye don't get sqwuzzed through the tube.

Hey, what about them 4-128x100 Night Farce rifle scopes with the camera, GPS, "on gun" trip computer and microwave on the top? My friends curse the Japanese, but hell, you gotta love the miniaturization that them people come up with. I hear they may be addin' a CB radio and TV to them next year. Maybe I'll wait...What's that fellow what did them equipment write ups in Practically Tactical magazine? Steve something or other? He might know...

I got me a new 800 Hemi Ramjet, Improved Ackley, Super Charged. It's one of them new rifles that the folks at Artificial Arms just put out. 42 inch barrel, adjustable trigger from 6 oz. to 1 lb. Matte black, synthetic stock with shoulder straps. I wanted to get their regular model, but the carbine was all they had in stock.

The gun shop guy said that my Ramjet was designed to be used with the new TealTree electronic camo suit and boots. He said they finally done it. They found a way to automatically change the suit's camouflagin' ability instantaneously, when you're walkin' through the woods. They even put in a "Boot Silencer" and "Smell Filtration" system (patent pendin'). With the optional face mask, you can smoke your favourite cigar and fart, but the animals will be none the wiser!

I had to trade in the truck and get a Hummer, so's I could get the gun case inside. The bed on my old Ford just wasn't long enough. I'll be addin' beefier shocks too when I get paid next week.

Now if they could only come up with a way to fit a six pack of beer comfortably into my ball cap, I'd be in heaven. Sometimes it seems like they just ain't tryin'...

Can you get up and on target after shooting that?

The rifle's not bad, but the shotgun is a bear to swing.

Once you get it started, follow through shouldn't be a problem.