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Joined: Dec 2007
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2007
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Bro in law's farts could take out a whole family.
Poor lil sis. Her olfactory sensors were burned out in high school.
If they ever ask you to go to the movies with them, RUN!!!
BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG!
PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!"
---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9 |
Since Dave has decided to act particularly juvenile this weekend, I'll clear up the ham sandwich story before it morphs into Campfire folklore. It wasn't a ham sandwich, but facts don't matter to mockers, as long as they can mock someone for something. It doesn't matter the topic, the person, or the time, what matters is "Can I make fun of someone today and make myself appear funny somehow?". Most of us outgrew that whole mindset sometime around 5th grade, but it seems it's hung on and become an identity for Dave.
So the story goes I choked while eating McDonalds food but for the grace of God would have died that day. I guess that's funny to some. What I thought was funny was when I told Dave back then too bad I couldn't swallow like he does, I wouldn't have had a problem. I guess humor is in the eye of the beholder.
Choking is no laughing matter but that's ok, everyone has a date with destiny and I'll take mine any time I'm called but wouldn't want to be in a few others shoes when that day arrives unexpectedly.
There you go Dave, more fuel for your mock-fest. Have at it.
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An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,553 Likes: 23
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,553 Likes: 23 |
A lot of choking victims die in the bathroom.
They start to choke...get embarrassed and go to the bathroom.
Others in the party go investigate later and find the person dead.
When you are choking.....stay near the people who can save you!
Jeebus!
I am MAGA.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 17,231 Likes: 2
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 17,231 Likes: 2 |
Why do you sick fucques open a thread about the perfect murder weapon, AND know so much about it??!!!  Except Dave, who thinks murdering people with a ham sandwich is a good idea. But he lives in FL and carries and LCP so consider the source. Yeah, you got me quick, I thought it was an original idea, but I guess not. Icycle. Good thing I didn't use it after all, I would be so busted right now. I don't get it? do you run over them with the Icycle, or make your escape on the Icycle? and how many wheels does it have, anyway?
...Actually Sycamore, you are sort of right....
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 29,786
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 29,786 |
One of the threads reminded me of it. I figgered it out years ago and still haven't had a need for it.  I bet there's been a novel written that used it. I'm talking weapon that you use with your hands, not a gas or some schit. Any guesses? Clue- Ha, you wish. Not a gas my arse. A cake of cyanide dropped in a jar of acid on top of some pricks air-conditioner will definitely sort out your problems.
These are my opinions, feel free to disagree.
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Joined: May 2011
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9 |
I've never one a spelling bea Sycamore.
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An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 24,273 Likes: 11
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 24,273 Likes: 11 |
Amazing number of idiots who commit crimes carrying a cell phone. You’re getting pinged constantly especially in urban areas and not just by cell towers. Like a trail of bread crumbs.people have clue how data is constantly being collected on them and stored. oh and don’t take a pic at the crime scene and text to your buddies.
Last edited by ribka; 06/09/19.
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Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
Fireballz always mad about somethin'. I'll never understand why.
If you showed up to camp one year and told your story about choking on an english muffin and seeing The Jesus, people would laugh about it. It's not as though there's any animosity involved. It's just funny. It's funny on the internets, and it's funny in real life.
You don't have to get all weird about it and threaten to shoot me with your 1911. Everybody knows I can shoot better than you anyway.
If you didn't take yourself so seriously all the time you'd probably have more friends.
Now, go in peace my son.
And chew your food for fugk sake.
Dave
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
A lot of choking victims die in the bathroom.
They start to choke...get embarrassed and go to the bathroom.
Others in the party go investigate later and find the person dead.
When you are choking.....stay near the people who can save you!
Jeebus! Kinda rude to die at the dinner table ain't it?
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13
Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
Amazing number of idiots who commit crimes carryypa cell phone. You’re getting pinged constantly especially in urban areas. Like a trail of bread crumbs.oh and don’t take a pic at the crime science and text to your buddies. Ol' Jussie paid those Nigerians with a check. LMAO.
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9 |
A lot of choking victims die in the bathroom.
They start to choke...get embarrassed and go to the bathroom.
Others in the party go investigate later and find the person dead.
When you are choking.....stay near the people who can save you!
Jeebus! Had a co-worker choke on an apple, he stood up and pointed at his neck. The foreman was right on him and gave him the heimlich and it popped right out. Scared him good.
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An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 1,326
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 1,326 |
This: ![[Linked Image]](https://i.vgy.me/r6kPTC.png)
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Joined: Dec 2007
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 17,048 |
In some circles McDonald's food is considered attempted suicide.
Get counseling.
That or keep trying.
BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG!
PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!"
---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9 |
If I need advice from you, I'll be sure and let you know. Thanks for being such a caring person Dave. it's your finest quality. Fireballz always mad about somethin'. I'll never understand why.
If you showed up to camp one year and told your story about choking on an english muffin and seeing The Jesus, people would laugh about it. It's not as though there's any animosity involved. It's just funny. It's funny on the internets, and it's funny in real life.
You don't have to get all weird about it and threaten to shoot me with your 1911. Everybody knows I can shoot better than you anyway.
If you didn't take yourself so seriously all the time you'd probably have more friends.
Now, go in peace my son.
And chew your food for fugk sake.
Dave Whatever infidel.
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An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13
Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
Always mad about somethin'.
You need The Jesus.
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9 |
In some circles McDonald's food is considered attempted suicide.
Get counseling.
That or keep trying.
Dude, we have lines here on the fire that can't be crossed. I don't know where they are, but they're fer reeeewwwwlll.
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An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13
Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
Since Dave has decided to act particularly juvenile this weekend, I'll clear up the ham sandwich story before it morphs into Campfire folklore. It wasn't a ham sandwich, but facts don't matter to mockers, as long as they can mock someone for something. It doesn't matter the topic, the person, or the time, what matters is "Can I make fun of someone today and make myself appear funny somehow?". Most of us outgrew that whole mindset sometime around 5th grade, but it seems it's hung on and become an identity for Dave.
So the story goes I choked while eating McDonalds food but for the grace of God would have died that day. I guess that's funny to some. What I thought was funny was when I told Dave back then too bad I couldn't swallow like he does, I wouldn't have had a problem. I guess humor is in the eye of the beholder.
Choking is no laughing matter but that's ok, everyone has a date with destiny and I'll take mine any time I'm called but wouldn't want to be in a few others shoes when that day arrives unexpectedly.
There you go Dave, more fuel for your mock-fest. Have at it. “But for the Grace of God.” Somebody get this guy a Bronze Star or somethin’.
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,325 Likes: 9 |
I can see that the biggest mistake anyone could make here is just showing up to one of your circle jerks. Non-stop idiocy.
Last edited by Fireball2; 06/09/19.
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An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 10,233 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 10,233 Likes: 4 |
momma cass died of heart attack , nobody knows how the rumor about Ham sandwich started .
converting to islam will teach you how kill.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,391
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,391 |
Choking is a real life hazard! Everyone should know the signs and how to apply the Heineken maneuver. You too could save a life! Besides nearly choking to death is a well known cause of PTSD.
mike r
Don't wish it were easier
Wish you were better
Stab them in the taint, you can't put a tourniquet on that.
Craig Douglas ECQC
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