Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Child discipline

She knows she loved there is no question on that, typically after a big blow up her favorite thing to say to me is "I don't like you" and I turn her around and I say "I don't care if you like me or not I love you, no matter what" unfortunately this has become a daily exercise.
She knows what the sound of a leather belt snapping out of 8 wrangler belt loops sounds like, but it doesn't stop her. I've dealt with "bad" dogs, and troubled horses, crazy women, and raging blizzards, my oldest son has some emotional issues, thanks to his bio-mother doing what she did, but this little girl puts this daddy under a ton of stress, all I want is her to have a good life and learn she's got knock off this behavior.

Spare the child....spoil the rod I always say.

Crossed our mind, she is a bit of a loaner, but by no means shy, and didn't fit the spectrum at all, she punched a boy in her preschool class because he took away a toy from some other kid who was her friend. She stands up for what she thinks is right but there is no persuading her. I apprecieat her standing up to the little boy but that was an isolated situation of her doing something right"
She gave my middle child a black eye over the last grape Popsicle, and she doesn't even like the grape Popsicle. .

Sometimes it moderates a bit when they go to school.

They see others act that way and they dont like it.

It has helped a bit with my daughter anyway.


She hates bullies...... because she gets bullied once in a while.

she is Strong willed which will probably be a good thing in the long run.

This is sounding more and more like my kind of kid.

Our youngest is a hellion.

At three years he carries a knife in his boot.

You just guide them best you can and try to instil values.

Some kids need the world to beat the schit outta them for a while.

She is only 4 after all.

over the weekend i had my number one grandson/son at the house with his four year old son, my great grandson.
it was a good time, and grandson continually reminds me of what i did with him growing up, he runs into with his son...

I had the good fortune of two parents that loved me, but i wasn't always the easiest to contend with.
I remember my dad telling me befoe a couple of epic beatdowns if he did it right, he wouldn't have to do it often.
he was right.
I remember one time he told me to water the dog, and i basically told him to stuff it. this started a chase down the street of our home town, and he fell and broke his elbow while chasing me. He told me if i kept running to just keep going, or come back and accept whats coming.
whats coming was an ironing cord over my back in the front yard, leaving welts on my back, he did a good job.
about 20minutes later the police showed up, somebody reported it. they asked him about beating a child.
i could hear the conversation in my bedroom, and when they asked me, i told them i didn't know what they were talking about.
after they left, my dad said you must be getting smarter, cause he would have went to jail, but the beating when he got out would be much worse than what i just had gone through.

then there was the day at about age 10 i got in trouble and got thrown in the adult slammer from about ten in the morning till after dark.
my dad finally showed up, wanted to know if i wanted out but i had better think about it knowing what was coming.
I wanted out.
he took me into the police officers ready room, all full of cops, and beat the crap out of me. cops were egging him on. when we left the station, i got a kick in the butt all the way home. a week later after he paid a fine, on my behalf, i got another dose.
The last time he was nailing be was about six months before he died. At that point i was too big and had no effect on me, i was just laughing.
he stopped and said to me if i heard about a smith and wesson. His life was just about over, if he shot me, he would get his meals every day, peace and quiet, but i, just starting life, would be dead.
to this day, i think he was serious.
I loved that man, because he cared enough about me to knock me sideways when i got big for my britches.
we were talking about that this weekend, as i had a few memorable moments with the grandson. The great grandson is a very good boy, full of spunk. But i was telling his dad he is gonna contest him, just like him contested me, and i contested my father.
I would never hurt a child, but i don't believe in them setting the rules. Lieing is one of the big ones.

Don't discount some degree of autism. There is a lot to it but I know many of the high functioning autistics like to hit and are stubborn as hell. It's not that they disregard everyone else's feelings, they don't even recognize others emotions. They are highly reactive and difficult and don't always respond to spanking like a normal kid. Spanking can sometimes make them worse. Especially since they often want to hit anyways so when they see an adult doing it they think ots just the way to go.

Wear her out...with good stuff chores, projects, yes even fun things. Hopefully with you and/or momma.

Exhaustion. Works on horses, dogs, and even kids.

If the spankings and belts arent working, dont do it anymore. It will only empower her.

I follow my wife's lead when it comes to this stuff, as much as I can anyway. I have to admit that POSITIVE reinforcement seems to be the trick for us. I get in the habit sometimes of only giving the kids enough attention when it is negative. I expect them to say yes sir and yes ma'am, but if I only give them attention (correction) when they forget, that doesn't help them remember. When I give them attention (reward) when they do remember, it makes them really want to remember again.

Easier said than done, but I believe that strategy has endless applications. Figure out what she is doing right, and reward the heck out of her for it. Give her opportunities to make the right decision. Make her feel so proud that she did X the first time you asked her. When she screws up correct it and move on, don't linger on it. She will become addicted to that praise and look for more ways to find it. Just don't tire out after a couple days like I usually do.

Good luck, and get professional help if you need it.

Couple months ago some civic club had a daddy/daughter dance, we went to all went well for about 30 minutes until she ran off climbed on stage and started smashing light-bulbs, then 30 other little girls started doing the same, I was embarrassed, but honestly didn't know what to do other then leave when she did this. Shes a very happy child just too self driven I think the key is to focus the energy into something positive, but so far everything we have tired has failed, because she gets board quick.

Can that go too far and produce a child who then expects special attention and lavish rewards for doing the right thing, which she ought to be doing as a matter of course?

I never hit my boy.

I just held him under water. Leaves no marks but creates a lasting impression.






P

Check out this web site and others for Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases...nt-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20375831




Good luck,

Jerry

I read the other responses. I would suggest getting professional help for yourself. By that I mean you need a coach, an advocate, and a sounding board ... someone who knows the system, knows what the limits of what you can do are without getting yourself in jail.

Things bein' what they are in the world today, i would not choose to have kids. I love the one I have, but it was by luck, not by any skill on my part, that she turned out as she did.

Tom

Good luck with it, WyoC.

I got all sorts of disciplinary actions for years, did things I wanted to do knowing full well if caught I'd get punished/spanked/belted, started early too, as mom saved my first few years of report cards. Apparently, while one of the "smartest" kids in the class I didn't pay attention, disturbed the class, and got poor "citizenship" grades as far back as kindergarten. At about 15 years old, I decided it was the last time my old man would raise his hand at me and told him he'd have to take a few too if that's the route he decided to take. Never got whacked again.

Fortunately, I never got in any serious trouble, I didn't relish the idea of losing my freedom to do what I wanted by being sentenced to life behind bars.

About 32 I finally got some sense and started a different lifestyle. I hope your daughter "gets it" a lot earlier in life. Perhaps if my folks had taken me to a good counselor they may have been able to do something, but they didn't even have the diagnoses they have today. Probably would have been sent to "reform School".

Mom's best advice in this situation would be to sell her to the gypsies...................... and when I was your daughter's age I think I believed it would happen. Seem to recall it worked better than dad's belt.

Again, best of luck.

Geno

Sure it could. I didn't mean "lavish rewards". I meant attention. They all want our attention, and we should be giving it to them.

And just so we are on the same page it is totally against my nature to focus on the reward and not correct so much. But like I said, I must admit, it really does seem to work. Any I am glad my boy is not proud of the good things he is doing, rather than misbehaving and waiting to see how I react (not that he is perfect by any means).

I remember going through basic training many moons ago.. The Drill sergeants had this one exercise, well not really an exercise more like ph uckign torture. Anyhow When some one ph ucked up they would have you put your back against the wall and slide down like you were sitting in a chair, then you put your arms straight out in front of you. Holy Ph uck, anyhow My step boys were acting like hellions many yrs ago, so the oldest was first in the chute. I do remember him sitting there crying because it hurt, said nope stay there until I say you are done. I'm not saying do this a young 4 yr old kid but something to remember when they get older and you want to do something that doesn't require a belt. Flutter kicks are another great one to do, So if your kid is constantly ph ucking up at least they will be in great shape when they ship off to juvie.