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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,651
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,651 |
The 100 MPH Goat
Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."
The second hunter says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says, "There's this old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".
So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.
They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.
As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up..
"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"
The old farmer said, "That's impossible.
I had him chained to a transmission!"
/John
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 15,696 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 15,696 Likes: 1 |
NRA Life,Endowment,Patron or Benefactor since '72.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,573
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,573 |
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,289
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,289 |
Golden Oldie, still funny as hell.
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,798
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,798 |
Goodun!
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,202
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,202 |
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Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 17,031 Likes: 6
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 17,031 Likes: 6 |
Heheh....
ps - I got some mileage out of your BoB joke yesterday
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 4,806
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 4,806 |
Heheh....
ps - I got some mileage out of your BoB joke yesterday I told my muther for years I was going to put a m on each cheek.
Be Polite , Be Professional , but have a plan to kill everybody you meet -General James Mattis United States Marine Corps
Nothing is darker than a mau mau's moo moo.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,202
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,202 |
Guy comes out of his house one morning to get the paper, and stops dead in his tracks on his way back to the porch, he is staring into the face of a gorilla, up on his roof staring back at him.
OMG, he runs back into the house and calls 911.
“Operator says, OK, settle down sir, that is an escaped Silverback Gorilla who escaped from the zoo this morning, I have the zoo on the other line, they have somebody rolling as we speak.”
About ten minutes later an old dude in s flatbed with cage, pulls up with a scruffy dog in the front seat. “You the one called about my monkey?”
“Yes, you can’t see him, but he’s on the other side of the roof”.
“No problem, this ain’t the first time Jim-Jim has got out”. With that he pulls a ladder out of the truck.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how are you going to get thst ape down, he’s huge?”
“It’s quite easy actually, you see old Zeek in the front seat there, I know he don’t look like much, but he is highly trained for situations like this. He’ll run around the house and start raising hell at Jim-Jim, and let me tell you, that monkey just hates Zeek. While Zeek has him distracted, I’m climbing up on the roof with this here Louisville Slugger, and I’m gonna clock Jim-Jim in the back of the head, when that ape falls off the roof, well that’s when Zeek really shines. He’ll be on that ape before he hits the ground, right for the balls is what he’s trained to do, Jim-Jim will be frozen in pain, I climb down, give him the needle, and we’re done for the day.
At that the old guy pulls his seat forward and pulls out a 12 gauge, and hands it to the home owner. “Whoa, wait a minute, what is this for, what do you want me to do with this?”
“Well listen now, and this is important! When I smack old Jim-Jim in the head, if he don’t go down, if he instead grabs a hold of me and throws me off the roof..well then, I’m gonna need you to put old Zeek down, and you put him down hard!”
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