Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Off into the unknown

Hope things keep going your way.

Glad you had a safe trip.

You are making some crazy wild assumptions there. And quite frankly your tone is rather condescending.

Granted, doesn't sound like the boy had a traditional upbringing, but it's not like he is moving in with a foster family or strangers. I would think the man has made these decisions with his eyes wide open.


JMO

Clyde

Ptarmigan you're a good man. Never for a minute underestimate how big an impact you can and will have on this young man's life.

When I was a 12, an older cousin and her husband were in a car accident. They had four kids. The two older kids, both girls, were in school and the two boys were with the mom and dad. Their dad was killed in the accident and the mom was hospitalized for six months. The youngest boy, barely a year old, was pretty badly injured in the wreck and spent a month in the hospital. He ended up living with his grandparents closer The older boy (2 1/2) and the two girls came to live with us for almost 7 months. They were 1rst and 3rd grade at the time. We went from 7 around the table at dinner to 10. And it wasn't unusual to have a friend or two over any given night, so 12 at the table wasn't uncommon.

Fast forward 48 years and the two girls, now grown women with kids in college, are sitting with me at the reception after my Dad's funeral and both telling me how much it meant to them that we took them in during that time. We did lots of crying reminiscing about those times. In fact it chokes me up to think about it today. All these years later those seven months left good memories and a life long lasting impression with both the girls.

What you are doing goes well beyond than what my mom and dad did for our cousins. You are doing a great thing. I pray God blesses you richly.

[u][/u]Clyde, how many kids have you taken into your family? The three exchange students we had don’t really count. But the two separate 17 y old high school guys we took in for a year in one case and 18 months in the other come a bit closer, but 17 is a world apart from 11.

Closer in age at the time we’re the four kids my sister adopted from an orphanage in Eastern Europe.

Over teaching prob’ly 3,000+ high school kids over the decades I have seen about every living situation you can imagine.

I think Ptarmigan is doing what we all would like to think we would do under those circumstances, acting in the best interests of a child at considerable time and trouble to himself.

Anything could happen, but to suggest in two months it’ll be back to business as usual is the wildest assumption I’ve seen on this thread.

The boy has lost his mom, she is dead. If she was a decent mother, damn right there’s gonna be a profound grieving process for that kid, in many ways he cannot readily articulate. OTOH If she sucked as a mom, there’s gonna be a whole set of worse developmental issues.

If nothing else, that kid has grown up with the knowledge that his own biological father wanted nothing to do with him, nor is there any mention of anyone else having stepped up into that role. I’ve seen hundreds of kids like that, including my own son who was five when I arrived on the scene, and it almost always has consequences. Now for this kid there’s suddenly a strong and nurturing father figure, but with two boys of his own, all that is gonna have to work it’s way out.

Whatever the circumstance, the boy presumably was an only child, now he ain’t, now he’s an orphan moving in with someone else’s family, well meaning as they are. Now there’s two other boys to deal with as well and they with him. All of this will take time.

Hopefully all of this turns out great for everyone, for three of my sister’s kids and my own son it did, but it ain’t gonna be simple, and however it turns out it’s gonna take at LEAST a year, prob’ly more, until a new “business as usual” begins to appear.

My point was that he will become more like a brother to my two boys (whom he's known his whole life), and with that comes arguing, playing hard, and doing stuff that brothers do. Hence the thunderdome comment. Sorry a couple of you assumed I meant otherwise.

No worries, you’re doing a God’s and honorable thing, and setting an example for all of them 😎

Just a follow up. Our nephew is doing great, no problems at all. It’s kinda strange to me but I think his life before was so out of whack and unstructured that he’s enjoying things now. He has two brothers to play with, a mom/aunt that cares and stays on top of things, and a dad/uncle that’s home every night. He’s part of the family now and is treated as such. He’s got chores, gets reprimanded when called for, praises when he earns it, and gets all the support as if he’s one of ours. He likes to eat wild game and fish, and wants to hunt and go fishing with us. I think the new normal is gonna be ok.

Good on you for making his life what it should have been. Condolences on the passing but thats over and is what it is.

Great to hear and good on you! I think kids know when they have parents that choose to be parents vs. parents that have to be parents. Sounds like the kid actually got a good break in life!

Ain't just fish, that take to structure.

Ptarmigan: Stay strong - hope all goes well in your travels and the settling of the childs situation.
Good luck.
Hold into the wind
VarmintGuy

Boundaries are a kid's friend. Wild nephews absolutely LOVED visiting us, because they knew EXACTLY what they could, and could not, do.
Around here, the limits were constant - not constantly changing, as in their own households.

May God bless all of you.

Ptarmigan, God bless you for caring for a child. That was a terrible journey for the kid but getting into your care probably saved him from a life lacking in accomplishment. Love and boundaries are some of the best gifts a child can ever receive.

Good news. You and your wife are honorable folks.