gave my little second cousin a sandwich for her 9th birthday , the look on her and the rest of the family and friends was priceless . She thanked me and held it up for all to see - told her she was welcome . Later she discovered there was money in the sandwich then danced around with the samich on high .
Wife's office has done a "White Elephant" gift thing for their Christmas Party. 1 yr I boxed up a bottle of "Anti-Monkey-Butt Powder" and that got a LOT of laughs as it made its way around the room. The next yr I wrapped $20 worth of stupid coupons as well as a hidden $20 bill.
I can walk on water.......................but I do stagger a bit on alcohol.
One Christmas I emptied out my Dad's golf bag of all the balls, tee's, gloves, markers etc and then boxed them up and put them under the tree. He was pretty excited until he realized they were his already. Then we got a really good laugh.
"243/85TSX It's as if the HAMMER OF THOR were wielded by CHUCK NORRIS himself, and a roundhouse kick thrown in for good measure."
Must have been a muslim doll- - - - -they blow themselves up, don't they?
We gave a guy at work a "do it yourself" bucket of chicken- - - -a Col. Sanders bucket with straw, 2 eggs, a sack of cracked corn, and a bottle of cooking oil. We included an instruction manual on how to sit on the eggs, hatch the chicks, feed 'em the corn, etc. He was not impressed! Jerry
Was a buddy of mines wife . We bumped heads about most topics , but managed to take things with a smile . She thought I was a redneck from hell , she was the hippy type . One Christmas I bought some road fuzes . A small timer . Some wire . Coiled the wire around a pencil in tight coil, skinned the wire out and tucked the ends into the cover of the timer . Tucked the other ends of the taped road fuzes . Boxed it up with a pretty bow . We were setting around handing out presents , handed hers to her and said , thinking of you this year . When she opened it her mouth dropped with a wide eyed stare , looked up and said , is it real ? With a high pitched voice , even her husband was looking a little unsure . I couldn’t, t take it and cracked up , the look on her face was all star . Still took her a little to settle . She promised a payday , bu never happened . Kenneth
I gave my brother a Chia pet Obama bust for Christmas a few years ago. I thought he was gonna throw up. His wife HATES frogs and toads and whenever we see one at a garden shop, I always take a picture and send it to her on her phone with a note, “we found your Christmas present”.
NRA Life,Endowment,Patron or Benefactor since '72.
have a bud from high school, when he and first gal got hitched, I gave them about a 40 piece white trash set of Correll dishes and a large set of Libbey glassware. Some crap with rose petals on it. Lol
Told him he'd be blessed with a lazy wife and a sink full of dirty ass dishes.
He has been divorce twice and on warhog #3 now.
Every marriage I give him another set of that same cheap shît, no doubt he has cabinets of it.
I go over to his place and see that crap sittin out on his workbench soaking carburetor parts in one of those glasses.
Never did that as I recall. Gramps set the bar too high, there was no point.
Setting: intersection of a pair of 2-lane blacktops w/gas station and a country restaurant back around the late '40s. There had been a minor problem with someone stealing stuff from trucks and cars in the parking lot at night. He set a suitcase down about halfway between the highway and some parked cars, got something to drink with some friends and watched.
A car pulled up after a spell and a fellow of African origins jumped out, snatched up the suitcase. Gramps said they might have got into second gear when the doors flew open and 4 of those fellas jumped out. That was right before the bobcat did the same. He had been napping in the suitcase apparently.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
Years back my buddy and mule deer guide turned 60 during the hunting season, so we gave birthday party with his family. As a joke I got him one of those huge TV remotes that had buttons he could see even with his eys. 'inside joke"
I've posted this before, but once my brother's horrible, mentally-deranged ex-wife told us a heart-felt story about her mother always beating her with a wooden spoon. The next Christmas I gave her a nicely wrapped box with a large bow on it - she was excited to open it and when she did, she found a large wooden spoon. She yelled and then punched me in the arm. My brother and I thought it was hilarious.
l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right. - Del Gue
Spring break freshman year of college - 3 of us took a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota. Picked up a buffalo pie in Custer State Park, took it back to college and presented it (gift wrapped) to a "friend". He was not appreciative.
Someday I hope to be the person my dogs think I am . . . The only true cost of having a dog is its death. Someone once said "a nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves." Shiloh Sharps . . . there is no substitute. NRA Endowment Member