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#14150352 09/24/19
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,096
Clint Offline OP
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Don't know if this has been posted or not.





A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend - he calls home.

"Dad," he says, "You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will
teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!”

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?”

"Just send him over here with $1,000" the young Arkie says, "and I'll get him in the course." So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

"So, how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”

"Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?”

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class.”

The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, this time Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him
think of a really good lie to tell his Dad. She very quickly came up with a plan for him.

So, she has him shoot the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.

"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!”

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was in the living room, kicked
back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does”.

"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so - is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?”

The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying dog before he talks to your Mother!”

"I sure did, Daddy!

"That's my boy!”

The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school, he became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, and you already know what a liar his girlfriend turned out to be!


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That is a true story

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'ceptin' that ole Billy Bob didn't have no real daddy at home.

MM

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L
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That one has been around but I still like it!


lightman
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Probably wasn't the first, nor the last time she told Billybob to shoot somebody who had too much to say.
Jerry


Ignorance can be fixed. Stupid is forever!
IC B2

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lol.


A true sportsman counts his achievements in proportion to the effort involved and fairness of the sport. - S. Pope

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