Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Fat, old fugs could still get laid????

Guys, guys, guys. Just like in real estate, it is location, location, location. Before I was married without a ring on my finger, going over seas you had the pick of the litter. What you guys don't realize is that your US passport and citizenship counts for way more than anything else and women over there want to get over here real badly. That Mrs. title cuts through all the red tape. Closer to home I've seen the same thing up in Canada. Even closer to home down here in our little gated retirement community of 5,000 houses, single women out number men at least three to one. Then too lots of the guys are so feeble that they are out of the running. I walk every day and the fact that I can still see my feet past my belt gets me offered golf cart rides as a starting point rather regularly and Sweetness won't even let me go to the pool by myself..

I heard all you have to have to be king of the nursing home is be able to walk, have your own teeth, and some hair left on your head! holy-hellfire that's going to suck!

Wife is nurse in nursing home. th ed stories sh ed ccx as n tell you...

In the land of the blind, the cyclops shall reign.
Works the same way with the old dudes. The women outlive us by a whole bunch.

Old ...dear Abby i had read...had a guy in his late 60's tellin abby that ...he just wanted to talk and be friends with the ladys in his age group, but when they found his woody still worked , the ladys told each other and they all wanted to ride..... and not yap ! What could abby do to clam the ho's down ! Lol

All you have to do is not be afraid to talk to a nice looking woman. lot of nice looking woman don't get many guys asking them out because the guys are afraid too. All she can do is say no, but if you are polite you will get more yes's than no's.
.

Also you can use a decoy.

Is a 70 year old cooter still good? Need buckets of lube, scrub brush?

Freudian slip?

If I laid anymore pipe I'd need a plumbers license.

i need to give myself a day or two for the nut juice to replenish.

Schit that made me laugh.

Laughing here. That is a good one. Only surprised I did not hear it from my beloved.

I know for a fact, that 66 year old cooter can be very very good indeed! As in incredibly good...

Like Benjamin Franklin said in his "Advice To A Young Man"- - - - - - - - -"They are so grateful!"


Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745).

June 25, 1745
My dear Friend,
I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.
But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
i. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.
4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding2 only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!
Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.

LOL!
Jerry

Got a couple bar hounds after me at work. About 50.
They aint held up well either.

Couple around 40, good looking....think theyre just looking to trade up. Married to dweebs.

But married is married and I take a rather dim view of those who change horses mid stream.

So.....I ignore women pretty much across the board.
Bang one often, the ex. Nothing else worth the risk of more hassle.

But ya never know. One w big boobs and good hunting ground might come along