I went to town yesterday in my brand new cowboy hat, new boots, and a new jacket. Standing in the checkout line behind a pretty darned attractive, and well put together female, when she turns and starts chatting me up.
She tells me, "I am 66 years old, just came from Dr. BP is great, glucose is great, kidneys and liver are good. etc, etc"
I am just nodding and saying Yeah, That's nice, all the while. Heck, if she had kept her mouth shut, she could have easily passed for fifty.
She finished checking out and went out the door. I thought she was gone.
But after I went through the checkout, and proceeded to the doors with my cart, there she was, holding the door open. "Uh, uh, thankyou Ma'am."
Her hands were empty. She had obviously gone to her truck, unloaded her packages, and come back.
I went home and told Momma, I ain't dressing up for town anymore, unless she goes along to protect me.
Just my interesting anecdote for the day. Never underestate the power of a nice hat.
I have a pair of glasses that make me look like a a throwback to the Kennedy era - think Woody Hayes or every guy that worked at NASA in 1963
Its a long way from getting propositioned but it does get me free fountain drinks at convenience stores from older women working behind the counter all the time. Like maybe 6 in the past year.
I figure they either like the glasses or they take pity on me knowing I'm never gonna get laid looking like Woody Hayes - but I'll happily take my free big gulp!
Its the damnedest thing, I'll come out to the car with a schit eating grin on my face and my wife will be like "lemme guess, you didn't have to pay for that coke"
My buddy Bob used to tell me that chicks started going nuts for him after he turned 45.
He looked like a cross between Chester the Molester and Santa Claus.
Shortly after I turned 45, chicks started getting jiggy with me. I had a couple embarrassing situations at work and elsewhere. I finally asked KYHillChick about it. She said that after a certain age, women stop liking bad boys and start getting turned on by stability. Me? I guess I was the most stable guy around.
I don't know if it was the hat, but be happy for whatever it is.
She obviously thought you had money. Don't matter how old and fat you are if you got money.
Come to think of it, she might have looked a bit disappointed when I started tossing my purchases into the back of the beat up old 92 2WD Toyota which I use as a commuter.
My last real experience like this was back before deer season. I was on my way out to deer camp to scout after work. I stopped at the little grocery on the way. The lady that sold me a bucket of fried chicken told me her kids weren't due back home for two hours, and she was going to have the trailer all to herself. I replied that if she was smart, she'd go home and take a nap-- that was what I was planning as soon as I got where I was going.
Haha! Helluva man! I'm a world level bench presser, passable artist, former classical singer, quite a package. Unfortunately I'm also about 3' tall, 3' wide, funny looking, and broke. Oddly enough, I've never been propositioned, except by my present wife. Present, indeed!
She obviously thought you had money. Don't matter how old and fat you are if you got money.
Come to think of it, she might have looked a bit disappointed when I started tossing my purchases into the back of the beat up old 92 2WD Toyota which I use as a commuter.
She obviously thought you had money. Don't matter how old and fat you are if you got money.
Come to think of it, she might have looked a bit disappointed when I started tossing my purchases into the back of the beat up old 92 2WD Toyota which I use as a commuter.
She saw all of those new cloths and saw $$$$$'s.
Yep!
You gots a p---y, you can get money. You have money, you gets the p---yy.
Had a buddy, Roy, who always wanted a pair of fancy cowboy boots. One day he was out and saw just the right pair, so he bought them and wore them home.
He walks in the house and says to his wife "Notice anything different?"
She looks at him and says "Nope, same old Roy."
So, he dances a bit of a jig and says "Notice anything now?"
She says "Nope, Same today as yesterday."
So Roy goes into the bedroom and strips down naked except for his boots. He goes back out and asks his wife again.
She says "Nope. Hangin' down yesterday, hangin' down today."
Roy says "It's lookin' at my new boots!"
His wife says "Shoulda bought a hat, Roy, shoulda bought a hat."
Haha! Helluva man! I'm a world level bench presser, passable artist, former classical singer, quite a package. Unfortunately I'm also about 3' tall, 3' wide, funny looking, and broke. Oddly enough, I've never been propositioned, except by my present wife. Present, indeed!
I went to town yesterday in my brand new cowboy hat, new boots, and a new jacket. Standing in the checkout line behind a pretty darned attractive, and well put together female, when she turns and starts chatting me up.
She tells me, "I am 66 years old, just came from Dr. BP is great, glucose is great, kidneys and liver are good. etc, etc"
I am just nodding and saying Yeah, That's nice, all the while. Heck, if she had kept her mouth shut, she could have easily passed for fifty.
She finished checking out and went out the door. I thought she was gone.
But after I went through the checkout, and proceeded to the doors with my cart, there she was, holding the door open. "Uh, uh, thankyou Ma'am."
Her hands were empty. She had obviously gone to her truck, unloaded her packages, and come back.
I went home and told Momma, I ain't dressing up for town anymore, unless she goes along to protect me.
Just my interesting anecdote for the day. Never underestate the power of a nice hat.
That was my grandma. She said she forgot her glasses at the checkout counter, and was going back in to get them when some old guy coming out gave her the once over. Really made her day
Haha! Helluva man! I'm a world level bench presser, passable artist, former classical singer, quite a package. Unfortunately I'm also about 3' tall, 3' wide, funny looking, and broke. Oddly enough, I've never been propositioned, except by my present wife. Present, indeed!
Me and Fireball. I even repelled 'em in my 20's. Some guys just don't make their little hearts go pitty-pat. When my wife proposed, I couldn't get to the courthouse quick enough.
I live up on top of a mountain in NC. Down at the bottom of my driveway, the guy has a house, and he has a trailer and a yurt in his yard that he rents out. Four years ago, a cute young college gal was living in the yurt. About 22 years old. I had seen her in the driveway several times, and waved at her etc. One day, I met her at the mailbox, she was chatting me up. She asked me if I could go to lunch with her, and she asked what I was doing that night.
I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, this gal was hitting on me. I was 65 years old! Now I am in good shape etc, but old enough to be her grandfather. Also, I live with my girlfriend, and this gal knew it! She didn't even ask me if Shirley was at home. Turned out, Shirley was out of town on that day. No doubt in my mind I could have gotten her up to my place and banged her that night.
Problem would have been a few night later, when the college gal knocked on my door, when Shirley was at home. I could envison a rabbit cooking in a stew pot on my stove. Of course I would have loved to bang this young gal but it was just too weird. Too close to home. I told her I was busy and I went off on my own.
Just my interesting anecdote for the day. Never underestate the power of a nice hat.
Not so fast. A pretty young gal at the bait shop was smiling at my brother and staring. Like you, brother was feeling good. When he got in his truck as saw his reflection in the rearview mirror he saw the two wood ticks stuck to his face.
Woman, 68, and younger lover, 49, arrested after being caught having sex in Florida retirement community’s town square
Margaret Ann Klemm, 68, was wearing no pants and had her shirt pulled down when cops interrupted her.
A fornicating pensioner and her younger lover were arrested after being caught having sex in the usually sedate town square of a Florida retirement community.
Cops found 68-year-old Margaret Ann Klemm, pantless in the pavilion with her shirt pulled down with David Bobilya, 49, whose trousers and underwear were dropped around his ankles.
Police had been called to The Villages – a 50,0000-strong community for the over 55's in Florida's Sunter County - at 10.30 p.m. on June 2.
Officers ordered the pair to get dressed and arrested them for indecent exposure.
Klemm, who resides in The Villages, and Bobilya, of nearby Summerfield, were booked and later released on $1,500 bail. They are set to appear in court on July 2.
Four days before Klemm's arrest she'd pleaded guilty to the reckless driving of a golf cart and sentenced to a year's probation after being arrested for DUI in April.
The Villages describes itself as 'Florida's Friendliest Retirement Hometown'. Its three town squares offer shopping, dining, and theater along with free nightly entertainment that finishes at a tame 9 p.m.
I went to town yesterday in my brand new cowboy hat, new boots, and a new jacket. Standing in the checkout line behind a pretty darned attractive, and well put together female, when she turns and starts chatting me up.
She tells me, "I am 66 years old, just came from Dr. BP is great, glucose is great, kidneys and liver are good. etc, etc"
I am just nodding and saying Yeah, That's nice, all the while. Heck, if she had kept her mouth shut, she could have easily passed for fifty.
She finished checking out and went out the door. I thought she was gone.
But after I went through the checkout, and proceeded to the doors with my cart, there she was, holding the door open. "Uh, uh, thankyou Ma'am."
Her hands were empty. She had obviously gone to her truck, unloaded her packages, and come back.
I went home and told Momma, I ain't dressing up for town anymore, unless she goes along to protect me.
Just my interesting anecdote for the day. Never underestate the power of a nice hat.
LOL, Yessir, you gotta watch that, a lot of lonesome women out there these days, I do like you did, smile and keep moving!
Must be an epidemic. Just today I was in an inservice with a new teacher from another school, first year here, been here since August. Hired from up north, 23 years old.
So I asked how she was adjusting to life away from family, she said she was going crazy with loneliness, not knowing anyone, working long hours coming home to an empty apartment. She said I was the first one to ask her about this. Said the bar scene no longer appealed to her.
Soooo.... I’m prob’ly gonna try and show her around, get her started on breaking ice here in San Antone, she said she would be grateful. No idea if this is gonna work.
Woman, 68, and younger lover, 49, arrested after being caught having sex in Florida retirement community’s town square
Margaret Ann Klemm, 68, was wearing no pants and had her shirt pulled down when cops interrupted her.
A fornicating pensioner and her younger lover were arrested after being caught having sex in the usually sedate town square of a Florida retirement community.
Cops found 68-year-old Margaret Ann Klemm, pantless in the pavilion with her shirt pulled down with David Bobilya, 49, whose trousers and underwear were dropped around his ankles.
Police had been called to The Villages – a 50,0000-strong community for the over 55's in Florida's Sunter County - at 10.30 p.m. on June 2.
Officers ordered the pair to get dressed and arrested them for indecent exposure.
Klemm, who resides in The Villages, and Bobilya, of nearby Summerfield, were booked and later released on $1,500 bail. They are set to appear in court on July 2.
Four days before Klemm's arrest she'd pleaded guilty to the reckless driving of a golf cart and sentenced to a year's probation after being arrested for DUI in April.
The Villages describes itself as 'Florida's Friendliest Retirement Hometown'. Its three town squares offer shopping, dining, and theater along with free nightly entertainment that finishes at a tame 9 p.m.
I'm thinking he must have been doggy f****** her at come and go with her head stuck in the microwave
I went to town yesterday in my brand new cowboy hat, new boots, and a new jacket. Standing in the checkout line behind a pretty darned attractive, and well put together female, when she turns and starts chatting me up.
She tells me, "I am 66 years old, just came from Dr. BP is great, glucose is great, kidneys and liver are good. etc, etc"
I am just nodding and saying Yeah, That's nice, all the while. Heck, if she had kept her mouth shut, she could have easily passed for fifty.
She finished checking out and went out the door. I thought she was gone.
But after I went through the checkout, and proceeded to the doors with my cart, there she was, holding the door open. "Uh, uh, thankyou Ma'am."
Her hands were empty. She had obviously gone to her truck, unloaded her packages, and come back.
I went home and told Momma, I ain't dressing up for town anymore, unless she goes along to protect me.
Just my interesting anecdote for the day. Never underestate the power of a nice hat.
Must be an epidemic. Just today I was in an inservice with a new teacher from another school, first year here, been here since August. Hired from up north, 23 years old.
So I asked how she was adjusting to life away from family, she said she was going crazy with loneliness, not knowing anyone, working long hours coming home to an empty apartment. She said I was the first one to ask her about this. Said the bar scene no longer appealed to her.
Soooo.... I’m prob’ly gonna try and show her around, get her started on breaking ice here in San Antone, she said she would be grateful. No idea if this is gonna work.
Starting to feel like Roger 🙂
Birdie, You're in Texas. Good Stetsons and boots probably grow on trees down there. Buy a set and seal the deal.
Must be an epidemic. Just today I was in an inservice with a new teacher from another school, first year here, been here since August. Hired from up north, 23 years old.
So I asked how she was adjusting to life away from family, she said she was going crazy with loneliness, not knowing anyone, working long hours coming home to an empty apartment. She said I was the first one to ask her about this. Said the bar scene no longer appealed to her.
Soooo.... I’m prob’ly gonna try and show her around, get her started on breaking ice here in San Antone, she said she would be grateful. No idea if this is gonna work.
Starting to feel like Roger 🙂
Birdie, You're in Texas. Good Stetsons and boots probably grow on trees down there. Buy a set and seal the deal.
Must be an epidemic. Just today I was in an inservice with a new teacher from another school, first year here, been here since August. Hired from up north, 23 years old.
So I asked how she was adjusting to life away from family, she said she was going crazy with loneliness, not knowing anyone, working long hours coming home to an empty apartment. She said I was the first one to ask her about this. Said the bar scene no longer appealed to her.
Soooo.... I’m prob’ly gonna try and show her around, get her started on breaking ice here in San Antone, she said she would be grateful. No idea if this is gonna work.
Starting to feel like Roger 🙂
Birdie, You're in Texas. Good Stetsons and boots probably grow on trees down there. Buy a set and seal the deal.
Must be an epidemic. Just today I was in an inservice with a new teacher from another school, first year here, been here since August. Hired from up north, 23 years old.
So I asked how she was adjusting to life away from family, she said she was going crazy with loneliness, not knowing anyone, working long hours coming home to an empty apartment. She said I was the first one to ask her about this. Said the bar scene no longer appealed to her.
Soooo.... I’m prob’ly gonna try and show her around, get her started on breaking ice here in San Antone, she said she would be grateful. No idea if this is gonna work.
Starting to feel like Roger 🙂
Birdie, You're in Texas. Good Stetsons and boots probably grow on trees down there. Buy a set and seal the deal.
He better buy a bed first.
What the hell B? I am sure she has a bed.
Hell, back in the day, I always let the girls take me home. They are a lot more fun when they are playing on the home field.
Must be an epidemic. Just today I was in an inservice with a new teacher from another school, first year here, been here since August. Hired from up north, 23 years old.
So I asked how she was adjusting to life away from family, she said she was going crazy with loneliness, not knowing anyone, working long hours coming home to an empty apartment. She said I was the first one to ask her about this. Said the bar scene no longer appealed to her.
Soooo.... I’m prob’ly gonna try and show her around, get her started on breaking ice here in San Antone, she said she would be grateful. No idea if this is gonna work.
Starting to feel like Roger 🙂
Birdie, You're in Texas. Good Stetsons and boots probably grow on trees down there. Buy a set and seal the deal.
He better buy a bed first.
What the hell B? I am sure she has a bed.
Hell, back in the day, I always let the girls take me home. They are a lot more fun when they are playing on the home field.
Plus ya don’t gotta pick up your dirty laundry and stuff off of the floor first.
I figure it would play out like this.....
Girl invites BW into her little apartment.....
<sounds of heavy breathing, rustling clothes and bedsheets>
<sudden stillness, sound of contented snoring>
Young woman’s voice, sounding shocked......
“WHAT!!!! That’s IT?”
Ain’t no call-your-doctor-if-it-lasts-more-than-four-hours erections around these parts 🙂
Guess it was about four or five years back in the Walmart parking lot. I'd just gotten out of my truck to pick up some groceries when a fifty something woman walked up to me and told me she loved my beard. Well, I thanked her and then she told she would love to feel it between her legs. Told her that if I wasn't married it would have been a pleasure to oblige her, especially if she reciprocated the motion. I hated to disappoint her as she was a pretty good looking old gal. Paul B.
Me and Fireball. I even repelled 'em in my 20's. Some guys just don't make their little hearts go pitty-pat. When my wife proposed, I couldn't get to the courthouse quick enough.
Same here. With a face made for radio, it was a lot of work. Thankfully my wife dated a few pretty boys and saw the light. We really do look like beauty and a beast. At 60 she gets an occasional hits. She doesn't even know it's happening.
Must be an epidemic. Just today I was in an inservice with a new teacher from another school, first year here, been here since August. Hired from up north, 23 years old.
So I asked how she was adjusting to life away from family, she said she was going crazy with loneliness, not knowing anyone, working long hours coming home to an empty apartment. She said I was the first one to ask her about this. Said the bar scene no longer appealed to her.
Soooo.... I’m prob’ly gonna try and show her around, get her started on breaking ice here in San Antone, she said she would be grateful. No idea if this is gonna work.
Starting to feel like Roger 🙂
Birdie, You're in Texas. Good Stetsons and boots probably grow on trees down there. Buy a set and seal the deal.
He better buy a bed first.
Water heater too. Chicks like taking showers after getting railed.
I went to town yesterday in my brand new cowboy hat, new boots, and a new jacket. Standing in the checkout line behind a pretty darned attractive, and well put together female, when she turns and starts chatting me up.
She tells me, "I am 66 years old, just came from Dr. BP is great, glucose is great, kidneys and liver are good. etc, etc"
I am just nodding and saying Yeah, That's nice, all the while. Heck, if she had kept her mouth shut, she could have easily passed for fifty.
She finished checking out and went out the door. I thought she was gone.
But after I went through the checkout, and proceeded to the doors with my cart, there she was, holding the door open. "Uh, uh, thankyou Ma'am."
Her hands were empty. She had obviously gone to her truck, unloaded her packages, and come back.
I went home and told Momma, I ain't dressing up for town anymore, unless she goes along to protect me.
Just my interesting anecdote for the day. Never underestate the power of a nice hat.
Guys, guys, guys. Just like in real estate, it is location, location, location. Before I was married without a ring on my finger, going over seas you had the pick of the litter. What you guys don't realize is that your US passport and citizenship counts for way more than anything else and women over there want to get over here real badly. That Mrs. title cuts through all the red tape. Closer to home I've seen the same thing up in Canada. Even closer to home down here in our little gated retirement community of 5,000 houses, single women out number men at least three to one. Then too lots of the guys are so feeble that they are out of the running. I walk every day and the fact that I can still see my feet past my belt gets me offered golf cart rides as a starting point rather regularly and Sweetness won't even let me go to the pool by myself..
Guys, guys, guys. Just like in real estate, it is location, location, location. Before I was married without a ring on my finger, going over seas you had the pick of the litter. What you guys don't realize is that your US passport and citizenship counts for way more than anything else and women over there want to get over here real badly. That Mrs. title cuts through all the red tape. Closer to home I've seen the same thing up in Canada. Even closer to home down here in our little gated retirement community of 5,000 houses, single women out number men at least three to one. Then too lots of the guys are so feeble that they are out of the running. I walk every day and the fact that I can still see my feet past my belt gets me offered golf cart rides as a starting point rather regularly and Sweetness won't even let me go to the pool by myself..
I heard all you have to have to be king of the nursing home is be able to walk, have your own teeth, and some hair left on your head! holy-hellfire that's going to suck!
Guys, guys, guys. Just like in real estate, it is location, location, location. Before I was married without a ring on my finger, going over seas you had the pick of the litter. What you guys don't realize is that your US passport and citizenship counts for way more than anything else and women over there want to get over here real badly. That Mrs. title cuts through all the red tape. Closer to home I've seen the same thing up in Canada. Even closer to home down here in our little gated retirement community of 5,000 houses, single women out number men at least three to one. Then too lots of the guys are so feeble that they are out of the running. I walk every day and the fact that I can still see my feet past my belt gets me offered golf cart rides as a starting point rather regularly and Sweetness won't even let me go to the pool by myself..
I heard all you have to have to be king of the nursing home is be able to walk, have your own teeth, and some hair left on your head! holy-hellfire that's going to suck!
Wife is nurse in nursing home. th ed stories sh ed ccx as n tell you...
Old ...dear Abby i had read...had a guy in his late 60's tellin abby that ...he just wanted to talk and be friends with the ladys in his age group, but when they found his woody still worked , the ladys told each other and they all wanted to ride..... and not yap ! What could abby do to clam the ho's down ! Lol
All you have to do is not be afraid to talk to a nice looking woman. lot of nice looking woman don't get many guys asking them out because the guys are afraid too. All she can do is say no, but if you are polite you will get more yes's than no's. .
Old ...dear Abby i had read...had a guy in his late 60's tellin abby that ...he just wanted to talk and be friends with the ladys in his age group, but when they found his woody still worked , the ladys told each other and they all wanted to ride..... and not yap ! What could abby do to clam the ho's down ! Lol
Just my interesting anecdote for the day. Never underestate the power of a nice hat.
Not so fast. A pretty young gal at the bait shop was smiling at my brother and staring. Like you, brother was feeling good. When he got in his truck as saw his reflection in the rearview mirror he saw the two wood ticks stuck to his face.
Like Benjamin Franklin said in his "Advice To A Young Man"- - - - - - - - -"They are so grateful!"
Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745).
June 25, 1745 My dear Friend, I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient. But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these: i. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable. 2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman. 3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience. 4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. 5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding2 only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement. 6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy. 7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy. 8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!! Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.
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