Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire IRISH DECLARE WAR ON FRANCE!

The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Sarkozy replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Sarkozy paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Sarkozy asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Sarkozy sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Sarkozy. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.

Excellent!

That cracked me up!!!!!!! Good one!!!!!

Nice. And Paddy's right, too.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...... ! ! ! ! !

Good one, Les....

Not sure this'll work....

http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b...;current=FrenchCanadiansinAfganistan.flv

BWAAAA-HAA....Haaaahaa...haaa.

it worked, I mean the link bit.....

not that torpedo.

wonder if that was a skit, or the real thing.....! ?

GTC

My money is on Paddy unless the French bring in the French Foreign Legion which is made up primarily of former US Marines.

That was a killer.

Not really, the majority of FFL is European, French citizens making up about 30% of it.

In the first gulf war the media interviewed I think a battalion of FFL and 90% of that unit was former Marines. The unit said almost all the FFl's fighting in the war were former Marines. When the FFL has to team up with an allied force it almost always teams up with US Marines. Says a lot for our glorious Marines. The US State Department allows US citizens to keep their citizenship if they join the Canadian Forces, British Forces, and the French Foreign Legion or at least they use to. I would imagine they probably still do.

That was a right proper funny Les.

Sorry Dude, I believe you are mistaken.



During the first Gulf War the FFL was on the left flank, working with the Army.
Look, if 30% of the entire FFL is French and there has been a growing Asian recruitment there just ain�t gonna be a unit 90% anything.
Also I can�t find any history of the FFL and the USMC ever fighting together.

For me the main thrust of the joke was Paddy and his inspired decisions to do this or that, whatever confronted with.

Note how politely his "opponent" replies. Paddy might have well declared war on Norway, for all I care.

enjoyed it too Les, thanks, makes up for some of them groaners. grin

Did I hear someone ask for a groaner?

Ummm, no, you didn't...

Please believe me.

Too Late

I think those French guys shot that rocket at Harps Pub after the first call and lied on all the other calls.