Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Today sucked.

Day 39 of the lockdown.

My son is "graduating" from high school this spring. I use parentheses because school has been shut down since Friday afternoon, March 13 and will be for the rest of the school year. Anyway, he's missing out on things like prom, senior skip day, senior walk, commencement, and a dozen other things. He's bummed about that and probably more so that it ended so abruptly. They literally went home on a Friday and were told they were never coming back. No cleaning out his locker or saying goodbye to his friends, staff, coaches, etc. My wife and I told him that his whole life is ahead of him, that this is just a moment in time. We make sure we talk about it together so he can get it off his chest. Mostly we listen. He gets it, but part of him is still wants/needs that closure.

Then today we notice he's being a bit withdrawn at dinner. Ask him what's up? Seems a buddy he went all the way through school with didn't "get it". Killed himself this afternoon. No idea why. No warning signs. Just gone. So we listen. It's 1:30am. I've been listening all night. He's gone to bed now. I still don't know what to say to him.

Condolences to your son and his friend. I also have a senior right now, a daughter. It hit me about 2 wks ago, my last 3 months of high school were pretty damn awesome. It's a shame what these kid's are going through - friends all dealing with the situation differently, parents who just want them to stay home or at least be very smart if they are going out and stay away from any contact. We're trying to figure out how to resurrect some kind of "graduation" but still struggling with how. Good luck

Honestly, if he's real shaken up by it, I'd recommend a professional to talk to. There are even very well qualified folks available over the phone.

Just keep doing like you're doing...listen, answer what you can and don't push on him too much. We all learn and cope differently.

Thoughts and prayers to all those affected.

Sorry to hear this, CF, but good on you for listening. Psychologically it could be argued that age group is being hit the hardest right now. All that youthful energy shutdown defies nature. There really should be some plan to get the classes of 2020 reunited with their classmates before they part ways.

I think this is good advice. It’s got to be difficult being a senior and having to basically finish out the end of it alone. On top of that how is one supposed to start out in life with everything shut down? I feel really bad for the family that lost their child. I’m sure they aren’t the only ones dealing with something like this right now sadly.

Get him Busy.
See if you can get him interested in contacting every student from their graduating class and make plans for the biggest graduation ceremony ever. Suggest booking a nearby resort for maybe a late August date. Live music, the works, the entire class could spend weeks laying out plans. Maybe they could combine it with a celebration of life for their classmate that has committed suicide. Word of this kids suicide is going to travel like wildfire through out his school, let something like this travel with it, give them something to be looking forward to.
Do your best to turn schit into shinola... Don't hesitate, be quick....

Damn Steve I don't know what to say either, I guess sometimes there really nothing to say.

Take him out fishing or shooting, like Jeff said keep him busy and keep a close eye on him.

I feel for your son! That hits young people hard. My boy lost several in high school due to wrecks. Several after high school. We told him dying is part of living. It’s going to happen throughout his lifetime. It’s part of life a person doesn’t like. You don’t get over it, but you get past it in time.

I can't wrap my head around stuff like this....I couldn't wait to get the fugg out of school. I don't even remember graduation ceremonies, never cared whether I told teachers or coaches good bye etc ..sounds like to need to tell your kid to grow a set of nuts and understand that none of that shidt is going to matter 10 years from now

I hated high school too, when I was in it. But 10 years? Try one year, kids leave high school behind so quick it'll make your head spin.

But while they're in it, especially if their own parents were into the whole high school thing when they were kids too, it can be a big deal for the kid and the rest of their family.

I'm glad he's talking.

Seems like suicide is a rare but inevitable event about like tsunamis and earthquakes. Among my students in thirty years there's been two and one serious attempt.

Works out to be a bit less than one per 1,000 kids. One kid left school during lunch and walked home to do it. Another kid would often spend his lunchtime in my room, one day there was something going on where he couldn't and he walked off campus, purposely OD'd on some pills he had got ahold of and was found unconscious in a field. That kid was saved..

The thing is they might not realize with suicide, it only hurts the ones who loved them, far worse than they know.

CF, Tears shed and prayers lifted for your son, and his friends family. Our school district is also "done" for the year. Have a grandson who is graduating this year and going through the same chaos. Your post hits very close to home.

One glimmer of hope on our side. The Board of Ed has indefinitely postponed the actual graduation activity. The hope is that they can push out the date far enough to at least allow seniors to "walk" before fall classes and activities start up.

But again, prayers lifted for your son and his friend's family.

One bright side to all this is there's gonna be some joyous graduation celebrations later on this year when this thing passes, and to be part of the Class of 2020 all over the land will be something special for at least a half a century.

Damn...
Sorry to hear this. Kids are learning quickly what adversity is. I've got a granddaughter going through the same thing. She's an introvert so school wasn't a big social part of her life. Sound like you're doing a good thing staying involved. Thoughts and prayers my friend...

Good Lord, what a nightmare... So sorry to be reading this today..

This is one of the unintended side effects of legalization of dope. Thank you Gretchen

I hope this doesn't sound indelicate, but, this happens every year about the same time with or without a "shelter in place" lockdown. Tragically, there are young adults so terrified by "What's next" that they end it all. The unknown about what their future holds. The ENORMOUS pressure to succeed whether that's on to more education, joining the military, or "taking some time" to figure out your next step. Maybe the guy's "high school sweetheart" has decided that she's going to take a path through life that doesn't involve him.

Tough deal for your son to miss out on all the "Good Stuff" at the end of a Sr. Yr of High School that a kid spends 12yrs hearing about and preparing for.

Looking for a hint of a silver lining regarding all of the "Closure" type of events they're having to miss, perhaps the will cause your son and his classmates to remain in closer contact for a longer period of time. More frequent class reunions, long-lasting virtual study groups for the kids who end up @ different post-secondary schools, etc.

That’s very sad indeed.

Most people hated high school, but I loved it. It was the best years of my life. I didn’t want to leave!

on reading this thread, i immediately flashed back to 1965 and the love of my life, a ursula andress clone. my prom date.
i was after that contact sport.
interesting enough, she is a facebook friend and still friends after all these years.
i am looking in today's world at a 14year old all tied up in social media, very little social contact with other kids in person.
this generations problem.