Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire All Things Golf

Do you play golf? Or do lay out quietly in the woods all day long, ignoring the fire ants, claymore buried in the sand trap, smoking a cigarette while waiting for golfers to enter the kill zone?

Or did I get the last part backwards?

Indeed, I did. I was most impressed that he seemed to think that having a wife who pays the bills was somehow a negative. My wife pulls down seven figures as I post pictures of soup. I am proud of that.

Matzo Ball?

Buddy who is a member here.

Is he on the PM only plan?

Negatory.

my eye doctor buddy who pretty much grew up with my brothers and me and put himself through school working for me, moved back from PA after he sold his practice, he loves playing golf and bought an extra set of clubs so i could play when i have time. You would never know he is Dr if you met him, shorts t shirt and flip flops.

I get it.

But most golf courses I've been around won't let you tee off if you're dressed like that.

The greatest sportsman of all time and one of the greatest Americans was Ben Hogan. Golf is the greatest game ever.

JoeBob,

Maybe we could be golf buddies.

This is south tx we play at the Navel base, pharohs and run over to beeville to play there once in a while, oh and alice tx on the two there. Its fun and i'm not too bad when i don't drink too many beers.

I don’t know. You can be bad or you can be slow, but you can’t be bad and slow.

"You can suck, but suck fast."

Peasants...

lol we have fun, almost got kicked off north shore in portland one day.

Alright, I golf. Actually golf a lot. Even do it for a living - work in the industry that is. A few tips for the newbie:

Those plaid shorts of yours? Perfect.

Only drink beer while on the course (preferably Bud Light in cans) - clubhouse is for martinis or Manhattan type cocktails.

Golf carts are okay, NEVER carry your clubs or egads, a pull cart. Caddies are even better. $50 minimum tip.

Even if you play with Topflite brand balls or the like; when someone asks you "what are you playing" when you have a lost ball, always say "Pro V1". They'll think you're a baller. Maybe you'll get a free $5 ball out of the deal.

Gimmes are only taken when offered. That being said, offer the first gimme. It'll soften up your playing partner.

Footwedge only when you're positive you can't be seen. Same with taking a piss - make sure you're in the woods out-of-bounds. This will come after multiple Bud Lights and there's never a restroom around when you need it on a golf course. Regarding going #2, plan ahead. Golf towels can be used in a pinch. BTDT.

Only yell FORE when you're reasonably sure someone is going to get hit. Maybe for near misses too. Keep it to a minimum. People will think you're a hack if you do it too much.

Don't throw clubs, yell expletives, or have a general temper tantrum when you hit a bad shot. It's inevitable in golf, even for the best pros. Quiet pain like an Apache being thrown off a cliff also shows you're a baller.

When you shank one 2 fairways over, own it. When you hit it on the green from there people will think you're a baller.

Too much time at the ball washer and people will talk.

Tip when they take the clubs from your car, tip the help that cleans and loads your clubs after the round, and for the love of God - tip the beer cart girl well. She'll come back to see you more often.

You're away, sir.

"Quiet pain like an Apache being thrown off a cliff also shows you're a baller"

Sig line material right there.

What? You gotta be dressed like a coked out Cuban pimp?

Ham and beans.

Only if you're John Daly.