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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 5,846 Likes: 4
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 5,846 Likes: 4 |
Whatever you do, don’t say “call me anytime”.
You call. You text. You go by and check on him. You go with him to the funeral home to pick out the casket. You go and sit with him when the funeral is over and the house is empty. You show him he’s still important to the people in his life. You make sure he’s not alone on her birthday or their wedding day. It doesn’t matter what you say, it matters what you do. As this site doesn’t have a “like” button, I will just reinforce what Dutch said. Plus 1. Dutch said it all.
Chronographs, bore scopes and pattern boards have broke a lot of hearts.
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 25,528 Likes: 4
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 25,528 Likes: 4 |
Whatever you do, don’t say “call me anytime”.
You call. You text. You go by and check on him. You go with him to the funeral home to pick out the casket. You go and sit with him when the funeral is over and the house is empty. You show him he’s still important to the people in his life. You make sure he’s not alone on her birthday or their wedding day. It doesn’t matter what you say, it matters what you do. Great post and advice! Actions speak louder than words.
�Politicians are the lowest form of life on earth. Liberal Democrats are the lowest form of politician.� �General George S. Patton, Jr.
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~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 41,811 Likes: 23
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 41,811 Likes: 23 |
If he's local take him a honey baked spiral-cut ham. Offer to be by his side. Ask him if there's anything he would like for you to do. Offer to help make calls.
Make Gitmo Great Again!!
Who gave the order to stop counting votes in the swing states on the night of November 3/4, 2020?
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 23,567 Likes: 2
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 23,567 Likes: 2 |
ask him what he liked best about her, what made her special to him , share a funny story about her.
have you paid your dues, can you moan the blues, can you bend them guitar strings
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 747
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 747 |
My first wife died 25 years ago, leaving me with 3 young kids. Words are kinda meaningless at that time. Like said above, be there. So many people just came then left, but several true friends stuck close to us. They invited us for dinner, offered child care so I could get a break and were ALWAYS there so I could talk it all out. And it does not end in a week, or a month - these folks stuck with me for the next year. I am eternally grateful for their love and care - do the same for your friend - Don't ask, DO..
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Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 3,432
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 3,432 |
My family and friends were just "there" for me when my first wife passed. It was a blessing I didn't even realize at the time. I've since had the unfortunate pleasure to return the favors a few times. You find out who is a real friend at times like that.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 61,059 Likes: 20
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 61,059 Likes: 20 |
These premises insured by a Sheltie in Training ,--- and Cooey.o
"May the Good Lord take a likin' to you"
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 17,077 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 17,077 Likes: 1 |
Tell him she was a beautiful person, share your favorite stories about her, for a short time bring her back with a picture of words.
Kent
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,436 Likes: 13
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,436 Likes: 13 |
My wife died of cancer Christmas day 2006. There wasn't much any person could that would help but the FACT that she was a devoted christian made all the difference. I know for sure that she's well taken care of.
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell
It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 12,182 Likes: 6
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 12,182 Likes: 6 |
...
Little boy comes home from next door.
Mom asks where he's been.
He says next door.
She said, "you know his wife just died"
boy- "I know"
Mom- What did you say to him.
boy- Nothing. I just cried with him.
... Little boy above got it right...
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 23,319 |
Tell him you love him. If he’s close by go sit w him for a bit and say nothing. Your presence is strong. You never forget who sat w you during this overwhelming grief. God Bless. This is so true in my life. I was 15 when my mother died. I don't remember anything that people said, but I do remember two older high school boys from my church, who were star basketball players in the city, and they came to the front door, side by side, and asked for me and comforted me. They had lost their dad, early in childhood, to an electrocution mishap, so perhaps that was their angle. But I still can picture them standing there at the front door, and how impressed I was that they came over in such a sad time.
"All that the South has ever desired was that the Union, as established by our forefathers, should be preserved, and that the government, as originally organized, should be administered in purity and truth." – Robert E. Lee
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,734
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,734 |
"I am so sorry" is the best I can do. And mean it. This and then be there for them.
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 6,896
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 6,896 |
Friend died on the 22nd. Left a wife and 2 teens. You always think you know what to say or do but dam......
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 17,433
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 17,433 |
My wife died from disease after we had three children and my mother died young when I was 14. These two posts are spot on. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Just be available. Tell him you love him. If he’s close by go sit w him for a bit and say nothing. Your presence is strong. You never forget who sat w you during this overwhelming grief. God Bless. This is so true in my life. I was 15 when my mother died. I don't remember anything that people said, but I do remember two older high school boys from my church, who were star basketball players in the city, and they came to the front door, side by side, and asked for me and comforted me. They had lost their dad, early in childhood, to an electrocution mishap, so perhaps that was their angle. But I still can picture them standing there at the front door, and how impressed I was that they came over in such a sad time.
“Live free or die. Death is not the worst of evils.” - General
John Stark.
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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 41
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 41 |
Lost my wife two years ago to Pancreatic cancer. There's nothing you can say or do to make it easier or better. Just be there if he needs an ear or someone to drink a beer with. My best friend is always there to listen and that helps more than you can ever know. dont treat him any differently. He's still the same guy. Just be his friend like always.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,941 Likes: 4
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,941 Likes: 4 |
A long-time friend of mine came home from work last year to find his wife dead of a heart attack.
I was one of a close circle of friends he called constantly over the following months. Drove out just to spend time with him a number of times. They need to talk, you mostly just listen, not much else you can do.
In this last couple of months he has met a recently widowed lady, they've been spending time, I'm hoping for the best, looks good so far.
"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
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Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 351
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 351 |
I'd tell him you could have mine if you want one.
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