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My daughter's maternal Grandmother passed on Saturday morning after a long battle with cancer. She was diagnosed almost a decade ago with what I believe was non-Hodgkin Lymphoma (I'm not really in the loop since the ex and I divorced). My daughter knew the situation and was prepared. Since she has been with her Mom, I have spoken to her a few times and she said she was ok, but was obviously sad.
I've told my daughter to know that she was loved by her grandmother and that her suffering had ended and she was with G-d. I also told her that I was here for her if she needed me. Unfortunately, (or not), I have been told by the ex to stay away and not attend the funeral and that my daughter would be with them - for how long, I don't know - but I will probably see my daughter mid-week or so. My primary reason for wanting to be there was to comfort my daughter and to pay my respects.
Any advice on what I can tell her to comfort her when next I see her? Thanks.
EDIT: My daughter is a very mature 10 yrs. old.
Last edited by High_Noon; 01/10/21.
l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right. - Del Gue
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sounds like you got it covered.
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l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right. - Del Gue
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Campfire 'Bwana
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I find the truth works best.
You didn't use logic or reason to get into this opinion, I cannot use logic or reason to get you out of it.
You cannot over estimate the unimportance of nearly everything. John Maxwell
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You will do the right thing automatically, for the benefit of your daughter. Although her grandmother will no longer be able to hold her and comfort her, your steady presence, even from afar, will help her understand
We know your heart. She will also. Better days are ahead and grandmother is no longer suffering.
Not all kids get the dad they deserve. This is a nice exception.
Hang in there. Prayers your way, if that helps.
“You must endeavour to enjoy the pleasure of doing good. That is all that makes life valuable.” Robert E. Lee, in a letter to his invalid wife.
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Campfire 'Bwana
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We deaded up some Guinea pigs, parakeets, and a fish this past year and it's all pretty clear.
Fuucking adults that lie to kids should have their asses kicked.
Condolences
"I can't be canceled, because, I don't give a fuuck!" --- Kid Rock 2022
Holocaust Deniers, the ultimate perverted dipchits: Bristoe, TheRealHawkeye, stophel, Ghostinthemachine, anyone else?
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Tell her the truth. Don’t “protect” her, allow her to feel the emotions. Allow her to grieve. Be available to her. Everyone grieves differently but everyone grieves.
Teach her well now because death is an unfortunate and unavoidable consequence of life. The older you get the more you deal with it.
�Politicians are the lowest form of life on earth. Liberal Democrats are the lowest form of politician.� �General George S. Patton, Jr.
--------------------------------------------------------- ~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Campfire 'Bwana
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your ex is a [bleep] for not letting you be there.
God bless Texas----------------------- Old 300 I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull Its not how you pick the booger.. but where you put it !! Roger V Hunter
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Sounds like you got it covered. My daughter was 10 when my sister died from a brain aneurysm and 11 when her maternal grandfather died from kidney disease. She handled it well. Honesty is best, and regardless of your religious beliefs, kids need to believe that they are not completely gone.
------------------------ John
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Thanks fellers, for all your comments.
Yes, honesty and truth are paramount and I have certainly been honest with her. I just spoke to her a few minutes ago and she seems to be handling the situation well.
stx: Yep, the ex is a real piece of work sometimes. I'm much happier now that I'm divorced, much.
BorderDoc: Thanks, Bud.
Aces: Yep, I'm doing my best to teach her well, but I've had to dial back the political commentary, which causes her concern and a bit of angst. I've also had to try and gently counteract some of the stuff her mother teaches her, which I've not had a great deal of luck with, but I am working on it, just a bit at a time so as to not loose her attention. Thanks.
Last edited by High_Noon; 01/10/21.
l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right. - Del Gue
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Campfire Tracker
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Just do it factually and reinforce your beliefs with her. My first wife died from cancer when my daughter was 10. THAT, above all else, was the worst part of her dying. We got though it. It was hardest I think, on my oldest son who was 23 at the time. Good luck and be sure and listen to your daughter and her concerns.
Last edited by Ben_Lurkin; 01/10/21.
Yours in Liberty,
BL
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l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right. - Del Gue
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Campfire Ranger
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Kevin, all you can do is be there for her.
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon. ~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Our purpose in life is to know, love and serve God so that we can be with Him forever in Heaven. God knows when we have done the best we can and are ready to be with Him.
Politics is War by Other Means
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Campfire Kahuna
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in my experience, kids, even pretty young ones, understand the concept of death. No sense in sugar coating it.
Sam......
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Thanks, Mark. & Thanks Tyrone.
I haven't sugar-coated anything, or been dishonest in any way. I haven't seen my daughter since it happened, but I have spoken to her a few times. Like Mark said, at this point, all I can do is wait until she needs me. Hopefully I will see her later this week.
She's a bit concerned about her school work since she is already falling behind. I told her not to worry about her school work and that I would help her catch-up when she was ready. I also apprised her teachers of the situation.
l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right. - Del Gue
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We started our kids and grandkids from day one. Slowly introduced them to killing animals for food, their chickens, 4H pigs and lambs, FFA beef, pets get old and die, relatives and neighbors get old or sick and die. It was never dramatized, it was treated as a step in the cycle of life and accepted as inevitable.
Well this is a fine pickle we're in, should'a listened to Joe McCarthy and George Orwell I guess.
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Just 2 cents: there's a lot of power in admitting to children that there are some things we adults simply don't know.
Good luck, you seem to be on it.
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Only thing I would add is that I would make sure she understands I would have been there had I been able. I think it's important that she understands that.
Don't be the darkness.
America will perish while those who should be standing guard are satisfying their lusts.
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Campfire Sage
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My daughter's maternal Grandmother passed on Saturday morning after a long battle with cancer. She was diagnosed almost a decade ago with what I believe was non-Hodgkin Lymphoma (I'm not really in the loop since the ex and I divorced). My daughter knew the situation and was prepared. Since she has been with her Mom, I have spoken to her a few times and she said she was ok, but was obviously sad.
I've told my daughter to know that she was loved by her grandmother and that her suffering had ended and she was with G-d. I also told her that I was here for her if she needed me. Unfortunately, (or not), I have been told by the ex to stay away and not attend the funeral and that my daughter would be with them - for how long, I don't know - but I will probably see my daughter mid-week or so. My primary reason for wanting to be there was to comfort my daughter and to pay my respects.
Any advice on what I can tell her to comfort her when next I see her? Thanks.
EDIT: My daughter is a very mature 10 yrs. old. People come and people go. Pain is a part of life. Don't mention it when you see her. Let her bring it up.
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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