Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Best Flatulence for a Fight

How it’s created is one thing, but the relevant issue is the manor of deployment. For example, if you start whistling Dixie your opponent will be distracted, perhaps even laugh. That is the moment of opportunity.

I once pinned my 17 yr old at the time stepson on the ground pulled my shorts down enough to fart in his face, lol he's 38 now. I bring it up once in a while, to remind him. doubt I could pull it off now though.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

A few bowls of pinto beans and mustard greens, washed down with a half case of Beast Light.

I took synthetic fiber for a severe case of IBS I was suffering from for a few years. To say it would peel paint would be the understatement of the year. My wife refused to sleep in the same bedroom and opened every window in the house every night I took that nasty stuff. I was almost hallucinating most of the time from the toxic gases so I can't remember for sure if the EPA got involved but I seem to remember a notice being put on my door one day that I couldn't read due to the tears in my eyes and my nose running- but I'm pretty sure it was something akin to a "Scarlett Letter" ...
I was so darned afraid I would be murdered if I cut loose in an elevator full of people I took stairs everywhere as a safety measure, but the carnage just wouldn't stop- anyone who happened to be stair walking for their health soon found out that was a horrible idea if I was in the county... my kids wouldn't come over to introduce their significant others for fear of being social outcasts. I'm pretty sure they moved out when they were 12 or 13 due to my flatulence, I can't recall for sure- those years were pretty foggy for me and everyone around me. Thank the Lord work was slow then and I only contaminated a few jobsites I worked on for short periods so the hazardous waste crews were able to get a handle on the stench before it was declared a Super Fund site.....

I'm pretty sure my gastroenterologist was getting kickbacks from Konsyl, the manufacturer of that evil brew, because he was sorely disappointed to hear I had to stop taking that prescriptive poison or commit suicide to save my family and friends- or what was left of them....

There are days when my wife pisses me off that I miss that ability, but it is rare these days.... kind of like remembering being in the Army in Vietnam or something like that.... but it could be useful in a firefight - especially if I could figure out how to ignite it without blowing myself up....

Bob

I think its Taco Bell also. Because with Taco Bell, everyone knows the time for talk is over. Quite literally, schit is about to get real.

Yep, Toxic Bell and later beer and bar pickled eggs+sausages.

"Don't sniff so hard, there's enough to go around"

There’s nothing like crop dusting in the grocery stores as the opportunity presents itself.