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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052 |
Just gettin stuff off my chest.
I always said no regrets, none. But I lied to myself. Went through a lot of women, way too many to discuss here. Two always on my mind. Always. Never mattered who else I was with.
The first one ill get judged for on here, but is what it is. We were young, I was 17 or so, she was 14. Jen. I actually set her up with my buddy. They went out twice, but he didnt have a car so I ended up picking her up for him. I kicked myself in the ass for setting them up and not going out with her myself. After their second date, I picked her up one day and I always flirt. But I went heavy and she was so horny it wasnt funny. I told her we cant go any further, shes dating my best friend. She said pull over at a phone booth ill break up with him...so I did lol. Ya im an azzhole. So we made plans but....I had girls all over the place and I was trying to run em all. Got busted when one found out I was dating her cousin. So I went back to Jen. But found out she ran away from home. I asked all her family that knew where she was, but nobody would tell me where she was.
Eventually 3 weeks later I found where she was and went to tell her I made some mistakes and wanted her. Man did I ever. I realized she was the one. But when I got there I rang the doorbell and a guy answered. A black dude. He asked who I was looking for and I said I have the wrong place and left. I grew up racist. Try not to be today, but it still comes back. Anyhow......she ended up pregnant and had a baby girl. I ran into her at a bar about 6 years later and she ran up to me and gave me a big hug and I pushed her off and told her to get the phugg away from me. I was hurt inside because I phugged up whorin around instead of sticking with her, I was afraid of what my parents might think. And knew all my buddies would give me schitt about dating her.
Ate at me for years. Unfortunately it still does, especially now since awhile back I was talking to a coworker about women and I brought her name up. Here she married his boy. SOB! He actually asked me not to interfere in her life. She has a good life now. I cant and wont do anything to harm that. Her husband has been with her through the tough times when she had cancer and was a true man being a dad to their kids and her daughter from before him.
But I cant stop thinking of her. So much times gone by I know, but I cant help it. What might have been. Jealousy. The list goes on. Cant tell her how much I miss her and sorry for acting like an azzhole and phugging up. Really do miss her a lot.
*pic removed*
Last edited by pahick; 02/02/21.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 45,375 Likes: 27
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 45,375 Likes: 27 |
Holy fugg dude,
you gonna survive?
Shoulda, coulda, woulda.
No regrets here. Did what I did and so did all of them.
Sheesh
The desert is a true treasure for him who seeks refuge from men and the evil of men. In it is contentment In it is death and all you seek (Quoted from "The Bleeding of the Stone" Ibrahim Al-Koni)
member of the cabal of dysfunctional squirrels?
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,769 Likes: 51
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,769 Likes: 51 |
Hold into the mudshark...
I am MAGA.
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Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 3,790 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 3,790 Likes: 1 |
Yup. Redheads. Never again.
Osky
A woman's heart is the hardest rock the Almighty has put on this earth and I can find no sign on it.
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Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 3,635 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 3,635 Likes: 1 |
First, I totally know what you’re saying. I was all about “bros before hos” and “bro code” until I found out the hard way that I took it way more seriously than others.
Second, your story had me so caught up that I thought there was gonna be a punch line at the end!
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Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 10,217 Likes: 7
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 10,217 Likes: 7 |
Pahick,
Bygones be bygones.
I regret the few really good ones that I walked away from because I was to busy wanting to sleep around. No regrets from the crazies they were easy enough to escape. The ones you walk away from and regret but can’t have back stay in your head until you find another one at least as good. YMMV
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,068
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,068 |
Yup. Redheads. Never again.
Osky Dated a Hispanic gal with fire red hair in HS so I'm pickin' up what you're layin' down.
Mercy ceases to be a virtue when it enables further injustice. -Brent Weeks
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 10,961 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 10,961 Likes: 1 |
Man, I've seen a lot of chit on the 'fire. You missed your shot a few times. Not her fault, let her be.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052 |
2nd one was actually the first. My first. Young dumb and scared. And as I said before, girls all around me. I had a date with a girl named Christina but dumped her ass half hour before the date for Monica. We went out for a bit but again, my dick was doing the thinking and I kept running others. Through the years we kept bumping into each other but she was always with someone else.
16, now 50 and she comes back in my life. I went to have my appendix out in July last year and found out Monica had an aneurysm and was in the hospital too. I never went to see her but made sure through her cousin I was thinking of her. She adds me to fb awhile back. We been talking. Says she has a lot she needs to say to me, and made a lot of mistakes herself. I dont know where shes going with this, but shes with someone now. I dont wanna get involved there either, but if she leaves him Im not sure what ill do. She was my first love. Again, always thought about her and what ifs and all that horse schitt. Between her and Jen I cant help but think of the past and if the past can be my future.
*pic removed*
Last edited by pahick; 02/02/21.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052 |
Dont hold back guys, give me schitt, I deserve it lol
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052 |
Man, I've seen a lot of chit on the 'fire. You missed your shot a few times. Not her fault, let her be. No worries, as I said im not going to phugg up her life. I could, easily. I know me. But I wont.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052 |
........... The ones you walk away from and regret but can’t have back stay in your head until you find another one at least as good. YMMV But do you ever find one least as good. I go through them like water the last few yrs.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,437 Likes: 62
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,437 Likes: 62 |
This is way better than your deer bologna crisis
👍
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052 |
This is way better than your deer bologna crisis
👍 I dont know about that. lol Both are phugged up
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Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 5,333 Likes: 24
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 5,333 Likes: 24 |
Holy crap. That was the sorriest display of wussified sad-sackery I have ever seen. I was only able to read through about the first half of that mess, and I wish I hadn't.
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,769 Likes: 51
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,769 Likes: 51 |
Holy crap. That was the sorriest display of wussified sad-sackery I have ever seen. I was only able to read through about the first half of that mess, and I wish I hadn't. Oh go lay down.
I am MAGA.
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Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 10,217 Likes: 7
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 10,217 Likes: 7 |
........... The ones you walk away from and regret but can’t have back stay in your head until you find another one at least as good. YMMV But do you ever find one least as good. I go through them like water the last few yrs. I’m “the last lemming” not Dr Phil but yes you do. The good ones are few and far between but they’re out there. I’ve had about four really good ones. One ditched me and the other three were my mistake. Learn from it move on and don’t repeat the same mistake next time. That’s hard to do when “you’re young dumb and full of ...” but you figure some things out with time. It’ll hurt until you find the next one
Last edited by TheLastLemming76; 02/02/21.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,052 |
First, I totally know what you’re saying. I was all about “bros before hos” and “bro code” until I found out the hard way that I took it way more seriously than others.
Second, your story had me so caught up that I thought there was gonna be a punch line at the end! The punch line is.....im afraid I never grew up, that ill never stick with one woman. That if I do, ill settle because I phugged up with the ones I should have been with.
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Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 17,138 Likes: 27
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 17,138 Likes: 27 |
I think you should buy a shrimp boat and name it Jennie.
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 863
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 863 |
If you actually care about her you won't wanna mess up her life even though you have the power. You'll be content being thankful she's in a good spot. You wouldn't have worked out anyway. But someday maybe you can be friends.
I'm pretty fortunate to be friends with my high school age fling after going our separate ways 20 years ago. But I wasn't ready for or capable of being just friends until only recently in my life.
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