Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Hey CAT! Aggie joke

A Longhorn, a Baylor Bear, and an Aggie escape from jail one night. As they are running from the police they search for a place to hide. The Aggie spots a barn and says, "Let's hide in there." The other two agree so the dash inside the barn. Once inside, they climb to the loft and search for good hiding spots. Directly in front of them are two barrels and a sack.
The Longhorn looks around thinking, "Where am I going to hide???? Oh, I'll hide there!" and he jumps into the first barrel.

The Bear looks around thinking, "Where am I going to hide???? OH, I'll hide there!" and he jumps into the second barrel.

The Aggie says, "Where should I hide??? Ohhhh...I'll hide there!" and he jumps into the sack.

Soon the cops come around to the barn and one finds his way into the loft. The cop shines a light in the first barrel and says, "Who's in there?" The Longhorn immediately says, "mmmoooooooooo". The cop thinks, "Stupid cows."

Then the cop shines his light in the second barrel. "Who's in there?" he asks. The Bear immediately says, "Baaaaaaaaa". The cop thinks, "Stupid sheep."

Finally, the cop walks over to the sack and says, "Hey, who's in there?" The Aggie ingeniously whispers, "Potatoes...."

Very Very Very good! Laughing my a$$ off <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Please note that I, me, myself did not start this.....however......

Two Aggies go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One Aggie turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other Aggie says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Golly gee, T Lee, you remind me of this oldie that I don't think I've thought-of since the '40s!

A Scandinavian running from a cop runs into a friend's hardware store to hide. His friend tells him to lie in a ball on the floor and throws a tarp over him. Just in the nick of time. The cop runs in.

"Did that big Scandahoovian run in here?"

"No," the owner says.

"What's under that tarp?"

"Harness."

The cop eyes the tarp then kicks it.

"Yingle, yingle."

And this one's true, told by the late character actor Walter Slezak about his son, Leo, when the boy was very young.

A lady caught young Leo and a buddy messing-up her flower bed. She asked Leo his name.

"Johnny Walker," he said. His buddy was goggle-eyed with admiration for Leo's quick thinking and evasive inventiveness.

Then she asked Leo's young buddy his name. But he wasn't as inventive as Leo.

"Leo Slezak," he said.

A fellow walks into a store in Atlanta and says, "Gimme a Moon Pah...an' a Are Say."

The proprietor replies, "So...you're from Alabama, are you?"

The customer is offended. "Now, that ain't fahr. If Ah was t'come in heah an' oahdah some'a dat...ah...lazonnya...would you thank Ah was Ah-tayyun?"

"Well, no," the proprietor says. "It's never come up."

"An' if Ah was t'come in heah and oahdah one'a them...ah...keel-basies...would you thank Ah was Polish?"

"Well, no," the proprietor says. "It's never come up."

The customer pulls himself to his full height and peers down at the proprietor indignantly. "Then how come," he demands, "How come Ah come in heah and oahdah a Moon Pah...an' a Are Say, an' you thank Ah'm from Alabowma?"

"Well," says the proprietor, "in the first place, this is a hardware store."

Barak ~ I understand the joke but none of the content can you please PM me a translation........

Aggie Jim

Two Aggie Fans are driving down the road, when they see a woman in the middle of a field in a row boat. The boat has A&M stickers, a big Aggie flag and the woman is singing and rowing.

The driver says to the other guy, "Look at that. Rowing a boat in the middle of a field. It's people like her that give us Aggie fans a bad name."

The passenger says, "Yeah, I know.....and if I could swim I'd go out there and put a stop to it."

A fellow walks into a store in Atlanta and says, "I say, old chap--would you mind reaching me one of those Moon Pies and a can of Royal Crown cola?"

The proprietor replies, "So...you're from Alabama, are you?"

The customer is offended. "Now look here, sir, that's hardly just. If I had come in and asked you for some lasagna, would you have presumed me to be Italian?"

"Well, no," the proprietor says. "It's never come up."

"Quite so. And if I asked for kielbasa, would you assume I was Polish?"

"Well, no," the proprietor says. "It's never come up."

The customer pulls himself to his full height and peers down at the proprietor indignantly. "Then what the bloody hell would possess you, given my humorless nature, my pinched, constipated-looking face, and my obvious Oxford accent, to presume that I must be an American from Alabama when I enter your silly establishment and request a Moon Pie and an RC?"

"Mmm, I don't really know," says the proprietor. "It's kind of a stupid joke without the Southern accent, isn't it?"

"Twit," mutters the customer, turning on his heel and stalking out.

This may sound like an Aggie joke but it is a true story. I was there and I heard it. TAMU is an entirely different school now than it was when I was there. Then it was all male, mostly agricultural or engineering, and military.

In an effort to make a name as a first rank school the administration set up what they called SCONA which was Student Council on National Affairs. I don't know if they still have it or not. Would get in a bunch of students from different schools and listen to nationally known speakers. Hold round tables and such.

Anyway, a bunch of us were sitting in this conference room and the moderator was some cute little gal from some school, I forget where at this late date, back east. Yale or William & Mary or some such. Scheduled speaker doesn't show up on time so we were just sitting around gassing and putting the make on the various girls in the room since they were such rare commodities.

This little gal moderator makes a statment that she has heard that some awful things went on at A&M.

"Like what?" somebody said.

She said that she had heard that since it was an all male and an agricultural school that beastiality took place.

"What's that?" somebody asked.

She blushed and said "Beastiality is when people have sex with animals. Like cows, horses, sheep, chickens--"

Came a voice from the back of the room, "Ah hell no, not no chickens."


BCR

Yeah, and I wouldn't put a chicken past them either..... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

But spreading the humor a bit.....

Three guys are in a bar: an Aggie, a guy from California,
and a guy from Austin.

They drink and get a little rowdy. Suddenly, completely
without warning, the Aggie grabs a bottle of tequila,
unscrews the top, takes a good swig, and throws the
bottle into the air. He then jerks a Colt 45 pistol out of his pocket and shoots the bottle, spraying tequila all over every-
thing and everybody. The patrons at the bar shout, "Hey
bud, why'd you waste the tequila?"

The Aggie says, "Heck, it's just tequila. Us Aggies go across the border all the time and get all the tequila we want."

Not to be outdone, the Californian whips out a
corkscrew and uncorks a bottle of wine. He pours a
little bit into a glass, swirls it in the glass, sniffs,
comments on the art of insolence of its bouquet, sips,
tosses the bottle in the air, nicks it with a round from
a silly little chrome-plated pistol, and showers a
couple of patrons at the bar with wine.

The patrons, upset by the casual waste and general lack of concern for their safety, express their displeasure and astonishment to which the Californian replies: "Well, I'm from
Napa Valley, and we have more than enough wine where I
come from."

The Austinite, a quiet observer to this point, touches
the crystal hanging from his neck, checks out his tatoo,
flips back his ponytail, puts down his guitar, and
borrows a bottle opener from the bartender. He pops the
top off a bottle of Shiner beer, hammers it back, throws
the empty bottle into the air, pulls a 9mm Beretta,
takes careful aim, shoots both the Californian and the
Aggie, and catches the bottle.

The patrons scream in utter disbelief, "Why'd you do that?

The Austinite replies, "I'm from Austin. We've got too many Aggies and WAY too many Californians, but glass bottles, now those can be recycled."

Barak - thanks for one of the biggest laughs I've had here in a while <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks.

If it had been 1963 and those had been Dallas police, I bet he would have gotten away with it.

This isn't an Aggie Story, but it's a true one, it's an LSU/Rice story.

Back in the late Fifties/early Sixties Paul Ditzel (SP) was the Head Coach at LSU and his defensive unit was called "The Chinese Bandits."

The story goes LSU went to Rice University to play a game and the LSU fans were seated on opposite sides of the field.

One side of the field the LSU Fans would yell: "What do Chinese Bandits do?"

To which the LSU fans on the other side would shout: "$hit Rice!!!"

Damn near started a riot.

A student from Ventriloquism School visits his Aggie student friend for a tour of some of the livestock and the facilities.

The Aggie starts over by the chicken coops and is trying to impress his friend with the quality of the chickens and how well they are taken care of. The guest then says "Hey chickens, how are ya?" and in a slightly muted voice the chickens respond "Pretty good sir". The Aggie shakes his head and says "I was not aware they could talk."

Then they mosey over to the cattle barn and the being very proud of the beef cattle the Aggie shows them off to his friend. Then the guest still wanting to try some ventriloquism says: "Hey cows how's it goin?" and the cows responded: "Moooo not bad at all, hope all is well with you sir". The Aggie, with a puzzled look on his face says: "First the chickens, then the cows. I had no idea they could talk".

They went past the next barn and it was obvious the Aggie was not going to stop and show his friend around that one and when he was asked "Hey, what's in there?" his response was: "Those are sheep, but don't talk to them, they will lie to you!"

I actually WENT to Texas A&M 30+ years ago when the Air Force sent me there for a basic meteorology program.

I stopped in a bookstore with my wife and picked up a paperback on the counter titled "1001 Aggie Jokes". I showed it to my wife and said, "Wow, honey, these guys really have a sense of humor!".

Then I noticed that the book was marked "Volume 32".

That was really funny. Thanks.

I cannot believe somebody actually revived this thread! Simply amazing.

Ok,

Now I'm laughing again at the old jokes, cuz it's been 11 years, and I've slept since then, so they're new to me. Again.

And it is good to see IIFID's post. Again, in probably something like 11 years.

But I'm really laughing at the fact that you went back that far. And said "Thanks". I do believe that is a new record for resurrecting posts here on the fire.