Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire I NEED TO HEAR aFunny Joke Plz share what you know.

I feel we all need a good laugh periodically, so share a good one.

Uncle Jed was walking home from the tavern, through the graveyard, and fell into an open grave in the dark. He couldn't climb the slippery walls, so he waited until he heard Cousin Bubba taking the same shortcut. Jed shouted "Help, I'm freezing down here." Bubba looked down and said "Well, no wonder. You've kicked off all your dirt."

On Bob and Tom this week. The worst joke of the month.

Did I tell about my dream last night? I dreamed I was floating in an ocean of Orange Soda.


It was a FantaSea.

Joe Biden was elected President

No he wasn’t, and that ain’t funny!

But, China joe is certainly a joke.

An oldie for sure:
There’s a story about an Italian boy who gets a S & W .38 for his 18th birthday, from his father. The son hates guns but the father insists that this is a tradition passed on from the Old Country. A few days later the old man notices his son wearing a new watch at the dinner table and asks where it came from. The boy explains he was very upset about the revolver and traded it for the watch. The father says you dumb SOB, somaday after you’re married, you will come home from work and finda you wife ina your bed with another man, whata will you do? Point at your watch and say hey its tima to leave

Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Vern! How ya doing?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before "Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser? "I recognise her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all over him and says... "Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy? Vern's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book..

The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE FRIDAY AT 2.

Two explorers land on what they think is a deserted island. Much to their chagrin, they are caught by the local tribe of canibals and brought before their chief.

The chief says to the two men "By our tribes tradition unless you perform two tasks each we shall eat you. You must first each go out and pick 10 pieces of the fruit of your choice and bring them back to me. You must return within the hour".

One man had spotted a few blueberry bushes when he was being brought to the village. He walked out to it, picked the fruit, and returned to the chief.

The chief accepted the berries, counted them out and said "Very good. For your next task you must shove each berry up your bobbum without laughing. If you can do that, you will be an honorary member of the tribe".

The sailor manages to get four blueberries up there before he cracks up. The chief says to him" Oh to bad for you,now we will eat you! tell me,though, why did you laugh?"

The explorer,still laughing, tells the chief "My buddy is out there picking pineapples!"

What's the difference between Miller Lite and pussy?











Miller Lite stops tasting like piss after about ten minutes.

COVID 19 is like Pasta

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

What's hardest part of a sex change procedure






Sewing in the anchovies

By this point most of the world has been exposed to covid 19, but the people in Wuhan got it right of the bat.

A piece of string walks into a bar and walks up to the counter.

The bartender says, "Sorry mate, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."

Upset, the piece of string walks out the door. A sudden thought strikes him. He ties himself in a knot and messes his hair up.

He walks back into the bar and approaches the counter. The bartender says, "Oi, aren't you that piece of string from before...?"

"No," says the piece of string, "I'm a frayed knot."

Wow we really got some talent on hear. I am starting to feel much better. Lets keep this going all weekend PLZ>
MARTIN

A giant Termite walked into a bar, & ask, Is the bar tender here.

This is a true story, not a joke:

Three cowboys - one from Oklahoma, one from Arkansas, and one from Texas were sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which they are famous. A night of tall tales began. The guy from Louisiana says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is; why, just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, with my bare hands." The guy from Arkansas couldn't stand to be bested. "Why, I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot long rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands and bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp and I'm still here today!" The Texan didn't pay either of his Pards no mind, remaining silent, slowly stirring the coals with his pecker.

A traveling salesman goes up to a farmhouse where a dog and cat are sitting on the front porch. The salesman reaches down and scratches the dog's ears and says, "How are you, fella?" The dog looks at him and says, "I'm fine, how are you?"

The salesman is flabbergasted at seeing a talking dog and asks him to say something else. So the dog replies, "What do you want me to talk about? Weather's been good, we're getting enough rain and the crops are healthy." Then he gets up and says, " Well, it's been nice chatting with you but I hear my master calling", and he trots off.

At that moment the farmer opens his front door and the salesman is still shaken up. He says to the farmer "I can't believe it! You have a talking dog! You should go into show business, you could make a million dollars!"

The farmer just shakes his head and smiles. "Did they pull that joke on you, too? Mister, that dog can't talk. The cat's a ventriloquist..."



L.W.