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Originally Posted by wabigoon
It's restricted where you can spread ashes. Mostly only on privet property.



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I may add that bury me not song to my wishes. The 2 now are Hurt by J Cash and Warren zevons keep me in your heart

For all you may I add my respects and best wishes while you can still know of them

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Originally Posted by Old_Toot
Originally Posted by Happy_Camper
Originally Posted by wabigoon
The Pallbearer thread got me thinking, anything out of the ordinary you'd like?

My wife would like six white horses to carry her.

If you do it with a neighbor's help and leave the mortician out of it, then it won't cost but a small fraction.
Personal or church cemeteries are also a fraction. Use of a backhoe for one hour might save a few thousand dollars.
Cemeteries and funeral parlors are a big scam IMHO.


They’re not a scam to those folks that want it done that way, HC.

Jmo


I guess your right Old Toot. The majority have it done that way up north and don't complain. I think that a lot of southerners use their churches for funerals traditionally.
Sometimes I complain for them because they are charged so much here and seem taken advantage of in their time of weakness when most vulnerable. If there's no insurance, then it's $10-15k for bare bones basic. There's no reason that I can see for them to charge that much. Then property taxes, probate on top of the normal bills. The loved one is very special to the families. It's a tough time regardless. I don't have anything against the choices people make for themselves and family. Most morticians I've met are very polite and responsive.

Take care and have a good week.

HC

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Cremated then snuck into Massengill Disposable Douche factory and added to a batch , so I can be sent back from which I came.


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Not planning on dying any time soon, but you never know.

Throw the funeral at my church, and have someone preach who believes in God. You might think that would be obvious, but the clergy has gotten a little funky lately...

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Originally Posted by Happy_Camper
Originally Posted by wabigoon
The Pallbearer thread got me thinking, anything out of the ordinary you'd like?

My wife would like six white horses to carry her.

If you do it with a neighbor's help and leave the mortician out of it, then it won't cost but a small fraction.
Personal or church cemeteries are also a fraction. Use of a backhoe for one hour might save a few thousand dollars.
Cemeteries and funeral parlors are a big scam IMHO.
Funeral parlors maybe, cemeteries no. Most cemeteries around here charge 600 - 700.00 for a plot and another 700.00 for a full burial {just went through all this burying my mom}. For that 1400.00 total, somebody has to dig your grave, fill and tidy up your gravesite, and maintain it {mow the grass and weed eat around your stone} in perpetuity. How much do you think they should charge for that ?

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Originally Posted by Jim_Conrad
Originally Posted by FatCity67
"Fugging Walter"


Is there a Ralph's nearby?


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Originally Posted by Blackheart
Originally Posted by Happy_Camper
Originally Posted by wabigoon
The Pallbearer thread got me thinking, anything out of the ordinary you'd like?

My wife would like six white horses to carry her.

If you do it with a neighbor's help and leave the mortician out of it, then it won't cost but a small fraction.
Personal or church cemeteries are also a fraction. Use of a backhoe for one hour might save a few thousand dollars.
Cemeteries and funeral parlors are a big scam IMHO.
Funeral parlors maybe, cemeteries no. Most cemeteries around here charge 600 - 700.00 for a plot and another 700.00 for a full burial {just went through all this burying my mom}. For that 1400.00 total, somebody has to dig your grave, fill and tidy up your gravesite, and maintain it {mow the grass and weed eat around your stone} in perpetuity. How much do you think they should charge for that ?

I hear what you are saying. Mowing costs for many years adds up.
I agree, however I buried my Dad and found out that the seller had non disclosed charges. I could have fought it in court, but that's the last stress one pursues when they are going through that mess....unless you happen to be a lawyer maybe.

My buddies' dad, on the other hand, wanted a small family ceremony and burial on the family farm. That's what the fine doctor wanted, so the children did that within 24 hours. It was according to State code and left out the middle men.

It doesn't matter to me. I just want Richard and anyone else here to know that there's options besides what kind of casket to buy.

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What do anti-vaxxers do at Covid-19 funerals?

Stare at the ceiling.

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When my time comes, harvest anything of value to anyone else and cremate the remainder. Have a simple service at our modest church, nothing elaborate, if my wife wishes. It's really no big deal to me. Funerals are for the living that remain. I want my ashes placed in a dutch oven, either one of mine or a new one, and buried next to my father in a rural cemetery in Alabama. Someone with a shovel can do this. Many of my ancestors are buried there since the early 1800s. I do want a stone, but nothing elaborate. Full name (no initials), dates of birth and death, notation of military service, and maybe emblems of two organizations that I am a member of. That's it.

I have told my wife very sincerely not to put up a double stone. She is 10 years younger than I and statistically may well live 20 more years after I die, assuming we both live statistically normal life spans. A lot can happen in 20 years. She may have remarried or may want to be buried near her father in Texas or oldest daughter in Minnesota. I have an aunt who buried her husband and put up a nice double stone for he and her (for later). Years later she decided she wanted to be buried elsewhere (same place as I do, close to her parents and other family). She did not re-marry. There now stands on her husband's grave a stone with hearts and some reference to undying love - that I don't doubt is true - but she is buried three states away. By her birth date on the stone, it is obvious that she is now dead, but not buried there. It looks kinda sad now and will, theoretically, forever.


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My only absolute request is that there be no proselytizing at my funeral. Doubtful there will be a clergyman speaking at my funeral but if there is, when he runs out of things to say about me it is time to STFU and sit down.


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I want one of those cool blinged out mausoleum’s like the Mexican cartel guys with a water slide, disco ball, and some naked gargoyles.

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"There will be no illegal dying around here"... Judge Roy Bean.

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I remember saying that to Pops as they were rolling him in for his quadruple by pass surgery back in 1991...
Mom didn't think it was funny.


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Originally Posted by Happy_Camper
Originally Posted by Old_Toot
Originally Posted by Happy_Camper
Originally Posted by wabigoon
The Pallbearer thread got me thinking, anything out of the ordinary you'd like?

My wife would like six white horses to carry her.

If you do it with a neighbor's help and leave the mortician out of it, then it won't cost but a small fraction.
Personal or church cemeteries are also a fraction. Use of a backhoe for one hour might save a few thousand dollars.
Cemeteries and funeral parlors are a big scam IMHO.


They’re not a scam to those folks that want it done that way, HC.

Jmo


I guess your right Old Toot. The majority have it done that way up north and don't complain. I think that a lot of southerners use their churches for funerals traditionally.
Sometimes I complain for them because they are charged so much here and seem taken advantage of in their time of weakness when most vulnerable. If there's no insurance, then it's $10-15k for bare bones basic. There's no reason that I can see for them to charge that much. Then property taxes, probate on top of the normal bills. The loved one is very special to the families. It's a tough time regardless. I don't have anything against the choices people make for themselves and family. Most morticians I've met are very polite and responsive.

Take care and have a good week.

HC



Nowadays although they still typically retain and operate under their original names many funeral homes AND cemeteries are actually owned in part or entirely by corporations.

RE: Corporate Growth in Funeral Home Industry

Quote

SUMMARY

Chain funeral home corporations have existed since the 1960s; only in recent years has their presence grown substantially. Three large corporations now own 15% of the 23,000 homes in the funeral home industry. Service Corporation International (SCI), based in Houston, is the largest of the three, followed by Loewen Group Inc., based in Vancouver, Canada and Philadelphia, and Stewart Enterprises Inc., based in New Orleans. Approximately 1 of every 5 funerals in the U.S. is conducted by one of the three.

In 1996, the average cost of a single funeral service was $4,782. This is based on information acquired from General Price Lists. A General Price List is a list of funeral services and items that each funeral home provides. Under the Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule, adopted in 1984, funeral homes are required to provide consumers with these lists.

The corporate acquisition cost for an actual funeral home depends on many factors, such as size and location.

CORPORATE GROWTH

Chain funeral homes do not change the name after buyout. As a result, presence of chains in the industry is somewhat veiled. In addition to purchasing funeral homes, chains are also buying cemeteries and crematoriums. In some areas, a chain may own all or the majority of death care services which gives the chain the advantage of “clustering” their services. “Clustering” maximizes operational efficiency since limousine services, embalming services, support staff, and building expenses may be shared.

Shareholder gains appear to be climbing alongside profit gains. Stocks appear attractive. There is a fund, the Pauze Tombstone Fund, which is comprised solely of funeral home industry stocks. Table 1 provides a snapshot look at the five largest funeral home industry companies.

Source: annual reports.

A feel for the significant growth in the industry can be attained from looking at the annual reports. Statements include:

● “From the end of 1992 through 1996, our annual revenues grew from $772.5 million to . . . 2.3 billion, and the number of SCI funeral service locations, cemeteries, and crematoria grew from 925 to 3,377” (SCI, 1996 Annual Report).

● “In the 10 years since its initial public offering, the company has grown from owning 47 funeral homes and one cemetery to its position today of owning and operating over 1,000 funeral homes, 500 cemeteries and 50 crematoria. The Company has experienced a compounded growth rate over nine years of 49% in revenues and 43% in earnings before interest and taxes” (Loewen Group Inc., 1996 Annual Report).

● Earnings per common share rose from $1.11 in 1996 to $1.46 in 1997 (Stewart Enterprise Inc., 1997 Annual Report).

● “The company's net revenues increased by 43.7% to $92.0 million from $64.0 million in 1995” (Equity Corp. Intl., 1996 Annual Report).

● “The company formed in 1991 in order to take advantage of the attractive fundamentals and significant opportunities to consolidate the death care industry . . . The Company significantly expanded its corporate development and acquisition activities in 1996 and early 1997” (Carriage Services Inc., 1996 Annual Report).



Global Funeral Industry Overview and Analysis

Quote

United States Deathcare Market

In the US there are approximately 19,136 funeral homes, 1155 crematories and 115,000 cemeteries. 89.2% of funeral homes in the US are privately owned, mainly by families. Since the late 1960s consolidation has occurred in the industry. Large publicly listed companies (the main company being Service Corporation International) acquired small family owned funerals across the country in a debt fueled acquisition binge. The rationale for this consolidation was that through centralising back-office operations, costs could be reduced through economies of scale.

The benefits of economies of scale for these large public companies are debatable, with some people arguing that the benefits of centralised back office activities are more than offset by the increased administrative expenses required to run a large company. This is emphasised by the bankruptcy of Loewen Group International, a large multinational funeral services company (see In re Loewn Group International, Incorporated, 99-1244 (Bankr. Del. Filed June 1, 1999)).

To retain customer loyalty the acquired companies continued operating under their previous brand names developed by the previous family owners. The previous family owners often stay on as managers of the home. The large publicly listed funeral companies only own approximately 1000 cemeteries across the U.S.

There are only three publicly listed funeral service companies: Service Corporation International, Stonemor Partners L.P. and Carriage Services Inc.. Service Corporation is by far the largest funeral company in the United States with an estimated 15-16% market share by revenue and 10.8% market share by number of funeral homes. This indicates that Service Corporation charges more per funeral home than the wider industry.

The two smaller publicly listed funeral service companies are Stonemor Partners L.P. and Carriage Services Inc.. Both companies each have an estimated 1-2% market share by revenue and 1% market share by number of funeral homes. Stonemor focuses on cremation whereas Carriage Services focuses on burial. Park Lawn Corporation, listed on the Toronto Stock Exchange also has a substantial presence in the United States. Most of Park Lawn’s funeral homes are located in locales with limited presence from any of the three publicly listed U.S companies. The top six operators (public and private) control 25-30% of the funeral services market.

At the same time as when funeral homes ownership was consolidating, casket manufacturing was undergoing its own consolidation phase. In the first half of the 20th century most caskets were made of cardboard or wood. Consumer tastes changed in the latter half of the century resulting in metal caskets becoming the casket of choice. The majority of caskets manufactured in the United States are now metal. Due to the capital intensive nature of metal casket manufacturing relative to wood or cardboard manufacturing smaller firms exited the industry. 60% of all caskets manufactured in the United States are made by just two companies...


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Originally Posted by EdM
Originally Posted by cra1948
I told my wife to just keep her mouth shut and have the boys bury me in the back yard so the pension and social security direct deposits just keep coming in. She probably won't she's honest like that.


Fixed.


Just for the record, Ed, that was intended as a joke and even if it weren’t, yes, she’s way too honest for that.


Mathew 22: 37-39



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I’m not all to concerned with the situation.


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Ancient Order of the 1895 Winchester

"Come, shall we go and kill us venison?
And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,
Being native burghers of this desert city,
Should in their own confines with forked heads
Have their round haunches gored."

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I was US Navy for 22 years. Cremate and bury me at sea.
I did scores of those ceremonies on several of my ships.
They can put their dress blues or whites for me one time.
I fired a lot of blanks out of M-14's for those shindigs.


Don't fire unless fired upon. But if they want a war let it begin here.

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Originally Posted by Old_Toot

They’re not a scam to those folks that want it done that way, HC.

Jmo

Most of them are still a scam.

When Mother in Law died, we started calling around for cremation costs. Everybody who advertised in the yellow pages, or had a website was priced well over $3000 upwards toward $4000. For nothing more than a cremation and a cardboard box to hold the ashes.

Then someone mentioned a little place across town which we had not seen advertised. $800 for the exact same service. The people were extremely professional, courteous and caring.

Funeral homes take extreme advantage of the bereaved who often do not feel comfortable price shopping for a funeral.

Do your heirs a favor, do the shopping now. Prepay, and leave instructions.

Dad did this. He thought his funeral was all paid for. But the funeral home had some surprises for me. I had to add another 30% to what was in the savings account to cover Dad's very minimalist wishes. Not a big deal to me. Just possibly useful information to some.

Momma and I have both told the kids, burn the empty shell which remains. We will never have any more use of it, or know or care what happened to it.

Flush the ashes down the toilet. Preferably a toilet on a city sewer system, rather than a septic tank.


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Originally Posted by Idaho_Shooter
Originally Posted by Old_Toot

They’re not a scam to those folks that want it done that way, HC.

Jmo

Most of them are still a scam.

When Mother in Law died, we started calling around for cremation costs. Everybody who advertised in the yellow pages, or had a website was priced well over $3000 upwards toward $4000. For nothing more than a cremation and a cardboard box to hold the ashes.

Then someone mentioned a little place across town which we had not seen advertised. $800 for the exact same service. The people were extremely professional, courteous and caring.

Funeral homes take extreme advantage of the bereaved who often do not feel comfortable price shopping for a funeral.

Do your heirs a favor, do the shopping now. Prepay, and leave instructions.

Dad did this. He thought his funeral was all paid for. But the funeral home had some surprises for me. I had to add another 30% to what was in the savings account to cover Dad's very minimalist wishes. Not a big deal to me. Just possibly useful information to some.

Momma and I have both told the kids, burn the empty shell which remains. We will never have any more use of it, or know or care what happened to it.

Flush the ashes down the toilet. Preferably a toilet on a city sewer system, rather than a septic tank.





I prefer to be cremated, being a plumber, take me to down town Houston to one of the skyscrapers I worked on. Flush the ashes down the drain.😆😆😆😊

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Got to get ready to go to that woman’s funeral in a little while. This is gonna be hard on wifey

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