Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire My father died.

My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father.

Yet two days ago I went to see him in hospice. I saw him there a fragment of the man I knew. Gray, delusional, breathing his last.

I was touched deeply seeing that. I was compelled to do the one thing I could do. To give him the same grace of forgiveness God gave me.

It does not change the past, truth is still truth, but I think it might change the future.

I think that you did well. Let the past lie in peace.

The right thing to do. You will be better for it.

If you truly forgave him you'd not be on here announcing that he lived his life as an ass hole.

But, condolences and whatever.

I’m glad you could. I could never forgive my stepfather. It was the happiest day of my life when I found out he died. That doesn’t say much for me, but it is how I feel.

Sorry to hear of this.. May he RIP...

My experences are very similiar to the OP's. I never did anything right. Lots of verbal abuse. He did everything he could to belittle me and financially injure me. He is nearly 92 and it was and is very difficult to call him on fathers day. He was never a father to me after I reached my teen years. Had to work along side of him in the family buisness for 50 years. I visit him twice a year for my own mental heath, not his. Before I go for a visit I try to remember the few good times.

Prayers for you Sir !

You are very wise to forgive him.

You benefit much, much more from that than he did.

Hate is a cancer that eats anyone who harbors it.

Just close that book and open another.

Gee... I think the Flave has a point?

I disagree.

A&F had said what an [bleep] he was on here previously.

Today he announced that his dad died and he forgave him before he did.

I don't have a problem with that.

I don't see the problem with it either. Hope it gave you some peace, takes a lot to forgive someone like that.

sounds like you did the right thing
sorry for your loss

Most people become like their parents, good or bad. Maybe a look at his life might provide some understanding.

Along with forgiveness, the best outcome of these cases is when the children recognize their parents’ failings and resolve never to inflict those traumas on their own kids.

Prob’ly that’s where you’ve been at for a long time now.

I'm glad you came to terms. Hopefully you can get on with your life and not think about the past as much.

My 2 sisters and I took dad out for his dry aged Filet and giant shrimp cocktail last night. As I sat there listening to the conversations and laughter I actually took a minute to thank God for blessing my life with the family I have. I know that we’re totally imperfect and we get on each other’s nerves from time to time but at the end of the day we love each completely and we all pitch in to lift each other up. I couldn’t help but say an extra prayer of thanks for allowing me the chance to get to know my dad man to man rather than “just” as father and son.

I couldn’t imagine how different I and my siblings would be without the love, guidance and examples set by mom and dad.

A&F, You are obviously the bigger man and the fact that you forgave him is all the proof one needs. I’m sorry that you didn’t have a good father but he must’ve done something right for you to have turned into the man you are….maybe in spite of him or maybe because of him, only you can answer that.

You have my condolences and prayers for peace and comfort.

That goes both ways.

Dad is a drunk and has two sons. And all the baggage that goes with it..

One grows up to be a fine man and good father. The other grows up to be just like dear 'ol dad... Drunkard and abusive.


When asked if their childhood full of drunken abuse made them what they are today, they both answered "Yes. How could it not?"

You make a choice everyday what to do with the rest of your life.

May he rest, and may you have peace.

This ^^^^^