|
|
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 17,821
Campfire Ranger
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 17,821 |
[align:right][/align] Forgiveness doesn't mean you turn into a door mat
It means it's over and time to move on, just like another has stated.
Can move on without or maybe limit interaction w those that hurt you.
Hate is a poison.
Easy concept to understand.
Harder to employ. I understand not being driven by hate, but I never understood why one has to forgive for that to occur. I guess we are all different. Maybe some overlap in either method.
Last edited by hookeye; 06/21/22.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14,070
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14,070 |
My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father.
Yet two days ago I went to see him in hospice. I saw him there a fragment of the man I knew. Gray, delusional, breathing his last.
I was touched deeply seeing that. I was compelled to do the one thing I could do. To give him the same grace of forgiveness God gave me.
It does not change the past, truth is still truth, but I think it might change the future. You did the right thing. May he rest in peace.
Biden's most truthful quote ever came during his first press conference, 03/25/21.
Drum roll please...... "I don't know, to be clear." and THAT is one promise he's kept!!!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 23,036 Likes: 6
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 23,036 Likes: 6 |
Armednfree: So sorry to hear of your loss.
May your father rest in peace now.
Hold into the wind
VarmintGuy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 3,412
Campfire Tracker
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 3,412 |
No disrespect to your thread is intended by this question, but what does it mean to forgive someone? It means you no longer have excuses. That's a hard one. Took me about a year to shed the self pity and "how could I be so naive" and get back to life after the disastrous second marriage. Still working on that, I hated that woman for a long time until I realized how much it affected my life going forward. IMO this is between you and God. Saying you forgive them to some people will only enable them to feel better about screwing you over and the next soul they get their hooks into. Good thread, thank you A&F.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 20,824
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 20,824 |
Forgiveness may take more time than thought.
Conscious decision to pursue such is at least a step in the right direction.
Get there eventually, hopefully.
Loss is still a loss and can muddy things up for a bit. You are assuming it's a loss. Thing is if you disown someone over simple disagreement or hurt feelings, yes you had better learn to forgive as that makes you a bad and judgmental person. There is another level. When you deal with narcissist's, sociopaths, psychopaths and to a lesser extent drug addicts and alcoholic's you have to move on. More than likely you have already forgiven them a thousand times or more! They see forgiveness as weakness and will use it to prey on you even more. So the do gooders that tell you that you need to forgive are full of schit. More than likely they have done wrong and wish forgiveness and are projecting their guilt upon you. Disposing of toxic people is not a loss... it's survival
Originally Posted by Judman
PS, if you think Trump is “good” you’re way stupider than I thought! Haha
Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 4,364
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 4,364 |
Armednfree,
May the peace of the lord be with you and your dad......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 26,529 Likes: 3
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 26,529 Likes: 3 |
Good that you made peace with your father AF.
I truly cannot imagine growing up without my parents loving hands to help guide me.
FJB & FJT
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 975
Campfire Regular
|
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 975 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 4,312 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 4,312 Likes: 1 |
Sorry to hear about your dad.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 24,448 Likes: 10
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 24,448 Likes: 10 |
Forgiveness may take more time than thought.
Conscious decision to pursue such is at least a step in the right direction.
Get there eventually, hopefully.
Loss is still a loss and can muddy things up for a bit. You are assuming it's a loss. Thing is if you disown someone over simple disagreement or hurt feelings, yes you had better learn to forgive as that makes you a bad and judgmental person. There is another level. When you deal with narcissist's, sociopaths, psychopaths and to a lesser extent drug addicts and alcoholic's you have to move on. More than likely you have already forgiven them a thousand times or more! They see forgiveness as weakness and will use it to prey on you even more. So the do gooders that tell you that you need to forgive are full of schit. More than likely they have done wrong and wish forgiveness and are projecting their guilt upon you. Disposing of toxic people is not a loss... it's survival Right on, forgiving them is what they want and YES they see it as, they did wrong and you let them slide, over & over in life. Myself I have rarely apologized to anyone in my life, never needed to because I don't do people wrong and then expect them to forgive me, < pretty simple really. People who do and say schitty stuff > to hell with them, let them rot. If no-one let them slide they might see the error of their ways then try and change but they get forgiven and roll-on with their BS.
PRESIDENT TRUMP 2024/2028 !!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Bristoe
The people wringing their hands over Trump's rhetoric don't know what time it is in America.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 18,497
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 18,497 |
Maybe it’s helpful (for some) to see forgiveness, at its core, as simply canceling a debt. If someone has egregiously wronged you, and you have those resultant feelings that many have described here, it’s because they’ve taken something from you. They may have taken your childhood, or your marriage, your reputation, or any other season of your life, or maybe even your opportunity to regularly tuck your kids into bed at night.
The hurt and anger is because someone took something away from you. Sometimes it’s hard to put into words. Sometimes you don’t understand the debt that the offender owes to you. But hate and/or bitterness does corrode the vessel in which it’s contained.
Deciding that person doesn’t owe you anymore doesn’t empower them. It empowers you.
Every day on this side of the ground is a win.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 20,824
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 20,824 |
Maybe it’s helpful (for some) to see forgiveness, at its core, as simply canceling a debt. If someone has egregiously wronged you, and you have those resultant feelings that many have described here, it’s because they’ve taken something from you. They may have taken your childhood, or your marriage, your reputation, or any other season of your life, or maybe even your opportunity to regularly tuck your kids into bed at night.
The hurt and anger is because someone took something away from you. Sometimes it’s hard to put into words. Sometimes you don’t understand the debt that the offender owes to you. But hate and/or bitterness does corrode the vessel in which it’s contained.
Deciding that person doesn’t owe you anymore doesn’t empower them. It empowers you. You are assuming they are consumed by hate.... maybe it's just indifference.
Originally Posted by Judman
PS, if you think Trump is “good” you’re way stupider than I thought! Haha
Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,479
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,479 |
You are very wise to forgive him.
You benefit much, much more from that than he did.
Hate is a cancer that eats anyone who harbors it.
Just close that book and open another. This right here. Don't let him or your memory of him negatively effect you now.
Life can be rough on us dreamers.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2022
Posts: 346
Campfire Member
|
|
Campfire Member
Joined: Jun 2022
Posts: 346 |
Maybe it’s helpful (for some) to see forgiveness, at its core, as simply canceling a debt. If someone has egregiously wronged you, and you have those resultant feelings that many have described here, it’s because they’ve taken something from you. They may have taken your childhood, or your marriage, your reputation, or any other season of your life, or maybe even your opportunity to regularly tuck your kids into bed at night.
The hurt and anger is because someone took something away from you. Sometimes it’s hard to put into words. Sometimes you don’t understand the debt that the offender owes to you. But hate and/or bitterness does corrode the vessel in which it’s contained.
Deciding that person doesn’t owe you anymore doesn’t empower them. It empowers you. You are assuming they are consumed by hate.... maybe it's just indifference. Exactly my take on it. I think forgiveness is overrated.
|
|
|
|
|
397 members (21, 160user, 22250rem, 01Foreman400, 257 mag, 2500HD, 35 invisible),
2,248
guests, and
1,049
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums81
Topics1,192,508
Posts18,490,691
Members73,972
| |
Most Online11,491
Jul 7th, 2023
|
|
|
|
