Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Things people say--?

"You'd f*** a pile of rocks if you thought there was a rattlesnake under it."


In response to "let me know if you need anything,"
I'll holler like a mashed cat!

"You make more noise than a skeleton j**king off inside of a trash can"

Winter is coming, it will be colder than a witch's tit on a well digger's ass.

Do you want a cookie?
No, I want two cookies, and a glass of milk

She could eat peas out of a bottle.

She could eat corn through a picket fence.

Tighter than Dick's hatband

That'll happen when pigs fly.

Dumber than a box of rocks.

Trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Slicker than snot on a brass doorknob.

He could weld a monkey's ass to a brass doorknob.

its for the children

we're all in this together

"your mouth goes like a whippoorwills ass"

I could schit through a screen door and never touch a wire.

I have the back-door trots.

She's so ugly she would have to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.

Also so ugly she would make a freight train take a dirt road.

That would make a lamb fight the butcher.

You're so ugly your mama had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dogs to play with you.

You've got a beer income and a champagne appetite.

Irregardless.

"harder than a honeymoon pecker"

I'd rather do naked pushups in a dark room full of mouse traps.

I'd rather sandpaper a wildcat's ass in my underwear.

(I can't imagine trying to get my underwear on a wildcat to try that.)

I wouldn’t have that (insert name of worthless car, tool, etc. here…) up my azz if I had room for a sawmill.

A friend of my dad's would say "you got to learn to pee in tall grass if you're going to run with the big dogs".

He's as thick as a house brick and twice as dense.

It is better to be thought of as a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

When you walk out of Top's office you're going to have shoe polish on your breath