Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire I have a new dad.

I'm not in the same boat as you, but I sorta semi understand what you mean.


I grew up in an awesome nuclear family. Mom was stay at home and looked after me and my brother, dad spent 22 years in the military. Us kids were raised to work hard, and help deserving folks where we could.

My pseudo father and mother in law have a similar upbringing. Both came from a normal nuclear family, but the pseudo father in law came from a ROUGH (read that to mean VERY VERY BAD circumstances) place in his home state. He worked to obtain the status he has now a well renowned neurosurgeon.

He and his wife are wonderful people. They are very outgoing and loving, and gift us unprompted at times. I don't know what to do with that. I'm grateful, but I feel like I'm undeserving because I didn't work for it. I've never had a handout, and the things they do for us feel like handouts.

It's a weird feeling, and I feel like I am ungrateful because I didn't earn what they sometimes do for us. It makes them happy to do things for and with us, but knowing that, it is still a strange thing to me.

Probably not a great comfort to you, but that's all I've got. In the spirit of the Fire, GFY and know that you aren't alone.

I'm just not used to it. My own dad never gave me anything that he didn't sell later without even telling me. I knew growing up that my stuff was really his. The new dad is actually texting me pictures of deer and guns he just bought. It just feels weird to suddenly have a dad at 54 years old. It bothers me to find out how fugged up my childhood really was.

Fuqk the old man, he can piss off and die. don't compare the new guy to him, put that aside and embrace a new friendship.

You are coming across as a bum.

You sound like the grand kids, never a thank you for the shotguns, ammunition, knives, axes, hunting equipment. However they never give them back.

Just changed our will to have all my gun sold. Ammunition to go with the guns. A few of the grand kids, were wanting to know why they would not be getting any. I just let them know that the buyers would like them and take care of them.

My nieces and nephews were a better fit for the rifles that i gave them while they were growing up.

It sounds like it you did not earn it you do not appreciate it or take care of it.

Maybe you're like the kid he never had and is making up for lost time, if it makes him happy just roll with it.

My old man died 2016 him and moms parted ways when I was 17 he was still my dad I miss him every day

Get to know your real dad and fugk the fake one you only live once

Open up and enjoy it. He wants you to.

If you love and trust your mother, then trust her decisions.

Can't fault him for your father's sins. Maybe sit down and tell him what you feel and why you're apprehensive when it comes to him. It'll air it all out and bring you closer no doubt. I guarantee he picks up on it and without explanation he's left to guess. If you know he's a good guy then you have nothing to worry about. You'll wish you had done it years ago

To be truthful, it sounds like more than your childhood is fugged up. You’re both men. He’s not your new dad. He’s your mom’s new husband. How hard it it to just be nice? You’ve got no reason not to be. Who doesn’t have room for another friend?

Edited to add: If the relationship falls apart because one of you is a jerk, make sure it’s not you. 😳

Lots of older people love giving stuff away, particularly when they think the recipient will enjoy it.

Speaking of that, you ain't no spring chicken and I've been admiring that 16 gauge double barrel. . .

That's real close to how I feel about it. I mean I like the guy and I'm always nice, but when he just pulls out a new Case knife or something and tells me it's mine, it's a strange feeling, not really knowing him very well. I want to be grateful, but I keep looking for the catch and it's that feeling that I don't like. I mean I don't feel that way when my kids or wife does something for me. I can rationalize that the way my own father treated me as a kid has made me suspicious, but I would have never before said I was a suspicious or untrusting person.

Can't fault him for your father's sins. Maybe sit down and tell him what you feel and why you're apprehensive when it comes to him. It'll air it all out and bring you closer no doubt. I guarantee he picks up on it and without explanation he's left to guess. If you know he's a good guy then you have nothing to worry about. You'll wish you had done it years ago