Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Living in the Shadow of your father.

"Living in the shadow of?", No ... "Standing on the shoulders of?", Definitely ...

Everything I learned from my Dad, hard work, provide for your family, set your family up for success, I learned from his actions. Not his words. Best I can recall, he never sat me down "for a talk". But, I learned. And I am trying to apply the same to my family today...

Spot on, my Dad would not have wanted me to live in his shadow.

In the shadow of? No. Dad was a real one-off.

He came back from Korea after WWII and started up in the family building trade. He and Pops didn't get along, and he broke off on his own. By 26, he had built enough multi-family buildings he could retire. That was just before he met my mom. That's a couple of years before I came along. That's when he started making serious money-- investments. I never knew my father to work much past Noon. The neighbors all thought he was unemployed. The truth is, he'd piddle around the apartments in the morning and then come home, watch the stock ticker and maybe call in a trade before the closing bell.

The crazy thing was, it was all seat-of-the-pants. He just had this knack. He honestly tried to teach me, but he couldn't. He could teach me apartment maintenance, I started in the business at 14. He couldn't teach me his gift for investments.

When we moved to a new neighborhood back in '69, it was in the middle of a new subdivision. Dad used to take off and go watch the construction. The family building the houses and our family went way back. Dad was friends with the builders. Dad just hung out on the construction site. The two brothers used to rely on Dad for advice. One day they offered him a job. He turned them down. He was just there for entertainment.

After he sold the buildings after I finished college, he spent his days working in the yard. He was a brooding type. He did his heavy thinking while raking leaves or digging holes. You'd see him out with a spade shovel, kind of muttering to himself, and then he'd go inside and watch the stock ticker for a bit, and possibly call the broker.

You'd think this guy was some off-the-wall Rainman character, but actually, he knew everyone in town. He was a great conversationalist. He used to hang with the local TV celebrities and spent quite a bit of time in New York hanging with the TV crowd there.

My dad died when I was 30 years old.
He was 58.
I often think about him.
His intentions were good, but he would literally die if he tried to hang with me.
Seriously.
He was a 3 pack of Marlboro a day guy that lived through a horrible marriage with 4 kids
He wasn't a hunter or fisherman.
He was pretty much who I didn't want to be when I grew up.

And I wasnt.

My Dad was a WW2 and Korea veteran. Went to law school after and was well regarded in his profession. Cared more about helping people than making money. He always did something that was community sevice.
I have never tried to be him. I am successful in what I do and well thought of in my community and work. He wasn't really happy. I am.

Dad did two tours in Vietnam on the ground and then flew Cobras until he had 24 years in. Retired and went into law enforcement where he did 21 years before retiring for good. But you would never know it. Never talked about his time in the Army. No “I love me” wall. No Vietnam Veteran hat. His LE career was just a job and it never defined him, so he never talked about that either.

During all of that time, he built the house I grew up in. He did everything DIY before DIY was a thing. He cut firewood to keep us warm and teach me to be involved in helping. He raised livestock to keep us fed. Taught me to fix stuff, fish, hunt, shoot, and treat people with respect.

I moved out when I was grown and he got a heat pump, started buying meat at Cash’n’Carry, and hires out projects. I offer to help and he tells me to go fuss over my wife and kids instead.

One thing he never did was try to steer me in any one way or another. He was always interested in hearing what I wanted to do and encourages me to this day. With a thick dose of sarcasm.

I am grateful to my father for the opportunities he provided for me to advance in life. My father's experiences and memories are all wonderful.

No one can be a man unless his father has died....Freud

My father was a good man but I feel that I have surpassed him in raising my own sons. But that is what he wanted.

I have never felt obligated to prove anything to anyone except for myself. I make my own path and take advice very slightly. I teach my sons to do the same. Otherwise, my achievements will be their ceiling. Screw that.

Most people are lazy and underachievers. Do your own thing and be great.