Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire I’ll stick with my dinosaur burner.

Oh dear what can the matter be. Al Gore's locked in the EV.

From an anonymous State Trooper in Wisconsin.

I get sent to a motorist assist the other day, at the start of our snowstorm. Tesla on the side of the interstate, dead battery.
I arrive on scene and the occupants have the right-front door open. They tell me that they can’t open any other doors, because the battery is dead. Sure enough. Can’t open the doors from inside or outside.

Unfortunately the handy Honda generator was safely locked in the trunk and being battery powered couldn’t be opened!!!!!!!
The driver also can’t get her license out of the glove box where she put it during their trip. Because the glovebox opens electronically… and the battery is dead. You actually have to use the computer in the center of the dash to open the glovebox.

They said they had 10% battery left, should’ve been plenty to get from that location to the charging station nearby. Then all of a sudden the whole car shut
So now I have to find them a tow. No one wants to tow EV’s. Finally found one company to do it. 8 mile trip to the charging station in Tomah. $1,000! Normal vehicle on the flatbed would’ve been $150.


So now we’re at the Tesla superchargers. Guess what. Can’t open the charging port because the battery is dead!!! The ports open, you guessed it, electronically!!!

And we also can’t open the doors now (had to close the one open door when it was loaded onto the wrecker). The owners manual is in the on board computer, but the battery is dead.
I got the occupants to a store where they’d be warm while calling the rental company to figure out how to charge this thing, so I’m not sure of the outcome.



I had to leave for a crash report.




I’ll stick with my dinosaur burner.

Elon is only building the damn things because he knows he can separate a bunch of guilt-ridden dumbschitts from their money. I hope they froze in the dark.

Holy cow!
Meanwhile back at the plant, the engineers are bragging that you can control everything in this car with the center display. Pretty neat, huh?

In the old days we would just put it in 2nd, push hard, drop the clutch and presto.

No tow truck required.

Good story!

Nice addition to the fiction section.

That makes me smile !

And they have been "improving" the things ever since!

I dunno if OP is true, but it made me smile! Debbie Downer lives!

I just read Dodge is out with their electric Ram (no innuendo, please). Supposed to have a 500 mile range with the optional "better" battery. That still leaves me 50 miles short of Fairbanks from here, even without a 3,000 lb camper on , and 3K# worth of boat, motor trailer, and gear towed behind.

Caveat- I do have to top off in Anchorage or Wasilla (usually W) with the 3500 Ram to be comfortable, and I don't use the Cummins on a winter run - for that we use the gas Expedition and stay in a hotel. If the diesel is a bit problematic at 50 below, I think I'll pass on EV, charging stations or not.

........ Did that many times back in the day. Or a dead battery meant that I just pulled my jumper cables out from behind the seat of my truck. They ought to have a provision on E.V.'s for some sort of jumper cable setup. Then at least you could open a door or the glove box.

EV's are just the ticket for road hunters. Sneak right up on critters.

They do, which is how you can know the story is made up.

All Teslas have both a high voltage battery and a 12v one. Both would have to be dead for any of the hardships in the story to be true, but even if they were there is a port on the front bumper where 12v power can be connected to energize that system. That runs the door releases, trunk, charge port, screen, lighting, etc.

They also have manual releases for all the doors, trunk, and charge port.

I don’t doubt that everyone in Wisconsin is too fat to bend over to reach that port, so the author didn’t know about it.

^ True that! ^ ..... The fuel injection system was a quantum leap forward over the naturally aspirated carburetor, esp in the colder climes we see here.

So why does it cost so much to tow an EV? Was that part true?

I doubt it. I had a $1,000 (998) tow bill a few years ago, but that was from The Minto Lake junction back into Fairbanks- 119 miles. Exploded the manual shift clutch. Dodge Ram 3500 club cab with a Lance camper on it. He winched it right up onto the tilt bed of the tow truck and we were off!

I doubt any EV would be a problem. Of course, the DA could have been being "punished".....

They have to be flat towed so that can add to the expense.

They also have to be put into tow mode to be safely pulled on the flatbed, and that couldn’t be done if both batteries were dead. Even in Wisconsin I’d think a tow driver would know how to energize it so he could set tow mode.

If true it's hilarious irony but I remain skeptical that the doors will not open if a dead battery. Seems like the NTSB (or what ever) would never approve of such a safety hazard!