Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire The Official JOHN BURNS Thread

1" thick steel plate can get pretty heavy. As the captain of a rapid tactical response team, that protects an undisclosable retail location, I can't have something heavy slowing me down. We maintain a rigorous workout routine, but I'll need to draw the line on that one. Maybe I should explain why I'm so concerned. I don't move quite as fast as I did in my younger days. And in case I have a repeat of an earlier incident, I'd like a little more protection. This happened early in my career.

I was working for a smaller security organization, me were regularly rotated between 4 stations. A local Food City supermarket was designated Sector Alpha-Niner, the Jiffy Lube was Bravo-Lima-Fiver, the local $1 movie theater was Golf-16 and finally, the most coveted assignment, the local mall or Zebra-1.Back then, before the corporate sponsorship, our gear was severely limited due to out of pocket expenses. I was armed with a Glock17 and a Rem870. On this fateful day my team was assigned to patrol Sector Zebra-1, the mall. It was an uneventful day, until the unthinkable happened…It was about 8:45PM, and the mall was closing and nearly empty. Me and my ’shadow’ were sweeping quadrant 069E, the mall arcade, a known hotspot for Gangs and assorted thugs. The arcade was located at the far east end of the mall, next to the movie theater and the Orange Julius.

I smelled trouble, and couldn’t spot any movement from the arcade, which was unusual due to the presence of a new Mortal Compact arcade game. Those Asians Gangs love Mortal Combat. I went to “condition red,” and discretely unholstered my Glock17. I motioned to my partner to sweep right to flank the arcade, but he was already in motion sensing the trouble in my facial expression. My partner drew his S&W 1006 and went prone behind a potted palm tree. I crept towards the arcade, when the power went out. It was an ambush! I could still see relatively well due to the full moon, shining through the building’s skylights. A perp popped up from behind the Orange Julius counter with a full auto AK sporting a 75rd drum. He opened up in the direction of my partner, meanwhile two perps popped up from behind the skeeball machine with sawed off 12 gauges. Another two perps appeared on the upper level and brought down hell-fire on us from above. They both seemed to have bolt actions of some sort, it was difficult to tell. I dove under a metal bench, and lined my sights on the AK bandit. A double-tap to the chest, and a quick follow-up to the head brought him down like a sack of potatoes. My partner had been hit in the leg by some buckshot but he kept fighting like a champ, he took out one of the shotgunners with the Smith. I then started unloading into the glass partition that surrounded the upper level. When the sniper ran for cover I drew a bead on him, adjusted for distance, and dropped him. His partner, wanting no more, started to run. I did a quick tactical reload, grabbed the 870P from the harness on my back, and did some rolls over to the movie theater and back flipped over the concession counter while unloading the 5 rounds of 000 into the skeeball machine. It was a site to behold. I tossed the empty 870, and realized I couldn’t hit the remaining perp due to my the poor angle of attack. I had to act fast or my partner was done for. I leap over the counter again, and low crawled towards the arcade unseen. I crept behind the Mrs. PacMan game, and when I heard the perp reload, jumped up with my trusty K-Bar, and threw it into the perp’s arm, pinning him against the wall behind him.

When the smoke cleared, we had three dead perps, and two very scared prisoners. My partner suffered a flesh wound but he would live to fight another day. The company goons came in fast by chopper, to cover up the situation. The remaining perps were flown to a company detention center, and we never found out what happened to them, or why they made such a vicious attack. The remaining customers and employees were paid off to cover their emotional distress and to keep their mouths shut. Later an unknown shadowy figure in an expensive black suit (obviously a high ranking company guy) came to me as I was reloading my Rem870 (in case of a second wave of attackers) and offered me the job opportunity of a lifetime…

I don't know why..
But the 5 rds of 000 buck into the skeeball machine has me LMFAO!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️👊🏻🤦‍♂️🤣🤣🤣

1" thick steel plate can get pretty heavy. As the captain of a rapid tactical response team, that protects an undisclosable retail location, I can't have something heavy slowing me down. We maintain a rigorous workout routine, but I'll need to draw the line on that one. Maybe I should explain why I'm so concerned. I don't move quite as fast as I did in my younger days. And in case I have a repeat of an earlier incident, I'd like a little more protection. This happened early in my career.

I was working for a smaller security organization, me were regularly rotated between 4 stations. A local Food City supermarket was designated Sector Alpha-Niner, the Jiffy Lube was Bravo-Lima-Fiver, the local $1 movie theater was Golf-16 and finally, the most coveted assignment, the local mall or Zebra-1.Back then, before the corporate sponsorship, our gear was severely limited due to out of pocket expenses. I was armed with a Glock17 and a Rem870. On this fateful day my team was assigned to patrol Sector Zebra-1, the mall. It was an uneventful day, until the unthinkable happened…It was about 8:45PM, and the mall was closing and nearly empty. Me and my ’shadow’ were sweeping quadrant 069E, the mall arcade, a known hotspot for Gangs and assorted thugs. The arcade was located at the far east end of the mall, next to the movie theater and the Orange Julius.

I smelled trouble, and couldn’t spot any movement from the arcade, which was unusual due to the presence of a new Mortal Compact arcade game. Those Asians Gangs love Mortal Combat. I went to “condition red,” and discretely unholstered my Glock17. I motioned to my partner to sweep right to flank the arcade, but he was already in motion sensing the trouble in my facial expression. My partner drew his S&W 1006 and went prone behind a potted palm tree. I crept towards the arcade, when the power went out. It was an ambush! I could still see relatively well due to the full moon, shining through the building’s skylights. A perp popped up from behind the Orange Julius counter with a full auto AK sporting a 75rd drum. He opened up in the direction of my partner, meanwhile two perps popped up from behind the skeeball machine with sawed off 12 gauges. Another two perps appeared on the upper level and brought down hell-fire on us from above. They both seemed to have bolt actions of some sort, it was difficult to tell. I dove under a metal bench, and lined my sights on the AK bandit. A double-tap to the chest, and a quick follow-up to the head brought him down like a sack of potatoes. My partner had been hit in the leg by some buckshot but he kept fighting like a champ, he took out one of the shotgunners with the Smith. I then started unloading into the glass partition that surrounded the upper level. When the sniper ran for cover I drew a bead on him, adjusted for distance, and dropped him. His partner, wanting no more, started to run. I did a quick tactical reload, grabbed the 870P from the harness on my back, and did some rolls over to the movie theater and back flipped over the concession counter while unloading the 5 rounds of 000 into the skeeball machine. It was a site to behold. I tossed the empty 870, and realized I couldn’t hit the remaining perp due to my the poor angle of attack. I had to act fast or my partner was done for. I leap over the counter again, and low crawled towards the arcade unseen. I crept behind the Mrs. PacMan game, and when I heard the perp reload, jumped up with my trusty K-Bar, and threw it into the perp’s arm, pinning him against the wall behind him.

When the smoke cleared, we had three dead perps, and two very scared prisoners. My partner suffered a flesh wound but he would live to fight another day. The company goons came in fast by chopper, to cover up the situation. The remaining perps were flown to a company detention center, and we never found out what happened to them, or why they made such a vicious attack. The remaining customers and employees were paid off to cover their emotional distress and to keep their mouths shut. Later an unknown shadowy figure in an expensive black suit (obviously a high ranking company guy) came to me as I was reloading my Rem870 (in case of a second wave of attackers) and offered me the job opportunity of a lifetime…

1" thick steel plate can get pretty heavy. As the captain of a rapid tactical response team, that protects an undisclosable retail location, I can't have something heavy slowing me down. We maintain a rigorous workout routine, but I'll need to draw the line on that one. Maybe I should explain why I'm so concerned. I don't move quite as fast as I did in my younger days. And in case I have a repeat of an earlier incident, I'd like a little more protection. This happened early in my career.

I was working for a smaller security organization, me were regularly rotated between 4 stations. A local Food City supermarket was designated Sector Alpha-Niner, the Jiffy Lube was Bravo-Lima-Fiver, the local $1 movie theater was Golf-16 and finally, the most coveted assignment, the local mall or Zebra-1.Back then, before the corporate sponsorship, our gear was severely limited due to out of pocket expenses. I was armed with a Glock17 and a Rem870. On this fateful day my team was assigned to patrol Sector Zebra-1, the mall. It was an uneventful day, until the unthinkable happened…It was about 8:45PM, and the mall was closing and nearly empty. Me and my ’shadow’ were sweeping quadrant 069E, the mall arcade, a known hotspot for Gangs and assorted thugs. The arcade was located at the far east end of the mall, next to the movie theater and the Orange Julius.

I smelled trouble, and couldn’t spot any movement from the arcade, which was unusual due to the presence of a new Mortal Compact arcade game. Those Asians Gangs love Mortal Combat. I went to “condition red,” and discretely unholstered my Glock17. I motioned to my partner to sweep right to flank the arcade, but he was already in motion sensing the trouble in my facial expression. My partner drew his S&W 1006 and went prone behind a potted palm tree. I crept towards the arcade, when the power went out. It was an ambush! I could still see relatively well due to the full moon, shining through the building’s skylights. A perp popped up from behind the Orange Julius counter with a full auto AK sporting a 75rd drum. He opened up in the direction of my partner, meanwhile two perps popped up from behind the skeeball machine with sawed off 12 gauges. Another two perps appeared on the upper level and brought down hell-fire on us from above. They both seemed to have bolt actions of some sort, it was difficult to tell. I dove under a metal bench, and lined my sights on the AK bandit. A double-tap to the chest, and a quick follow-up to the head brought him down like a sack of potatoes. My partner had been hit in the leg by some buckshot but he kept fighting like a champ, he took out one of the shotgunners with the Smith. I then started unloading into the glass partition that surrounded the upper level. When the sniper ran for cover I drew a bead on him, adjusted for distance, and dropped him. His partner, wanting no more, started to run. I did a quick tactical reload, grabbed the 870P from the harness on my back, and did some rolls over to the movie theater and back flipped over the concession counter while unloading the 5 rounds of 000 into the skeeball machine. It was a site to behold. I tossed the empty 870, and realized I couldn’t hit the remaining perp due to my the poor angle of attack. I had to act fast or my partner was done for. I leap over the counter again, and low crawled towards the arcade unseen. I crept behind the Mrs. PacMan game, and when I heard the perp reload, jumped up with my trusty K-Bar, and threw it into the perp’s arm, pinning him against the wall behind him.

When the smoke cleared, we had three dead perps, and two very scared prisoners. My partner suffered a flesh wound but he would live to fight another day. The company goons came in fast by chopper, to cover up the situation. The remaining perps were flown to a company detention center, and we never found out what happened to them, or why they made such a vicious attack. The remaining customers and employees were paid off to cover their emotional distress and to keep their mouths shut. Later an unknown shadowy figure in an expensive black suit (obviously a high ranking company guy) came to me as I was reloading my Rem870 (in case of a second wave of attackers) and offered me the job opportunity of a lifetime…

1" thick steel plate can get pretty heavy. As the captain of a rapid tactical response team, that protects an undisclosable retail location, I can't have something heavy slowing me down. We maintain a rigorous workout routine, but I'll need to draw the line on that one. Maybe I should explain why I'm so concerned. I don't move quite as fast as I did in my younger days. And in case I have a repeat of an earlier incident, I'd like a little more protection. This happened early in my career.

I was working for a smaller security organization, me were regularly rotated between 4 stations. A local Food City supermarket was designated Sector Alpha-Niner, the Jiffy Lube was Bravo-Lima-Fiver, the local $1 movie theater was Golf-16 and finally, the most coveted assignment, the local mall or Zebra-1.Back then, before the corporate sponsorship, our gear was severely limited due to out of pocket expenses. I was armed with a Glock17 and a Rem870. On this fateful day my team was assigned to patrol Sector Zebra-1, the mall. It was an uneventful day, until the unthinkable happened…It was about 8:45PM, and the mall was closing and nearly empty. Me and my ’shadow’ were sweeping quadrant 069E, the mall arcade, a known hotspot for Gangs and assorted thugs. The arcade was located at the far east end of the mall, next to the movie theater and the Orange Julius.

I smelled trouble, and couldn’t spot any movement from the arcade, which was unusual due to the presence of a new Mortal Compact arcade game. Those Asians Gangs love Mortal Combat. I went to “condition red,” and discretely unholstered my Glock17. I motioned to my partner to sweep right to flank the arcade, but he was already in motion sensing the trouble in my facial expression. My partner drew his S&W 1006 and went prone behind a potted palm tree. I crept towards the arcade, when the power went out. It was an ambush! I could still see relatively well due to the full moon, shining through the building’s skylights. A perp popped up from behind the Orange Julius counter with a full auto AK sporting a 75rd drum. He opened up in the direction of my partner, meanwhile two perps popped up from behind the skeeball machine with sawed off 12 gauges. Another two perps appeared on the upper level and brought down hell-fire on us from above. They both seemed to have bolt actions of some sort, it was difficult to tell. I dove under a metal bench, and lined my sights on the AK bandit. A double-tap to the chest, and a quick follow-up to the head brought him down like a sack of potatoes. My partner had been hit in the leg by some buckshot but he kept fighting like a champ, he took out one of the shotgunners with the Smith. I then started unloading into the glass partition that surrounded the upper level. When the sniper ran for cover I drew a bead on him, adjusted for distance, and dropped him. His partner, wanting no more, started to run. I did a quick tactical reload, grabbed the 870P from the harness on my back, and did some rolls over to the movie theater and back flipped over the concession counter while unloading the 5 rounds of 000 into the skeeball machine. It was a site to behold. I tossed the empty 870, and realized I couldn’t hit the remaining perp due to my the poor angle of attack. I had to act fast or my partner was done for. I leap over the counter again, and low crawled towards the arcade unseen. I crept behind the Mrs. PacMan game, and when I heard the perp reload, jumped up with my trusty K-Bar, and threw it into the perp’s arm, pinning him against the wall behind him.

When the smoke cleared, we had three dead perps, and two very scared prisoners. My partner suffered a flesh wound but he would live to fight another day. The company goons came in fast by chopper, to cover up the situation. The remaining perps were flown to a company detention center, and we never found out what happened to them, or why they made such a vicious attack. The remaining customers and employees were paid off to cover their emotional distress and to keep their mouths shut. Later an unknown shadowy figure in an expensive black suit (obviously a high ranking company guy) came to me as I was reloading my Rem870 (in case of a second wave of attackers) and offered me the job opportunity of a lifetime…

Gecko,
You may be my new hero.

As I've said many times, Burns was a piss poor ambassador for WA.

Thinking the owners finally put a muzzle on him.

If sysop put tater on timeout, OK, but if somebody jacked with him income-wise ta stop postin, that sucks.

As I've said many times, Burns was a piss poor ambassador for WA.

Thinking the owners finally put a muzzle on him.

If sysop put tater on timeout, OK, but if somebody jacked with him income-wise ta stop postin, that sucks.

Do heroes bitch about the weight of 1" plates?
Sheesh man, somebody getting soft. 😂