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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 17,144 Likes: 2
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 17,144 Likes: 2 |
Why did the chicken cross the road?
DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE : I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
If something on the internet makes you angry the odds are you're being manipulated
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21,814 Likes: 2
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21,814 Likes: 2 |
"The Church can and should help modern society by tirelessly insisting that the work of women in the home be recognized and respected by all in its irreplaceable value." Apostolic Exhortation On The Family, Pope John Paul II
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,760
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,760 |
War Damn Eagle!
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,773
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,773 |
To show the possum it could be done.
Not many problems you can't fix
With a 1911 and a 30-06
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,930 Likes: 11
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,930 Likes: 11 |
I always taught my 5th graders to respond to "Why did the chicken cross the road?" with "Because his red suspenders were too tight."
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,107
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,107 |
As usual Sharpton got it wrong. There are black chickens.
Side note to Al: "Al, you've got to make those black chickens more delicious, instead of working to force-feed them to folks!!!"
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,452
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,452 |
Is that akin to "Did you walk to work or pack your lunch?" 
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
Robert E. Howard
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,327
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,327 |
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,278
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,278 |
Haul ass, haul ass! - Pappy
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
PETA � to escape the atrocities of Colonel Sanders
atheists � I've never seen it, therefore it's never happened (none of the chickens that I've seen in the market cooler can walk or fly anyway).
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 17
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 17 |
Chicken?
What Chicken?
Care for a drumstick?
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 12,664
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 12,664 |
To show the stupid possum it can be done.
The Karma bus always has an empty seat when it comes around.- High Brass
There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 191
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 191 |
Johnny Cochran: We deny that the chicken crossed the road and intend to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the chicken was no where near the road at the time of the alleged crossing.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 22,690
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 22,690 |
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,930 Likes: 11
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,930 Likes: 11 |
Is that akin to "Did you walk to work or pack your lunch?" Actually, the intent was to cover both of the two original jokes from the Book of Genesis (the chicken crossing the road and the fireman wearing red suspenders) in one fell swoop and get them over with.  In response to your question, Do telephone poles have kick starts? Best, John
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269 |
Is it farther to New York than by bus????
Be afraid,be VERY VERY afraid ad triarios redisse My Buddy eh76 speaks authentic Frontier Gibberish! ![[Linked Image]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y222/EvilTwinMar/Sabretooth-1.jpg)
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