Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire I'm in a place that I've never been in before

My Dad died today. It all has hit home. My parents and all my grandparents are dead now. Everybody that raised me. Everybody I looked to for help and answers. All gone. I'm 49 years old and I'm the elder in my lineage. Am I supposed to be some kind of Patriarch now? Am I supposed to have the answers? I don't feel like I have any of that. And I don't feel ready to go the rest of my life without a parent or grandparent to talk to. Sorry but I just had to vent somewhere.

That's fine, I went through that in 84. I/we will help all we can.

Vent away man.

I'm not in the same place as you but it's something I've given a lot of thought to in recent weeks/months. My GF's parents are rather elderly and sometimes in poor condition, her dad's now fighting lymphoma etc - so you think. It's a heavy heavy thought - you're the oldest living XXX.

Something I don't envy becoming.

Prayers up and trust me when i tell you there are plenty of old timers willing to talk to you.

Very sorry for your loss.

No one is "ready". Start by being a good example. The rest will come.

I read, "No Dad, is a Dad, until his Dad dies?

I am going down the same road, Dad got old, sold our 525 in Mississippi, then sold the camp at Grand Isle, he sits at home doing nothing. Mom has been ill for 6 months. I know how you are feeling and I Don't have a answer for you or myself

I just know we gotta be strong

Mike - time heals all wounds some take a lot of time. It'll work out for you like it has for others through the ages.
Condolences for all that you have lost.
May your Dad rest in peace.

My mother and father both, and all of my grandparents, have been dead and gone for a long time now.

I’ve come to realize that you never really stop missing someone that you love deeply ~
you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.

I am sorry for your loss.

Sorry for the loss of your Dad. My Mom died young, in 1976. Dad passed in 1998. That's when I realized I was an orphan and felt the same as you do now. Your Dad may not be able to talk to you, but you can talk to him. Live a life that would make him proud. Mourn his death but don't let it slow you down. Keep living, the answers will come. God bless you.

+1 to this. Also, it's easy for me to say this and much harder for you to do, but try to reflect on the fact that you had your dad for 49 years; many aren't that fortunate.

Sorry for the loss of your dad.

It's going to be fine with you being the patriarch. Your grandfather and father had the same situation, and you looked up to them for advice and guidance.

Prayers for your family.

Look no further than the advice given here.

You have my sincere condolences, sir.. I'm in the same boat, but a lot older than you.. Best wishes.

My condolences on losing your Dad. I'll be facing this soon I fear.

Ready or not, you are here. Your cards have been dealt.

Patriarch does not have the answer, patriarch helps ask the right questions that lets people find their own right answers, then stands with them as they do their very best. It's not about control. It's about being a guide. Guides can be just as lost as anyone else but they are supposed to use their heads. Help people use their hearts, their heads, their priorities, their values to make their decisions rather than imposing your own. Basically, be patriarch from humility and service, not from ego and control.

It's the best I've got for you.

Tom

Been there, it's not an easy thing to come to grips with. You will eventually take it on and become the patriarch.

At 74 I'm the last of my family remaining save for a cousin who is 85, I text her often remembering the good family times we both shared with those who are gone. My focus now is my grown daughters and the grandson. Time although it won't bring family members back but will ease the sorrow, live for those you love and tell them how much you love them every day.

Memories, hold on to your memories.

I'm 75. Our mother died last year at 104. That leaves me as the elder of the family since my older brother died 12 years ago. It didn't make me a bit smarter and certainly not rich from an inheritance. It's just keeping on keeping on. My turn's coming and my oldest son is nearing 50.