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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,147 Likes: 10
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,147 Likes: 10 |
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Jul 2020
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2020
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Joined: Nov 2015
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 14,659 Likes: 3 |
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,749 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,749 Likes: 1 |
"Preserving the Constitution, fighting off the nibblers and chippers, even nibblers and chippers with good intentions, was once regarded by conservatives as the first duty of the citizen. It still is." � Wesley Pruden
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 9,924 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 9,924 Likes: 1 |
The Pentecostals trapped the squirrels and fed them to their snakes!
Ignorance can be fixed. Stupid is forever!
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Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 17,169 Likes: 11
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 17,169 Likes: 11 |
Dan your jokes are gettin' a bit squirrelly!
-OMotS
"If memory serves fails me..."
Quote: ( unnamed) "been prtty deep in the cooler todaay "
Television and radio are most effective when people question little and think even less.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,147 Likes: 10
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,147 Likes: 10 |
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Sep 2023
Posts: 1,334
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Sep 2023
Posts: 1,334 |
I enjoyed it ! Pics would have been nice.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,147 Likes: 10
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,147 Likes: 10 |
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 10,497
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 10,497 |
Good One !! Thanks for posting. Squirrels are what initially got me into air rifles. I now have two.
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Joined: May 2019
Posts: 430
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: May 2019
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 407
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 407 |
10 gauge
32" full
WW 3 1/2
2 1/4 oz #6
What squirrel problem
Just sayin'
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 9,924 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 9,924 Likes: 1 |
Good One !! Thanks for posting. Squirrels are what initially got me into air rifles. I now have two. Two squirrels?
Ignorance can be fixed. Stupid is forever!
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 60,856 Likes: 10
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 60,856 Likes: 10 |
A bunch of squirrels went down the chimney on my grandpa's house. They found the nuts, and made a trail to the toilet for water.
These premises insured by a Sheltie in Training ,--- and Cooey.o
"May the Good Lord take a likin' to you"
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 4,392
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 4,392 |
"No good deed shall go unpunished!"
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 5,927
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 5,927 |
Funny
At the church of CRS, lead poisoning solves all squirrel problems...
Arcus Venator
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 16,143 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 16,143 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,749 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,749 Likes: 1 |
Wonder what that squirrel is thinking when he suddenly finds himself 50 ‘ in the air traveling around 75 fps!😀
Bet the little SOB lands on his feet without any damage, and thinking “what the freak happened “.
"Preserving the Constitution, fighting off the nibblers and chippers, even nibblers and chippers with good intentions, was once regarded by conservatives as the first duty of the citizen. It still is." � Wesley Pruden
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 20,839
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 20,839 |
Please don't feed the trolls!
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 2,082
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 2,082 |
Never surrender. 😎 ![[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]](https://i.postimg.cc/Zqs0KHp0/P9270072.jpg)
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Forums81
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