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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,568 Likes: 5
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,568 Likes: 5 |
Ponderisms:
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it? ! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 5. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~ *~* 8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 9 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist? * ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? *~*~*~*~*~*! ~*~*~*~* 12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* < B>17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. ! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 22. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells... 'THEIRS'?
Clyde
The liberal mind is an endless black hole of stupidity.
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 19
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 19 |
" A true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him" G.K. Chesterton
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,825
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,825 |
Did you ever notice that the people who buy expensive exercise equipment, also buy expensive riding lawn mowers.
Too many people buy stuff they don't want, with money they don't have, to impress people they don't like!
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 907
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 907 |
A fool uttereth all his mind - Proverbs 29:11
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,878 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,878 Likes: 5 |
~ ~ ~ Kind'a paradoxical ... ... but good!
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930 |
LOL...enjoyed it;grin;!!
Dug this one..."If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?"
HoundGirl
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. -- Mark Twain
Part of me lives with the wind in my face, while the other part is barely alive.
--Mary Gauthier
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,085
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,085 |
For #10. I think that should properly be eleventeen.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,878 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,878 Likes: 5 |
I think #10 should more properly have been listed #11.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,500
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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Posts: 1,500 |
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Clear
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,500
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,500 |
What is the speed of dark?
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