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In 'our' marriage its 'our' money - we're working as a team.

I've seen a lot of marriages where it was 'mine and hers' (or 'mine and his') and seems like a much higher percentage went sideways.

My paternal grandparents celebrated 77 years together a few months ago (the maternal side only made it to about 70 years before granddad died) and the concept of 'his and hers' was something none of them could understand.


I guess you can believe I'm 'defeated' if you so choose, but after 27 years with the same woman I have a very different opinion of the situation.

It always evens out, she said the day at a spa cost $200 but I found receipts that said otherwise. Of course my Kimber was only $500 on the credit card but that did not show the $500 cash already down

Individual expectations greatly determine to what degree money will be a basis for controversy within a marriage. Find out what the other person "expects" prior to getting hitched.

Sad state affairs.

Yep.

Well said Coyote Hunter.

I would rather have our stuff. Than my stuff all by myself. I have too many friends that either wish they had someone or wish they did not have the one they got. Mine does me a pretty good job so I'm going to try and keep her arround..grin

The best policy is one of enthusiastic mutual agreement. That means no one is having their arm twisted or having to be sold on what the other one wants. Even if your wife says, "Just buy whatever car you want and I'll be happy", don't accept that. Find some that you like. She won't enjoy driving as many cars as you will, but take the short list to the house, give her a ride and watch her reaction. Buy the one she likes best. For example, you would be happy with a Buick LaCrosse, but that used Buick Lucerne is only $1,000 more and it is nicer. If she really wants you to have the Lucerne, buy it. But if she brings up the slightest damper on spending the extra money, let yourself be influenced by her, and let her know you appreciate her common sense and frugality.

Do that on the big things, and when you have a bunch of cash laying around and want to spend $1,000 on a Zeiss scope, you won't have to mention the $1,000 that "you" saved on the car. She'll do it.

I buy, sell and trade guns. My money for it comes out of my own trading. Any recreation comes out of extra work I do, not out of my regular, expected income. If I am billing by the hour, it comes out of overtime. And it is only a fraction of that - she gets the bulk of it to save for the new things she wants to improve the house.

My wife is my life and business and parenting partner, pure and simple. And, I have to say that on the grand scale of things I spend WAY more money on "hobby" stuff than she does... so I cannot complain one bit. These days I try to keep my gun money more or less even by selling things to buy things except mumble mumble I to tend to treat myself with every big commission I pull mumble mumble. :-)

We met in 1988, at a blues jam at one of the local college watering holes. Luckiest night of my life!

Marriage is work; it's not always easy. Duh. And even my feminist wife agrees 100% that there are some things that men are more likely to be suited for, and some things that women are more likely to be suited for, and that a fair division of labor accounts for an individual's strengths and weaknesses. She doesn't change oil or run the chain saws, I don't cook as much or clean bathrooms <G>. Works for us.

We've been in a state of marital flux in the last couple years as she's gotten back into the work force after 10+ years of being a stay at home mom (and a very good one), while I shifted careers a couple years ago (complete with all the stress that brings). So we've been evolving the family dynamic. I have been more involved in the day to day household stuff because my schedule is much more flexible that it used to be... and I'm not as exhausted from working two jobs. She's making money, and more importantly has delivered really great health insurance to our family, the kind money just about can't even buy if you are self-employed.

Anyway... we are far from perfect and I am far from perfect and she is far from perfect but in my opinion a marriage is a partnership and should be viewed as such.

-jeff

Well here is a topic that I can certainly relate to. Perhaps some of you have seen my ads in the Doublegun Journal, or Shooting Sportsman. Without trying to self promote. I would like to extend the courtesy of helping my fellow sportsman with any diamond or jewelry related need they may have. We are designers and manufacturers of high-end platinum and gold pieces that are sold through over thirty independent jewelry stores throughout the country. We also cut our own diamonds.

You can visit my website at www.platinumrings.com or call us at 888-995-PLAT

Regards,
Philip

I saw your ad in DGJ. Are these rings to let you keep the gun, or do you trade in the gun on the ring to get out of the doghouse?

My first anniversary, I gave my wife a Browning 2000 shotgun.
I really did want her to take up my hobby. No way, she said. I bought the shotgun for $325.00, sold it that afternoon for $300, and bought a sold gold Cartier wristwatch, which she still has. I learned my lesson.

Lee, when are you going to post the Model 70 pics you promised???

These rings are so you can buy MORE guns. Let's just say I've traded a few guns for jewelry over the years. The Browning might have went over a little better if the watch was in the same box!

Certainly taught her to hold out for bigger things.....

Roy

I have to get permission to post the pictures of the Model 70s which are in a rack on the production floor. The plant produces 95% military weapons for the US Army and USMC.

Lee24,

I too tried, unsuccessfully I must add, to get my wife involved in my hooby as well. Coming up on 11year anniversary and still haven't made any progress.......yet. Might take me another 10 or 15 years to wear her down *grin*


Leo

I agree!
None of this his and hers crap.
It's ours.
In a court oif law it be decided as such anyway.
Been down that road & have no intention of doing it again!

ML

Some women like the hooby more than others...

I am aware of this Lee which makes me wonder how you were able to snap photos in the first place.

Roy

I am a manufacturing consultant and product designer. I get paid to improve and develop new products and processes. Automobiles, medical devices, aerospace, construction and firearms are my areas of expertise. I'll upload some pix from my laptop and post tomorrow.

Thank you, looking forward to actually seeing them being made.

Roy