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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269 |
I would, and I darn sure would come out with a smile on my face.  I'd be mighty careful about mentioning using a tub of vaseline with a platoon of Mech grunts aroundif I wuz you Les 
Be afraid,be VERY VERY afraid ad triarios redisse My Buddy eh76 speaks authentic Frontier Gibberish! ![[Linked Image]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y222/EvilTwinMar/Sabretooth-1.jpg)
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Hell, everyone on my track knew if the ramp was up and my Driver and Gunner were outside the track, what was going on.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293 |
My Dad, God bless him, my brother, and I were pheasant hunting in Kansas years ago. We stayed and received royal treatment at the home of one of Dad's submarine pards and his wife, Sam and Erma.
Sam and Erma had spent 10-years in Africa after the war, so the day before we left Erma whipped up some "African curry". I can't vouch for the authenticity of the meal, but I can vouch for Dad bragging that he crapped in four states on the way home the next day.
One of our pit stops in Missouri was a tiny gas station. Dad stayed in the truck at first while brother and I gassed up and stretched our legs. We also got to listen to an old gal complain about her doddering husband and how he had just ruined his new jacket. It seems he had suddenly become ablaze while burning the garden...
Anyhoo, Dad followed us into the gas station, and after rummaging through the meager inventory, produces the largest tub of vaseline known to man. I couldn't believe it - the tiny station had a few packs of smokes, a few scattered candy bars, and a huge tub of vaseline. Dad thunks the vaseline down on the counter, pays for it, and asks the young lady clerk where the bathroom is. The clerk points to a curtain about 3-feet away. Dad tucks the tub under his arm like a football and ducks through the curtain...
Brother and I paid for the gas and hustled through the exit, but not before we heard a P51 Mustang fire up its engine behind that curtain. The clerk just put her hands over her face and muttered, "Oh, my...".
After we all loaded into the truck and started down the road Dad broke the silence saying, "Well, only two states left to go." rolling on the damn floor laughing!! Oh man that's good stuff!! thanks.
Something clever here.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,948 Likes: 12
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,948 Likes: 12 |
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,552
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,552 |
Tub of vasaline to grease the undercarrige... Tzone, That got me thinking. Somehow I ended up with that tub of vaseline. After his record breaking performance, Dad was probably too weak to lug it into his house so he left it in my truck. Knowing the tub's history, I figure my wife would skin me if I stashed it in the bathroom. Sooo, I used it to grease up the dog during cold weather hunts - vaseline prevents ice from building up on the dog's fur and chaffing his beans. My wife once asked me how exactly the vaseline is applied to the dog. I could tell she probably really didn't want to know the answer. I replied, "Grab the tub and chalk him up! It's all in the wrist."
Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.
Robert Frost
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Crap, coffee everywhere on that note.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680 |
Hey, when ya make your platoon do 2 12 mile roadmarches a month, ya learn what keeps that crap away. Ya don't wanna let the Joes see ya suckin', plus everyone knows Engineers secretly wear pantyhose for the same reason. If'n you're horseback anything that works including panythose! Never had to use them myself yet, but would darn sure do it. Rode in 13 miles in 2000 with 2 friends that were horse people and I am not! Horses do not like me I am sure of that! Killed a bull and rode out the next day with the meat cause the weather was warm and the bears were ugly. I thought I was gonna die! I didn't want any part of riding a horse after that! I was willing to walk out! Pantyhose are a heck of a lot cheaper than underarmour and you can waste them in a campfire!
Liberalism is a mental disorder that leads to social disease.
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680 |
JOG, You gotta quit! I just spit coffee on my computer screen and people are giving me strange looks! Keith
Liberalism is a mental disorder that leads to social disease.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Pantyhose are a heck of a lot cheaper than underarmour and you can waste them in a campfire! See the truth comes out, I take it you throw them in the campfire so you don't have to answer awkward questions from the wife?
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269 |
....difficluty breathing, eyes clouded up snot running out of my nose...laughing so friggin' hard the cats ran for cover
Be afraid,be VERY VERY afraid ad triarios redisse My Buddy eh76 speaks authentic Frontier Gibberish!
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 490
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 490 |
p51 had me with tears in my eyes and getting funny looks from my coworkers as I about fell out of my chair....... Once again Dave starts another Great for laughs thread, Thanks Dave...
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,750
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,750 |
p51 had me with tears in my eyes and getting funny looks from my coworkers as I about fell out of my chair....... Once again Dave starts another Great for laughs thread, Thanks Dave... This stuff is too funny to be free!!
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293 |
oh man, JOG, we have got to have a beer sometime! "it's all in the wrist"
LMFAO!!!
Something clever here.
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680 |
Pantyhose are a heck of a lot cheaper than underarmour and you can waste them in a campfire! See the truth comes out, I take it you throw them in the campfire so you don't have to answer awkward questions from the wife? Nope cause they stink!  Who do you think I steal them from if needed?
Liberalism is a mental disorder that leads to social disease.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 46,965
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 46,965 |
Pantyhose works great on horses or mules...........I've been told ......... and biker shorts/underarmor works great for long hikes if not a regular long hiker. Once the damage is done, I haven't found much that works well, but never tried the products mentioned, but likely will.
We may know the time Ben Carson lied, but does anyone know the time Hillary Clinton told the truth?
Immersing oneself in progressive lieberalism is no different than bathing in the sewage of Hell.
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 793
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 793 |
I tried posting about 4 post ago but couldn't see my keyboard. Reading this is almost suicidal on the stomach muscles. All of the above apply, coffee spraying, tears running, snot running, choked on my coffee. I had to close my office door so my secretaries didn't think I had lost it and called the Law....
Thanks All
Rob
// Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.//
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,552
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,552 |
I loved those Kansas trips. One time Dad, my brother, and I were hunting with Jack, a local dog breeder - Gordon setters. Jack would run 4-5 dogs at a time which is a lot of dogs for us Minnesota boys to keep track of. Occasionally a dog would seem to be settling into a bird when Jack would call out "Purina Point!", meaning the dog was just stopping to take a dump.
We got to the end of one particular swing and somehow lost Dad along the way. I called out, "Hey, Dad! Where you at?"
Not far away and hidden by some cattails Dad's voice replies, "Purina Point!"
Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.
Robert Frost
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269 |
[quote=tzone]Tub of vasaline to grease the undercarrige
"Grab the tub and chalk him up! It's all in the wrist." I think I cracked a rib
Be afraid,be VERY VERY afraid ad triarios redisse My Buddy eh76 speaks authentic Frontier Gibberish!
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 46,755
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 46,755 |
I'm using Purina Point from here on out. I will never be able to take a dump again without thinking of that. litteraly LOL here. people keep asking questions.
Camp is where you make it.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269 |
On a hunting trip in the 'Dacks about 10 years ago, we had bumped up onto a pond between two mountains. My Dad sneaked away into the thick brush on a little point on the pond. We heard grunts and ahhhhh's Dad came out with a big smile,"I christen thee 'Brown's Landing'" It has been a reference point for my crew ever since. "Meetcha next to Browns' Landing"
Be afraid,be VERY VERY afraid ad triarios redisse My Buddy eh76 speaks authentic Frontier Gibberish!
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