Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire A delicate topic, "baboon ass"

what's the best way to fight this evil infliction??

It happens you know, climbing mountains with a pack on your back, rifle slung over your shoulder, eating man food for a week, drinking the fire water...

out at elk camp, putting some miles on, lots of walking.....

baboon ass, it happens folks, it's real.

so what's the best thing to carry along on a pack trip to battle this delicate condition?

gold bond, "anti monkey butt"...

Lets here em...

Same as swamp azz? Assume it is. You tried the powder? Lotion?

I've seen the powder before, funny! Never bought any, thinkin it would be funny to bring along & worth a try.

chafing lotion? got a picture of a horse on there, so... is that for the horses ass or the riders ass?

i'm such a horses ass.....

that monkey butt may be funny stuff...but it works.

so er...a...yeah...a friend told me about it.

Just lube up with some of the triple antibiotic with the topical anesthetic from wal-mart before you start and you won't have any problems.

The mental pictures this question has conjured up has made my breakfast churn like a cement mixer. Try just regular cornstarch.

looka that, bout 65 views & only 3 replies

everybody tryin to pretend they don't know about the baboon...

"we mussent speak of the redness, hush northern dave, you are embarassing us all"

phhhfffttthhtt!!

"scoundrel!"

Baby wipes.

....like I said, it definitely AIN'T a pretty pitcher

nope, not pretty.

un-pretty.

Thanks for the input, so far I've learned absolutely nothing. (joking)

where are the old guys? old guys know this kind of stuff.

baby wipes and wear spandex running shorts under your jeans, learned that after plenty of road marches, believe me, the spandex shorts make a HUGE difference after 12 miles of sweaty azz cheeks!

try some of those ooohh aahs or whatever they call them.

maybe a dip in that creek once every few days wouldn't kill ya would it.

love the avatar les, caribou barbie, that's awesome!!

ladies & gentlemen, I give you vice president caribou barbie!!

woot! woot!

My Dad, God bless him, my brother, and I were pheasant hunting in Kansas years ago. We stayed and received royal treatment at the home of one of Dad's submarine pards and his wife, Sam and Erma.

Sam and Erma had spent 10-years in Africa after the war, so the day before we left Erma whipped up some "African curry". I can't vouch for the authenticity of the meal, but I can vouch for Dad bragging that he crapped in four states on the way home the next day.

One of our pit stops in Missouri was a tiny gas station. Dad stayed in the truck at first while brother and I gassed up and stretched our legs. We also got to listen to an old gal complain about her doddering husband and how he had just ruined his new jacket. It seems he had suddenly become ablaze while burning the garden...

Anyhoo, Dad followed us into the gas station, and after rummaging through the meager inventory, produces the largest tub of vaseline known to man. I couldn't believe it - the tiny station had a few packs of smokes, a few scattered candy bars, and a huge tub of vaseline. Dad thunks the vaseline down on the counter, pays for it, and asks the young lady clerk where the bathroom is. The clerk points to a curtain about 3-feet away. Dad tucks the tub under his arm like a football and ducks through the curtain...

Brother and I paid for the gas and hustled through the exit, but not before we heard a P51 Mustang fire up its engine behind that curtain. The clerk just put her hands over her face and muttered, "Oh, my...".

After we all loaded into the truck and started down the road Dad broke the silence saying, "Well, only two states left to go."

Seriously...

I Don't have the hiking/hunting conditions you mention, but will tell you that if you suffer from good old AL swamp azz, as from dirt biking during our hot summers, the UnderArmour boxer briefs are a must have. They do a fine job of keeping sweat wicked away from the nether regions. Never had a case bad enough to need the powder, but I'd imagine it can't hurt.

Boudreaux's Butt Paste. Honest to God Dave. It works.



Clyde

JOG,

I am laughing so hard I have tears coming out!


Dave,

Try the powder, it works. Never tried the spandex shorts but Les would know!

Keith

Hey, when ya make your platoon do 2 12 mile roadmarches a month, ya learn what keeps that crap away. Ya don't wanna let the Joes see ya suckin', plus everyone knows Engineers secretly wear pantyhose for the same reason.

JOG,

cryin' here...A P51 Mustang is pricless.

Tub of vasaline to grease the undercarrige may not be a bad idea, but I wouldn't buy one and then ask where the bathroom is...

I would, and I darn sure would come out with a smile on my face.