Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Wishing I was dead...

Try talking to friends and family about your situation. Can you get away from work for a couple of weeks to vacation somewhere new? Sometimes meeting new people and trying new things (activites, foods, etc) can give you a fresh perspective.

Things will get better if you keep trying.

Derek you know no one can help a Diva like you.... your not shi-t-ting me, I can save the world one day and hide the next, the little black dog will follow you around for the rest of your life, get used to it,and survive,and oh yea FEAR GOD.

From a natural standpoint, are you getting plenty of sunshine for good old Vitamin D which counteracts depression or taking a supplement of D3?

Also, Omega 3 oils counteract negative moods. It's a good excuse to eat wild salmon, not the farm raised kind, or just take omega 3 fish oil gels. Take about 4 grams a day minimum.

Can you cut down on junk food and eat natural and raw more and knock out the sugar and sodas?

Good Luck!!!

Dear Derek:

I am elkhunter76's wife. He showed me what you have written as I suffer from depression as well. You have been given some good thoughts from everyone on this website. I have been dealing with severe depression for my entire life. There were many times I was as low as you are now, but with the right help and my faith in God I've managed to be in remission. I learned to look up. Currently I am working on my masters in counseling and work at a mental health facility. I am not too far from my degree. I share all this with you to let you know that I do know what I am talking about. I totally agree with Kevin Gibson and because I've been there . . you are showing signs of suicidal ideation. Some of that could be due to the fact that you are not on the correct dosage of medication. When your seretonin is depleted the correct dosage will take note of that and work until you are not severely depressed. This may mean that you might have to switch medication, but the important thing is that you need to see a doctor and be totally honest about the way you feel. It is quite difficult for men to admit that they struggle with depression so I applaud all those who have shared with you that they do.

Derek the wanting to go to sleep and not wake up is a sure sign or suicidal ideation. Even the title of your email of wishing I was dead says a great deal. If I could be so bold to ask if you have a plan?

Derek, I want to encourage you that if you have a plan you need to get help immediately. There are other options and most important there is hope. There is hope because there are medications that will be helpful, but they are not a quick fix. It takes a bit to get into your system. There is hope because with every doctor that you may not be comfortable with, there is one that you can be. Temporarily though, be bold and share with a doctor asap. There is hope because you can see a therapist. Many people have a poor experience and for that I am sorry. However, you won't know until you go. You need to remain safe, Derek thus working with a therapist would only be in your best interest. Together medication and therapy work very well.

Derek, there is hope for you. You can work through this. I encourage you to know that you are worth every bit of effort it takes to beat this horrid disease. It's the pits because you can see someone that is in a wheelchair or with a leg or arm that has a prothesis, but you can't visually see depression. Therefore it is hard to explain to those who have not experienced the depth of pain that goes with it.

If in deed you have a plan or continue as you are feeling hopeless - you do need help today. Do not delay, Derek. You are worth it.

Finally, I want to share with you to remember that you are very special to a lot of people. It would be sad for them all if they weren't allowed the opportunity to work through this with you.

I am more than happy to help you through this pit. Remember to look up, Derek. You can make it and there are a lot of medications available to you. You are worth it.

My sincere prayers are with you asking God to protect you as you do the right thing and seek help.

God Bless you.

Oh, and whatever rings your bell as to having fun, go do it if it doesn't involve breaking the law or breaking your marriage vows. Try to get those endomorphins streaming from running, sex, beautiful scenery, great healthy food, etc. Look for stuff that excites you-fine guns, any gun, hunting, travel,

I have an ex-friend with millions of dollars. Nothing interested him like you in a way, except his nude beaches and the symphony (I said ex-friend). He never would spend his money.

Propbait, you're not helping the situation in the least, unless I took your comment the wrong way...
Selmer

Derek, I also suffer with clinical depression and have done so for 40 years. A good psychiatrist can do you a world of good. I have taken nearly every anti depressant known to man for years. The meds do stop working after a time. The holidays are a depressing time for many for some reason.
Hang in there !!! You have many friends on this forum.
PM me anytime you want to talk on the phone.I don't work so am available anytime.
Good Luck ,and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!

your friend,
Neil

Derek,

Are you on any prescription drugs besides the Celexa? If so, does your doctor know? Lots of people get multiple prescriptions that can interfere with one other and sometimes their doctors may not realize it. From what you said about your doctor, he may not have been very aggressive about making sure before he gave you that prescription.

Best Wishes.

Selmer This cats is getting the tit he wants.. they started me out on bu spar then effexor then Zoloft then... risperdal yea a pysicotic drug, wow what a joke, i lived with anxiety that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and it's all because I wasn't prepared for my job. Now I work in a restaurant and am happy, sad but true.

Derek the only person thats going to help you is you, face your fears, live in the moment, and get right with well you know.

Propbait, if this "getting the tit he wants" helps, then by all means, let it help. I have also suffered through anxiety and depression, they are unfortunately closely tied to one another. I'm in a helping profession, I'm hear (pun intended) to help, if you were Derek's brother in the office with me for a counseling session about this you would be asked to leave without hesitation if comments like your previous ones persisted. This thread has been hijacked enough, please let it end.
Selmer

Guys, I'm still reading...Still appreciating the info. Will try to write more tomorrow when I can.

I had a long talk and found out my friend isn't playing me...At least, I am satisfied of this fact for now. I hesitate to use the term friend just yet, as others have said. Let's say, acquaintance.

I don't know...Anything anymore.

I'm not going to drag this out into some big pity-me session. Needed to vent and cut myself open and bleed for awhile and I did, and you have all helped. I'm not here to get sympathy, or pity.

ElkHunter's wife -- don't have any plans but today I came pretty darn close. I can visualize it perfectly except for the last part. Never could get that right in my mind. Comes down to parsing loose ends -- pay off my debts or leave them as they stand, what instructions to leave for what is left, etc.

Kevin, I don't ever want to commit myself...In PA I'm pretty sure I'd be verboten for firearms ownership ever again. That = good as dead for me.

Long story short...I'll reply to the PMs folks have sent me but I Don't want be the board drama queen so I'll refrain from dragging this out.

Thanks again all.

Derek,
I have read this entire thread and watched all this unfold. I wont add much, as you have already received wise sage advice from so many others. But let me share this one thing with you..and I will share from personal experience. On August 31, 2007 our beloved Jimmy (.280Rem's father) carried out, successfully, a suicide plan. He never spoke nor even hinted of his plans, yet we all knew of his depression. Let me tell you the devestation his death wreaked on our family was off the charts. Our lives are forever changed, and not for the good. I would compell you to seek help, for you sake but also for the sake of those who love you.

Derek......venting is an important thing......also important to do so to those willing to listen which i am confident 99% of those here are....but get to your doc and get your meds tweaked ASAP from what you have said i think thats pretty important too......

Call me pard. I can assist. I can help you find help discretely, avoid quacks, and find a solution for you. Have me paged if I don't answer. Your friend,

Warner, CEO SHIFA Mental Health
3374390385

I'm not going to read the whole thread,.....

An old logger told me once,

...."If you can't get outta' it, get INTO it"

sharpen your chain,....go to work, it'll blow over,

Prayers,that it'll be thus,

from my quadrant.

GTC

Now there's a friend!

g

I have not read every entry, just the first page or two and the last 2.
Derek, I can somewhat understand what you are going through, when my wife and I split, I didn't feel a whole lot different.
I also have an acquaintance of several years that always seemed fine. He lost his job, or was laid off with a retirement of many 1000's of dollars. He and his lady friend burned through that with neither even trying to find a job. He preferred to just feel sorry for himself.
Last year he deceided to go over Niagara Falls without the barrel. He suceeded with his plan, they fished his body out of the river 5 days later.
Yep, he put an end to ALL HIS problems, trouble is, he created SOOOO many problems for his family, friends and acquaintances.
He is gone, no more problems for him, he was just too selfish to face HIS problems, get help and work with Doctors.
Ya, he took the easy way out for him, I wonder if he ever thought of the greif he brought on his parents, brothers and sister, fiance and everyone that he was a friend too.
Life is full of problems, real people deal with them, regardless.
I hope you do too. There ain't no second chances at this game..period.

Distinguished company around this fire humbles one,.....

There's a friend dittos

GTC

Ironbender: That would be the song

Derek: I wrote a little more just now, mostly in response to what others have said but I'll respect your desire to close this thread.

Everybody else: WOW! What an awesome bunch of folks.