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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 12,165
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 12,165 |
"Uglier than a mud fence" was an old saying my grandfather used. <P>A not so politically correct friend of mine used the term "buns up and squealing" when speaking of a couple of gay guys he saw walking down the street.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
"A day away from [her] is like a month in the country."<P>"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there." � Fred Allen<P>"Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies." � Honor� de Balzac<P>"I hope she has varicose veins, because otherwise she's completely colorless."<BR>
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
"Anyone can become angry � that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way � this is not easy."<BR>[Aristotle, "The Nicomachean Ethics"]<P>"It is with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."<BR>[Antoine de Saint-Exup�ry, "The Little Prince"]
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
FINALLY found it deep in my clutter! <P>� from the late Tom Q Ellis of Mississippi, friend of my grandfather:<P>"A visit in the home of a friend of many years brought happy memories of the distant past. We sat on his front porch long after the little town was wrapped in darkness and the 'women folks' had retired. We spoke regretfully of many little satisfying harmless customs that modern progress has frowned out of existence, and we involuntarily stepped to the edge of the porch as the conversation continued. On my return home, 'inspired' by happy memories of the visit, I penned and forwarded to him, these lines:<P>"I believe in modern progress and advance in human skill;<BR>We are bound to move in some way for I know we can't stand still.<BR>But there's one old fashioned custom which to banish seems so hard,<BR>That of creeping to the gallery's edge and peeing in the yard.<P>"Since this good old pleasant custom was confined to boys and men<BR>Late at night when all the women had got sleepy and turned in,<BR>I can't see how modern progress we the least bit could retard<BR>Just by stepping to the gallery's edge and peeing in the yard.<P>"I can see no moral reason why our pleasure thus they rob<BR>While with modern, brazen boldness in the house they do the job;<BR>When for solitude we waited and good morals never marred<BR>Just by stepping to the gallery's edge and peeing in the yard.<P>"This old Country needs will-power and needs comradeship of men,<BR>And it certainly took will power for a fellow to hold in<BR>'Till the World was wrapt in darkness and a comrade stood on guard<BR>As he crept up to the gallery's edge and peed out in the yard.<P>"When at last I get to Heaven � as I surely hope I will �<BR>I am sure such modern progress can't deny me just one thrill;<BR>That of having Old Saint Peter standing faithfully on guard<BR>When I creep up to the gallery's edge and pee in Heaven's yard!<P>"Yours for return to fundamentals,<BR>"TOM Q. ELLIS"
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 87
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 87 |
well since all of us here use computers i thought this quote i saw in the computer room at the place i work. very fitting it states.<P>THE GOOD NEWS IS COMPUTERS DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU TELL THEM TO DO THE BAD NEWS IS COMPUTERS DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU TELL THEM TO DO.<P>I think that about sums it up.
OSAMA BIN LADEN YOU WILL BE MEETING ME VERY VERY SOON.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
sign that used to be in the soils lab at Auburn:<P>"This is a LABORatory, not a labORATORY."<P>sign in the anatomy lab at Dr W Howell's medical school (painted with complete fidelity of style to the original):<P>"Drink Cloaca-Cola"<P>(Cousin Bill puzzled a long time over why it looked not quite right before he finally saw what it REALLY said.)<BR>____________________<P>two more:<P>This sign never seemed funny when I saw it everywhere as I was growing up. Then I drove across Canada in 1957, and it struck me as funny every time I saw it north of the border:<P>"Drink Canada Dry"<P>(Met a bunch of Canadian buddies, then and later, trying their best to do so.)<BR>______<P>Forget what you KNOW this ubiquitous street sign means (and is MEANT to say), and read what it SAYS, without lower-case, comma, or period:<P>NO PARKING<BR>VIOLATORS<BR>WILL BE<BR>PROSECUTED<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Ken Howell (edited June 18, 2001).]
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 81
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 81 |
[img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]I just think Manson is FUNNY(and quotable)I don't think he's a very nice person.You asked for my favorite quote and I gave it, NOW SOT OFF!!
If you can't go hard....go heavy.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 5 |
BEER - 'cuz ugly people need sex, too!
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 25
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 25 |
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't lead a horticulture"
"nullum gratuitum prandium"
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 163
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 163 |
Another highway sign seen way too ofte and SO true when you delete the commas:<P> SLOW <BR>ROAD WORK <BR> AHEAD<P>I always liked clever ways of describing those who can't shoot straight:<P>Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn from the inside.<P>Couldn't hit the ground with his hat.<P>Couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat.<P>Couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a banjo.<P>-al
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 458
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 458 |
I saw one today that I just love,<P>"Beauty is in the eye of the Beerholder"<P>Instant classic!!!!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 50
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 50 |
Couldn't drive a stick in the mud.<P>Couldn't organize a gangbang in a *****house.<P>About as hard to find as a cat in a dog house.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 624
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 624 |
His eyes looked like two pee holes in a snow drift.
Hunting should never be used to compensate for poor long range shooting skills. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 50,667 Likes: 2
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 50,667 Likes: 2 |
My wife's favorite tee-shirt;<BR>"My next husband will be normal"<BR>art
Mark Begich, Joaquin Jackson, and Heller resistance... Three huge reasons to worry about the NRA.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 9
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 9 |
..."Slicker than owl _hit on a pump handle." <BR>"She is cuter than a little spreckled pup with two tails."<BR>"As serious as a cat _hitting."
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 9
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 9 |
"He's such a ___tard he carries a turd in his pocket for identification."
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 422
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 422 |
You can lead a horticulture,<BR>but you can't make 'er think.
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