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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,974 Likes: 11
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,974 Likes: 11 |
May have been around, but if so, I missed this short story. Just passing it on. 1Minute
Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
for my loyal pet, Buddy, my loving Dashound and was in the checkout line
when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to
try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. Target won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
1Minute
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 594
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 594 |
TFF 
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 6
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 6 |
That is just GREAT!!!!! I laughed at this one at least as hard as I did at the last time this came out. Great job.
Graham
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,127
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,127 |
Okay, Now you have me planning a trip to Target! Bear
Bear
Life is what happens to you as you are making other plans.
NRA Patron Member
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 59,181 Likes: 3
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 59,181 Likes: 3 |
Ex- USN (SS) '66-'69
Pro-Constitution.
LET'S GO BRANDON!!!
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,815 Likes: 11
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 67,815 Likes: 11 |
Being a retired person myself, I can relate. I'd pass what I told the busy body in Publix's parking lot yesterday who made an inquiry about my license tag, but this is a family forum. 
Sam......
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,010
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,010 |
Was the Irish Setter hurt bad?
Wake up, smell the politician, and re-elect nobody.
"Nee how,nega bin da" (Mandarin: "Hello,dumb a$$)
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