Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire My 1st grader is testing my heart. Advice needed.

HERE,HERE,I TOTALLY AGREE.

We had a similar experience on the bus when my twins were in the third grade. They only ride the bus home. Grades are seperated on the bus and this one fifth grader was always getting in the other kids face. Well one day Garrett, a good size boy for his age, got tired of seeing the little guys getting harrassed by this fifth grader and he gets up, calmly walks over to where this guy is seated and he bops this guy on the thigh with his fist and tells him to stop it! Well he and the other guy gets suspended for a few days from the bus and when I start communicating with the vice principle and asking to see the "video" cause I am looking to exonerate his name from being labled as a "bully child" for protecting others. The video can't be located and he doesn't have a "record" yet.
A little polite confrontation goes a long way.

You might not want to hear this, but your boy has to pop that kid right in the beak. I know they are older, but if he does it right, they'll leave him alone. It is documented that the older kids are picking on a your boy.

I was not a big kid in school so I was picked on quite a bit in 1-3 grades. While in 2nd grade, I was picked on by a 5th grader everyday for 3 days. On day 4 I got mean, and had enough, I knocked that little sucker in the nose, made it bleed. He cried like most bullies do when they are actually confronted. So his buddy started and he got one nose to match his friends. I got booted from the bus for the rest of the week, but I wasn't bothered by them again.

But, make sure he doesn't start the fight. And don't run from it, because it will get worse. This happens to every kid I think, and it is usually harder on the parents than the kids. You guys will be fine.

Clos,

Sorry to be blunt, but I think you've been handling this wrong from the start and are getting some poor advice. Most of us at the Campfire don't trust the 'system' to protect us or our loved ones and it's a folly to expect anything different from a school.

You apologized when your son was in the right, and you dragged him along with you.

Your son needs to develop a thicker skin, and learn how to fight back verbally as well as physically. Your son getting mad and breaking down in tears is completely understandable for his age, but he's going to have to get past that. His reaction is what's making it fun for the other guys.

well, its one thing to have a conflict with kids near your own age.....this is simply bullying kids half their size. the school should have the bejeebers scared out of it by lawsuit threats, as discussed above, and in that sit down with the parents of the bullies I would make it real clear that if their punk puts his hand on your kid he'll get a ride in a police car. Let the kid cost his parents some legal fees, and THEY'LL put a stop to the bullying.

there is just no way to win these days by punching the other kid out, satisfying as it might be

Steve,

You described a righteous approach to this mess with no apology letters. As a first step I agree 100% and it might even work. If it doesn't, the boy will have to learn to look the other kids straight in the eye and smile. A couple snappy comebacks wouldn't hurt either.

JOG-Good advice and it will do him well in the corporate world.
For the youngster--He needs to tell them bully kids that he�s got AIDs and one bite they will be doomed. LOL

This day and age schools are [bleep] up. When I was in elementary school, I used to love drawing. When I was in 1st/2nd grade, I drew a lot of construction stuff like bulldozers, etc. When I got a couple years older, I drew a lot of tanks, jeeps, and guns because I loved military history and reading about guns. The school psychiatrist called my mom to have a meeting. They took drawings out of my desk and talked to my mom about it, thinking I was crazy. I'm pretty sure my mom had a few choice words with them, nothing else was said about that.

A 1st grader fighting 5th and 6th graders isn't going to happen. I got in a few fights when I was younger. Got expelled for beating up the biggest kid in my grade, almost got kicked out for beating up two older bullies with a lunch tray. Best thing you could do, lecture him about what he said, and get his butt involved with wrestling. It'll do a good bit to help him.

I grew up on an inner-city Catholic school playground. Fights were expected and generally allowed to run their course. The downside was the Nun in full habit circling the fray and patiently waiting for her shot at the winner...

Now that's wisdom. Most often a guy was better off losing the fight.

TFF.

I have this picture of a Nun with her dukea up circling and yelling, " Come on punk, take a shot at me...come on boy, lets go."

Thanks, that made my day.

Sure, laugh at my nightmares. When a nun has a two fistfuls of your neck and is breathing in your face it ain't so funny...especially if she needs a shave.

The meanest of 'em all was Sister Emelda. She beat on my Dad when he was a kid in Hibbing, my older brother and me in Minneapolis. She's the only person that has wiped the floor with all three of us. Kinda embarrassing, but Sister Emelda was probably 80-years old when she dealt with me, clutching my uniform tie in one hand and biatch slapping me with the other - in the boy's bathroom no less.

Don't forget the code. If you lay down and take it then you are branded a puss and are subject for more. If you fight then you get respect, even if you loose, though you may have to do it a few times.

Another thing dad said, "Boy, if you loose, make sure that other guy doesn't walk away smiling." Basically he was saying to get a piece of him.

+1

Ok just got done reading everyone's posts, and i want to say thanks for the replies. Well first of all i am trying to teach my kid that while at school and on school property that he need to control himself. watch what he says and how he acts. now while out of school and off of school property is another story. and i will teach him not to back down and stand up for himself and his little brother who is 2. and if he does that he will have no problems from me. i am going to enroll him in either wrestling or some form of martial arts. I live in a town house development and there are a lot of kids around so in the summer as he gets older i am sure he will get practice in dealing with different situations. wish i had the money to send him to a private school, but that is not going to happen. so i will teach him when and where it is ok to deal with these kids. like don't start the fight but you better finish it, and if it happens to be at or on school property, then he ill have no problems from me. even if he gets expelled, so long as he stands up for him self.

Worked for me. Don't forget to teach the school a few things as well.

I would tell you that I would get your son into wrestling, boxing and the cub scouts. They have great freestyle programs in that area. Don't worry about your little guy. You are in good country to develop a great young patriotic American.

My kid observed another student beating the living daylights out of another kid over a psp in middle school. He calmly walked up to the kid and clipped him in the face with his book which was a softcover personal reading book. He was promptly suspended out of school for three days for assault with a weapon.

I told him that he did the right thing. I would have tanned his hide if he would have left the one kid seriously hurt the other kid.

In today's society, the aggressive kid's parents could have sought civil action against us.

Teach him to be true to his family, god and country and he will be somebody who you won't have to go down to the jailhouse to bail out when he is older.

Sincerely,
Thomas

At some point it's going to come to blows,and the boy better know enough to win or at least not get hurt.This is serious stuff.

I didn't know WTF I was doing when I tangled with an older,larger bully at age 7.He knocked me down and socker kicked me to the head when I was in a prone position.It knocked the first disc down from my brain stem out of place,which has caused me to have severe chronic migraines ever since.I have to take $3K a month in meds to just be able to function because of that SOB.

So teach the boy how to fight.Tell him to never start a fight,but if someone chooses to start a fight with him,that he needs to get mean and do everything possible to stop that person from hurting him.Otherwise he could end up like me,which ain't a good thing.

WB.