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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 61,130
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 61,130 |
dude what wears a derby nailed it.
he already had permission
and a steep price to pay, 2x's a freakin year, girl better be able to put a scald on some food and be hell with an iron
frickin ridiculous, or did you mistype and it's 2x a day or week? Plus a whole damned bunch.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 20,847
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 20,847 |
There are 3 sides to every story.. he said... she said...and the objective reality somewhere in the middle.
You also might want to think about deleting the post... divorce proceedings get nasty and an investigator doesn't really even need to leave his office chair to follow all kinds of sent trails. YMMV
Please don't feed the trolls!
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 33,971
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 33,971 |
You also might want to think about deleting the post... divorce proceedings get nasty and an investigator doesn't really even need to leave his office chair to follow all kinds of sent trails. YMMV true dat!
Proud to be a true Sandlapper!!
Go Nats!!!!
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,192
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,192 |
I've done, been done to, watched a lot of it happen and didn't like it much from either side I dropped out of the rat race some time ago and at this point wonder why I ever cared. I'm a great believer in letting folks did their own holes and letting them dig themselves out
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 2,054
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 2,054 |
2x per year? Heck, I wouldn't know what to do with that much.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 32
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 32 |
a thirsty man is gonna find a drink
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930 |
"his Mrs. put him on a twice yearly ration of rollin in the hay about 5 years ago"
I'da found my wings '5 years ago'....
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. -- Mark Twain
Part of me lives with the wind in my face, while the other part is barely alive.
--Mary Gauthier
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930 |
PS....and to answer the question directly, I'd die before I disrespected someone I loved....but then again, I'd rather be dead than live with someone I trusted and had disrespected me.
I'm safe that way, though....cuz weeezy lovey to roll in the hay<grin>....
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. -- Mark Twain
Part of me lives with the wind in my face, while the other part is barely alive.
--Mary Gauthier
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,551
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,551 |
"I Birn Quhil I Se" MacLeod of Lewis I Burn While I See Hold Fast MacLeod of Harris
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414 |
dude what wears a derby nailed it.
he already had permission Permission or not, a vow is a vow (or did he not promise to "keep himself only unto her" when they got married)? I can understand why he is feeling eaten up by guilt. However... what's done is done and if it's over and he's never going to do it again... I would say not to mention it to his wife. If she finds out, it will change her forever. It will change their marriage forever. It will impact their children forever. Now if he's contracted HIV or something, then he has to tell her. I don't like secrecy between spouses. But what does confessing this really solve? If it's simply to assuage his guilt, well, maybe guilt is the price he has to pay for his indiscretion. The hurt that she will feel if she finds out won't even come close to that. That's my take on the situation. YMMV Penny
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. --Hebrews 11:1
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930 |
I don't like secrecy between spouses. But what does confessing this really solve? If it's simply to assuage his guilt, well, maybe guilt is the price he has to pay for his indiscretion. The hurt that she will feel if she finds out won't even come close to that.
Penny
Perhaps the next time she gives an ultimatum(sp?) she'll think twice....and, perhaps, the next time he doesn't have the nads to fly the coop after being given that ultimatum(sp?), he'll think twice. Without truth, there is nothing.
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. -- Mark Twain
Part of me lives with the wind in my face, while the other part is barely alive.
--Mary Gauthier
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 632
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 632 |
i don't think she could feel much hurt. if she only gives it out twice a year, she is the one that is hurting the other. i don't think i know of any man that went into a marriage thinking ok, i get it twice a year???? i think divorce is the only way to go, and for the woman, she has some serious mental problems to work out.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414 |
Without truth, there is nothing. What would the truth solve in this case? I doubt it would strengthen the marriage, make the wife more inclined to have sex with her husband. I think that it would only hurt... not heal. I don't see what would be gained, but maybe I'm missing something... Penny
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. --Hebrews 11:1
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 632
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 632 |
and, if anyone really wants to go there, she is the one that broke her marriage vows. a woman is supposed to submit to her husband. clearly she is not doing that.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414 |
i don't think she could feel much hurt. I truly believe that any spouse who learns that the other has cheated on him/her will be deeply hurt. Again, just my opinion... Penny
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. --Hebrews 11:1
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,414 |
and, if anyone really wants to go there, she is the one that broke her marriage vows. a woman is supposed to submit to her husband. clearly she is not doing that. Did they mention that in their vows? And even so, just because one person does wrong, does not make it right for the other. (Sorry... it's my mother speaking, and I can't help it! ) Penny
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. --Hebrews 11:1
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 79,321 Likes: 2
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 79,321 Likes: 2 |
Bottom line is,..the relationship is over once either of the participants shuts down on the other one.
If the woman has no more investment in the marriage than to cut the man off and tell him to go get it elsewhere,...the marriage is a farce and needs to have the plug pulled on it.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930 |
Without truth, there is nothing. What would the truth solve in this case? I doubt it would strengthen the marriage, make the wife more inclined to have sex with her husband. I think that it would only hurt... not heal. I don't see what would be gained, but maybe I'm missing something... Penny A reality check for both, perhaps(?). I see them both as chicken chits, too afraid to call it what it is. What does affording another 10 years to a marriage that is already dead do for either party? Just to save her feelings, or make him uncle his guilt? Nah, love is nothing without honesty.
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. -- Mark Twain
Part of me lives with the wind in my face, while the other part is barely alive.
--Mary Gauthier
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 632
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 632 |
well, i hope they didn't get married in church then.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,930 |
and, if anyone really wants to go there, she is the one that broke her marriage vows. a woman is supposed to submit to her husband. clearly she is not doing that. HTFDIMT....Do tell me you are joshin' 'round and not serious, man.
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. -- Mark Twain
Part of me lives with the wind in my face, while the other part is barely alive.
--Mary Gauthier
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