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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
There's a much more succinct way to say this, but among those who're customarily assembled here, that shorter, handier way is sure to stir disagreement, debate, and offense. So �
With neither prejudice nor coercion intended, the party of the first part, hereinafter (and in The Hereafter, in whatsoever nature or form it may be understood or conjectured) to be known as the �wisher,� does desire to communicate to all parties of the second part, hereinafter to be known as the �wishees,� and to all other interested, uninterested, disinterested, and antagonistic parties with or without standing, hereinafter to be known as the �unwished,� the following declaration �
Please accept with no obligation, express or implied, the wisher's fervent wishes for an environmentally responsible, socially responsible, low-stress, nonaddictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter-solstice holiday normally practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of your particular religious persuasion, or in due regard of and respect for the secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious and/or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all � and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make the United States of America great (not to claim or to imply that the United States of America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the sole and only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, sex, physical ability, religious faith, or choice of computer platform, rifle cartridge, method of hunting, or any other personal predilection, whether normal or aberrant.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms �
� This declaration is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
� It is freely transferable with no alteration of its originally intended meaning.
� It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, custom, or personal bias, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
� This declaration is warranted to be valid as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new declaration at the sole discretion of the aforedefined wisher.
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2008
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the ultimate holiday disclaimer...
30-06 till i die, the greatest round ever! I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy! CEO of a Turdlike People: Turds & Tats Division... (per Ingwe  )
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 24,239 |
You took the words right outta my mouth .
Never holler whoa or look back in a tight place
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 22,274
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 22,274 |
Merry Christmas, Dr. Howell
"...the designer of the .270 Ingwe cartridge!..."
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 16,610
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 16,610 |
Happy Festivus
"Hey jackass, get your government off my freedom."
MOLON LABE
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 17,042
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2005
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Do you carry it in any other size or colors?
Merry Christmas Ken... no disclaimers...
Kent
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,993
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,993 |
Happy Kwanza!!
edit: Oh, wait a minute. That is an artificial celebration.
Merry Christmas!!!! That one is real!!!!!
Last edited by Notropis; 12/21/10.
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,396 Likes: 4 |
Walmart has that exact statement on their marquee, right above the Salvation Army guy holding a sign that says 'ding ding'.
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell
It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
Walmart has that exact statement on their marquee, right above the Salvation Army guy holding a sign that says 'ding ding'. Not "that exact statement." Theirs is theirs. Mine is mine. They're not the same.
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 20,494
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 20,494 |
Bah Humbug! No disclaimer required! 
"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." (Prov 4:23)
Brother Keith
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,694
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,694 |
By God, Dr. Howell, that was the work of a "Wordsmith" if I ever saw it.
"The number one problem with America is, a whole lot of people need shot, and nobody is shooting them."
-Master Chief Hershel Davis
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 8,810 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 8,810 Likes: 5 |
Merry CHRISTmas Dr. Howell and all...
Sorry if I offended anyone but I've heard it said "Every knee shall bow and Every tounge confess that JESUS CHRIST is LORD."
Will Munny: It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.
The Schofield Kid: Yeah, well, I guess they had it coming.
Will Munny: We all got it coming, kid.
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Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
So it's written, and so I'm aligned, but alas, that prophecy obviously hasn't been fulfilled yet.
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Posts: 69,396 Likes: 4
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,396 Likes: 4 |
Walmart has that exact statement on their marquee, right above the Salvation Army guy holding a sign that says 'ding ding'. Not "that exact statement." Theirs is theirs. Mine is mine. They're not the same. In the words of Yul Bryner in The 10 Commandments: "Let it be written, let it be done"
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell
It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 8,810 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 8,810 Likes: 5 |
Indeed, "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
Will Munny: It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.
The Schofield Kid: Yeah, well, I guess they had it coming.
Will Munny: We all got it coming, kid.
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,619 Likes: 4
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,619 Likes: 4 |
"God bless us, everyone!"
(Now pass the wassal! ;))
Kaywoodie
Last edited by kaywoodie; 12/21/10.
Founder
Ancient Order of the 1895 Winchester
"Come, shall we go and kill us venison?
And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,
Being native burghers of this desert city,
Should in their own confines with forked heads
Have their round haunches gored."
WS
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 35,293 |
Merry Christmas from my family to you Ken.
Something clever here.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 142
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 142 |
Merry Christmas Dr. Howell!
RLD
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
In the words of Yul Bryner in The 10 Commandments: "Let it be written, let it be done." Those words include a translation of the ancient Hebrew word that's transliterated "Amen." Alternative translations are "so be it" and "so let it be." Sorta like a devout "Aye, aye, Sir!"
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 17,491
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 17,491 |
Some will be offended, that is a given. "So be it." Merry Christmas regardless. Nevermind if you mind.
Sometimes, the air you 'let in'matters less than the air you 'let out'.
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