Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Finally some facts about Texans

This explains a few things.
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<br>Texas Facts
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<br>Now a little about Texas...
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<br>Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
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<br>There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
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<br>There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.
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<br>If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
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<br>Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
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<br>There are valid reasons some people put concertina wire around their
<br>house.
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<br>Texas has 6 seasons (Summer twice):
<br>Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
<br>Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
<br>Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
<br>Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
<br>Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
<br>Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15
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<br>The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until July 15, then it stops
<br>totally.
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<br>Onced and Twiced are words.
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<br>It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
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<br>Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
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<br>Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
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<br>Coldbeer is one word.
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<br>People actually grow and eat Okra.
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<br>Texans really don't have an accent.
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<br>When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
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<br>Green grass DOES burn.
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<br>When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people
<br>drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
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<br>The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
<br>couple of weeks.
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<br>When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to
<br>the Doctor.
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<br>Fixinto is one word.
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<br>A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.
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<br>Backards and Forards means I know everything about you.
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<br>You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
<br>is.
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<br>You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
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<br>Texans will laugh harder at this than anyone else because they all NOW
<br>these facts are true!!
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Whaddya mean true? We've got a lot more kinds of snakes and spiders than that. And, as far as work goes, if you live on a ranch, it ain't never done.

That explains why it was so darn hot while we were there! It was during the "Super Summer" season!
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<br>Bad timing, the story of my life...
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<br>Oh yea,... Green grass may burn, but we didn't see any green grass that wasn't somebodys front lawn. The greenest part we saw (and the nicest) was Boggys place. (good ice tea too!)

And here I done growed up thinking the four seasons was............Bass Spawn, Redfish Run, Dove and Deer.
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<br>I'm fixin ta find a test I had to take recently on Texas Culture for you boys to see how yall stack up.

BIG SKY..
<br>good to "see" you
<br>haven't talked to you since alloutdoors.
<br>you may recall my girl sent you a drawing of a horse.
<br>you still have an art webpage?
<br>I have been out of the country the last 16 months and have lost contact with most everyone.
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<br>pig

They also think CO and NM are Texas state parks. However they treat out of towners the best that I have ever encountered. Thre is no match for Texan hospitality. Too bad thier family trees only have one limb.

How do you get a six foot Texan in a three foot box?
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<br>Take away his ego
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<br>Haaaaaaaaahh!!!!!!!
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<br>Sorry guys I couldn't resist, plus I can relate to to many of those things Big Sky said about Texans...A lot of it applies to crackers as well.
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<br>Mike

Saddlesore, -- everybodys tree starts from one good limb. -- no

Now Sky,here in North Texas we only have 3 seasons;Too hot,too cold,and October.Come see me some October.

That's pretty sneaky Gene, everybody knows all us Texans are in Colorado in October hunting elk. -- no

Big Sky,
<br>Guess I'm guilty of about everything you said but you forgot to mention the wind Oct 1 blows from the North bringing Northers, Feb 1 it changes to the South bringing Mexicans.
<br> -- no

Worst deal we ever fell for was to swap off most of New Mexico and Colorado for some spending money.
<br>BCR

No offense to Texans known and unknown - Heck, half my nephews and nieces came from Texan gals - but here in Alaska it is rumored that a Texan is a wetback that didn't make it to Oklahoma. (My Latino ex-sister in law will get me for that!)
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<br>Hear tell of a Texas mt. lion that invited his Arizona cousin to dinner. Laid up on a limb. Pretty soon a cowboy comes riding under, and the Az lion lets out a squall and jumps the rider, knocking him off his horse. When the dust settled, the lion couldn't find his dinner. Texas told him he'd done two things wrong - "First, you scared the crap out of him. Then you knocked the wind out of him. In Texas, there's nothing left when you do that."
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<br>I'm originally from North Dakota, and Montanians make jokes about us. My wife's relatives Montanaans) once gave me a "North Dakota Sex Manual" as a gift, shortly after we were married (24 years now). Ten or 12 pages. First page "In" Second page "Out" Third page - come to think of it, I don't think I ever got that far....

"In Texas, there's nothing left when you do that."
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<br>ROTFLMAO!

You forget, there are plenty of A$$ holes. -- no