Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Real cowboy joke..

This cowboy's been in the saddle for 4 days. On the morning of the 5th day he sees a small town and rides down, hitching the tired, sweaty horse in front of the bar. He then walks stiffly around to the back of the horse, lifts up the tail and kisses it on the O-ring and walks into the bar to fill up.
The barman, a curious type, sees all of this going on , but says nothing, as this stranger looks a bit wild.
After the 4 drink the barman can't contain his curiosity any more and asks the cowboy: "Ah say pardnur, I couldnt help but notice that you kissed yer hoss on ther a-hole before you came in.. is there a reason fer that??"
Cowboy replies: "Ah got chapped lips.."
Barman: "Oh? Does that cure it?"


Cowboy:"Nope, but it stops me licking em.." <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I heard the same story with a different build-up (two prospectors and a burro) and only slightly different punch line ("What good does that do for chapped lips?" "Not much, but it keeps you from lickin' 'em").

My wife, my brother, my parents, and I were watching "The Virginian" on TV one night in 1961 or so, and I cracked-up at a punch line to a joke that Trampas had been telling off-camera (out of our hearing, of course), and everybody looked at me as if I'd gone crazy. So I had to tell 'em the joke.

On the TV show, the Virginian was inside the bunkhouse and walked outside (followed by the camera) in time for us to hear Trampas say to some of the other hands on the bunkhouse porch, "Not much, but it keeps you from lickin' 'em."

Red Skelton used to sand-bag his guest stars on his TV show by telling an unbroadcastable joke before the show started, then repeating or alluding to the "innocent" punch line on-camera to make those guests lose their cool while they were trying to follow the script. The poor viewer, of course, had no clue to why Red's guests � usually show-business stars � were losing it.

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My dad's reply to any complaints about chapped lips was always to go and rub chicken---- on them for the same reason. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Two cowboy jokes.

What are the three biggest lies a cowboy tells?

1. I can ride any horse ever born.
2. The pickup is paid for.
3. Honest, mister, I was just tryin� to help that sheep over the fence.





Q: Three men sitting in the seat of a pickup. Who is the real cowboy?

A: The one in the middle. He doesn�t have to drive and he doesn�t have to get out and open gates.

Aahhh - the real origin of the term, "Lucky Pierre"...

Do you know why cowboys have 2" balls?






















To pull the trailer with!


Ba Da Bump! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


--Mike

Cowboy in full attire sitting in a bar is approached by a guy asking if he is a "real cowboy."

"Well, I ride horses and brand cows, sleep out under the stars so I guess I am a real cowboy."

A lady comes in and asks the same question and he responds the same, but asks what she is.

"I'm a lesbian," she responds.

"A lesbian?"

"Yeah, I think about women all the time. I dream about women. I think about them when I wake up, when I eat breakfast, while I am working, when I go home in the evening, all day long I just think about women," and wistfully she got up and left.

Another guy approached the cowboy and asked if he was a real cowboy...

"Well, until a few minutes ago I thought I was!"

A conservative, a liberal and a cowboy were all standing at the bathroom stall taking a leak. The conservative finishes up and proceeds to wash his hands. As he takes fistfuls of paper towels he exclaims "I graduated from Stanford, and they taught me trees were a renewable resource" The snobby liberal finishes up--washes his hands and takes one single towel and says "Well I graduated from Berkley and your kind are destroying the environment" The Cowboy finishes up and proceeds to leave. The other stop him in disgust and one asks "Aren't you going to wash your hands?" The Cowboy turns to 'em and says "Well boys, I graduated from the University of Wyoming, and the taught us not to Piss on our hands"

A Montana cowboy looking for the Cabot library on the Harvard campus asked a passing professor for directions.

"Where's the Cabot library at?"

"At Hahvahd, one nevvah ends a sentence with a preposition!"

"All right, where's the Cabot library at, ass hole?"

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Q: Three men sitting in the seat of a pickup. Who is the real cowboy?

A: The one in the middle. He doesn�t have to drive and he doesn�t have to get out and open gates.

And he has control of the radio.